Browneyes,
I agree with you 100%.

By Browneyes (198.86.22.59) on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 01:31 pm:

Haven't been posting for a while, just watching... as a black woman who herself has been involved in IR, I don't think of white women on the whole as weak, easy, cheap, more beautiful, less beautiful, 'ditzy blonde' type people. It's different for everyone. There actually are some black women like myself who say live and let live. While I'm no respector of persons, the crazy crap about 'black men are more this, white women are more that, black women are more this, etc, etc are rather ridiculous, even if meant in a good way, only because how on earth can personality and what potential or capabilities people of different backgrounds be measured? EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT, IT JUST DEPENDS ON THE PERSON. If everyone's created equal in God's image, I have no reason to feel superior OR inferior to the white girl on the left. We're all people.

By Frangiapani (203.54.231.96) on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 07:53 am:

Is it true that a lot of Black women think of White women as inferior or below them? I just read that from a past post.

By Wyatt (207.8.207.55) on Monday, March 26, 2001 - 02:53 pm:

As a black male who is married to a white female, I find it a laugh that people are talking about things as superficial as hair. Simple, comb it, wash it, cut it, brush it, leave it down or put it up.

There are more important things to consider for children, like organic, non-toxic food, open spaces to play, fresh air, clean drinking water, safe commnitites, bed time stories, excellent, tolerant, safe schools, swimming lessons, horse back riding, tennis, campfires, girlscouts, math and science after school classes, beaches in summber, skating, sailing, summer camp, french lessons, bible school, a on.

Life is too short to worry about the hairstyles and racial specific issues. They will be teenagers soon enough and you can then help them choose different styles and care procedures. Also, Ebony and Jet and Johnson haircare products have been around for ages. White mothers and black fathers can as easily look on the web on in a book to find out how to treat hair, so let's not use that as a divergence to loving and having lovely children.

By Kansascity (209.242.125.223) on Sunday, March 25, 2001 - 11:28 pm:

I do not need HELP with my biracial childrens hair because my oldest daughter is a cosmetologist/hairdresser (We keep it in the FAMILY@OURFAMILY. We do not have to even go to Madame CJ Walker (God Bless her Soul, the first Millionaire in the good old USA!) As far as the HAir ISSUES go, your trippin and not us or me. I have noticed over the many years of my experience in the black community how so very often it seems more important to get your hair done, than put food on the table. Get your priorities straight. and don't let fashion (men) run you.

By Mizzlori (216.29.206.66) on Monday, March 19, 2001 - 10:15 am:

Zandii, first of all, I guess it must not be that easy to understand where I stand on a few things. First off, I do get offended when I see parents not taking care of their children(of any race). It bugs me when people choose to take care of themselves more so then the appearance of their children. You stated that when you are unable to do your daughters' hair in a certain way, you do not hesitate to bring them down to the local beauty shop to have their hair done. That is good, but you must understand that their are some who just won't put that much effort into making sure that their child doesnt run outside looking like who knows what. I applaud you for your efforts. As far as not being introduced, or rather educated about my own heritages, I do not place blame on my mother for this. Unlike today's times, there was not enough information out there for women who were raising multicultural children. There were few, if any, groups and there was no internet. My mother never once changed who she was, or pretended to be like those she chose to interact with. It was hard trying to decipher parts of your message, but through the slang, it appears as if you think I might have a problem with myself. I do not. I am still learning about myself. I feel that learning is a lifelong thing, so I am blessed by the day to find out new things about myself and have the opportunity and ability to teach them to my own children. Without "you", I would still be me. And to be honest again, if you were my mother, you wouldn't talk the way you write and you would be open to listen to my concerns without judgement. I hope if you choose A/A males it is for their morals, you can only expect the best for your children. And as far as anyone being "better" or "worse", I am no better than anyone around me, nor do I choose to think that way. I have faults, I am not perfect,therefore I am human.

By Zandii (65.5.128.100) on Sunday, March 18, 2001 - 07:40 pm:

Mizzlori....granted there are wf who may need a little help with there Biracial childrens hair and infact if I cant get it the way I want it I pop on down to the local beauty Saloon and the sisters hook me up or show me what
I dont kknow...as far as heritage and white moms who do not teach there children next time you run into one have them see this website maybe it well help them www.oneloveforall.com. And I know many a sister who parades around in her name brand clothes x 30 outfits yet her baby only has 1gq outfit so when you go doggin the white women remeber the sisters do it just as easy if not more ..unfortunately I think you have been raised around to many people who did not give you enough of something and we gladly would like to help. To try and Be Proagainst your own kind "Biracial" will hurt you in the end.You are a beautiful person and you have the best of both worlds but remeber we created you white women and A/A men. We love you and all our children like you. Yet If you were my child and talked like that..I would definately whoop that azz.... Because there are many W/W who do educate themselves and make there children knowledgable to both heritages..unfortunately maybe you did not get those advantages...And I have yet to see an abusive brother on my arm. I had a beautiful husband who died a few years back and I have 3biracial daughters I adore and have to raise by myself amongst many gorgeous brothers tryin to get with mama...and If they are no good...ya throw em back...has nothin to do with the skin color and ...I have been married to a black male and will marry a black male again because I prefer then morals and standards..I do not feel any less then a sister and believe me I have some southern NaNa that keep us on track...so get with the year 2001 educate yourself and be glad you are the future...Prefer not to date IR is fine but dont dog us out without us there is no you...Or figure out why you are really mad at Ir relations?? Maybe we can help

By Mizzlori (216.29.206.66) on Friday, March 16, 2001 - 02:34 pm:

Anonymous, I did try and respond yesterday to your comment, but it wasnt posted. But I will briefly tell you that NO i do NOT have any self-hate issues going on. And as far as my being opposed to myself i think not either. My mother no longer is involved in IR relationships. Matter of fact, when I was growing up she never was either. She has always been with caucasian males. Her choice of partner is of no concern to myself, because it has no direct bearing on what type of person I am or will become in the future. Now I can keep saying the same things over and over on this board about myself being PERSONALLY opposed to IR relationships, but it really wouldnt matter if people only saw the word oppose and choose to comment off of that part only. You may think what you would like to about my views, but please remember that while I am not putting anyone down, I am just stating that am opposed to ANY relationship that is negative. Who a person chooses is their own business. I am on here strictly to learn and observe.

By Anonymous (64.109.40.24) on Thursday, March 15, 2001 - 11:54 am:

Mizzlori, I am wondering if since you are opposed to interracial dating, do you have some self hate issues? If your opposed to IR relationships, you are opposed to yourself. If it was not for IR relationships, you my friend, would not be here!

By Melirosa (208.48.12.163) on Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 02:59 pm:

mizzlori-
when i asked you who you think i should be "allowed" to date, i was only trying to make a point. of course i am going to date who i want. i was merely trying to show you that everyone should be allowed to date who they want, regardless. what another person thinks of me marrying a black (jamaican) man, is not on my list of things that i care about and is of NO importance to me. i could care less what others think. i to have a "hoodlum" past and the people i hung around dated in their race, out of their race, it really didn't matter. what i don't understand is, if you are a product of an IR relationship, how can you be against IR relationships and what gives you the right to say that IR's are wrong? it sounds hypocritical coming from someone like yourself. you have a it's o.k. for me but not for you tone. i do agree with you though about females being mistreated. no woman should be mistreated by any man nor a man be mistreated by a woman. it is wrong on both ends. i have seen it both ways. are you saying that white females shouldn't be with black males because they are often mistreated or do you think that they just shouldn't be together because black men should stay with black women and visa versa. are you speaking from experience from your own mothers stand point?

By Mizzlori (216.29.206.66) on Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 12:39 pm:

melirosa, my mother is caucasian and my father is African American. As far as who i date, i do only date A/A males by preference. I have been approached by Caucasian males before, nice ones at that, but I chose to remain friends with them. As far as who you should date, it is totally up to you and your preferences. The person that you choose should enhance your qualities that you bring to a relationship, and respect you at all points. As far as the race goes, in my opinion, persons who are born with more than one race have the option to choose (so does everyone else) you dont even have to choose a relationship with a partner of those races either. The people I hang out with and the people that i have hung out with in the past are very different. But the attitudes still have transposed into the new crowd i am with now. i am now around working individuals with families of different makeups, unlike my "hoodlum" past. So the mistreatment of females among any race bothers me. The only reason why i have stressed the A/A male-Caucasian female IR is because it is the only type that I have really came into contact with.

By Melirosa (208.48.12.163) on Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 11:58 am:

mizzlori,
just out of curiosity, you mentioned that you are bi-racial, what type of man do you date? or does it matter because you are of both races? is it allright for you to date black men as well as white men or even hispanic? i am half puerto rican and half irish, who do you recommend i date and how would you go about making that recomendation? should i date white men or just hispanic men? do you get my point? if you are having these conversations with your male friends and they are all coming back with negative answers such as the ones that you have described, maybe it is the type of people you surround yourself with or maybe you are right, maybe it is a male thing in general. we are ALL learning about life mizzlori, life is one long learning experience and we we learn and learn some more. i am still a young woman myself and i am learning every day. i have learned that race is nothing more than the color of ones skin and it is a made up word by man and so is prejudice and so is the overall attitude on this country that one race is better than another. we are all different, on the inside and out. people are people. if we all removed our skin, we would all be the same on the outside, then what would we find to complain about? i hope that when you form your final opinion on the whole race thing, it is in a positive light and that you consider your own racial make-up while you are coming to this decision.

By Mizzlori (216.29.206.66) on Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 11:17 am:

O.K., well I am going to try and comment on each of the person's who have chose to write back, with the exception of Spade, because I have already commented to him on another page. First off, I am personally against IR relationships like I stated before. I may not agree with them, but then again, i really do not care about them either. As long as a person is being treated fairly by the person they are with it should be all good. One of the problems that I had seen arise from those type of relationships is the callousness put forth by the males in those relationships. I do not need a man to validate my worth, nor do I expect one too. Usually the W/W are alright, but that is if they remain true to themselves and dont "try" to be someone and something that they cannot physically ever become. A lot of the males do treat A/A females differently. I am not trying to impose my OPINIONS on anyone. Any to be honest, I am not trying to aggravate anyone either. If lives intertwine, and if things get hairy, so be it. Stuff happens. Nobody, of good faith and morals, should really care what others are thinking about them. Because unless they pay your bills, their opinion doesnt make a heap of anything. When I see black women with men of different cultures, i ask myself what made them choose that person, but like i said before, as long as the person is being treated well and fairly in their relationship, it really doesnt matter. I cannot tell you how many times I have had the conversation with my male friends on why they choose, or prefer, caucasian females. I usually get three or four negative responses, and never once have I heard someone mention about the character of a person, or what they can bring to the relationship. I have also heard the same about being in same-race relationships. Maybe it is just a male thing, maybe not. I come here because I want to know what people ar thinking. i am still learning about life, and I value opinions and take them into consideration for futhur use. So if it appears as if you may be offended by some of the things i say, that is alright. I am a grown up and I can take criticism. I have read all of your comments, and I do feel that it is o.k. to be on this site with the others who choose to come here. I am not here bashing evertone, but rather, stating my own opinions and requesting feedback. that is all...

By Anon2000 (207.218.73.32) on Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 11:07 am:

btw, y'all we seem to get these "invasions" whenever someone decides to post the link to this site on black voices. i saw that someone did just that last week, so...

By Melirosa (208.48.12.163) on Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 10:11 am:

mizzlori-
perhaps whitewomenblackmen.com isn't the site for you. if you are against IR relationships, how is it that you made your way to this web site? maybe you should find a forum where there are individuals such as yourself who share the same ideas as you do, where you can have a discussion and air your feelings to people who are actually going to agree with you and support you rather than waste your time here and only gain aggravation from people who are entirely against how you feel.

By Melirosa (208.48.12.163) on Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 09:42 am:

i am so tired of black women who think they are being "passed over" by black men for caucasion women. just because a black male is with a white woman, does not mean these men are passing over women within their own race. while it is true that some black men may "prefer" white women over black women, that is not always the case. doesn't anyone believe that sometimes you just love who you love regardless of their race? i love my man because of who he is, not because he is black. like spade mentioned, it is the PERSON who makes up their individuality, not what color they are. i do agree that your culture is a part of who you are, but it doesn't make the whole person. i wonder? how do black women feel when they see another black woman married to a hispanic or white male? do they think they must have went to another race because there are "no good black men" left? i think not, but maybe i'm wrong. there is always going to be a double standard. people need to stop worrying about why who is with whom, and just be glad that two people can actually find love in this day and age, regardless of race. there are a lot of things to be worried about in this world and for people to be worried about why two strangers on the street chose to be together is a huge waste of time, and to get angry about it is even more ridiculous, because chances are, your lives will never intertwine, and what someone else does is their business. mind your own business, worry about yourself, manage YOUR OWN life, live the way YOU want, and stop trying to impose your opinions on how people should live on someone else.

By Ishvara (38.163.112.51) on Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 08:04 am:

Personally I'm sick of the sentiment that they feel passed over or not good enough, it isn't the responsibility of the rest of humanity to make them feel worth while but the responsibilty of that person, they must obviously have a low self image to be so easily made to feel unworthy. We do live in a white world, so just imagine how much harder it is for me with a A/A boyfriend, so "wearing him like a sweater" just brings untold amounts of grief which I bear on a daily basis. I am proud of him as the man he is, and have no problems with being in his company in public. And I agree with Spade wholeheartedly we ALL are already mixed and have been mixing since the dawn of time.

By Frangiapani (203.54.52.206) on Wednesday, March 14, 2001 - 04:50 am:

I know I dont think of a black man as my "trophy", Im actually quite proud to be seen with him. Some black women I have encountered have the attitude, but If I put myself in their place I might feel the same way. Majority of BW are attracted to BM only, while some BM seem to have an attraction to all races. Maybe if I was a black women Id feel like Id been stepped over, not good enough...while BM and WW know that isnt the case, BW probably cant help but feel that way.

By Spade (65.2.125.149) on Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 05:18 pm:

Mizzlori,

---

Quote:

I believe that African American males choose Caucasian females is that they don't complain as much as black women.

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By Mizzlori (216.29.206.66) on Tuesday, March 13, 2001 - 04:05 pm:

I believe that African American males choose Caucasian females is that they don't complain as much as black women. Black women have placed their standards very high and in all respect, many black males do not reach it, therefore, they choose someone who will accept them. i am biracial and to be honest i am opposed to IR dating and procreating, but if an IR couple is equal and the woman is not being used ( like usual, open your eyes), then it is alright. Black women often make remarks about IR relationships because it is offensive when a perfectly good A/A male would pass them up to talk to a Caucasian female whom they feel is inferior, or less than what they feel that man should have. Either way, as long as they are not being disrespectful, disrespected or used, people should hold their tongues. Many of my friends disagree with those relationships because the A/A male is usually a "trophy" to those white girls and they girls wear them like sweaters.... something to think about....
Also, if you are going to have children, please do everyone a favor and learn about the culture before you mix with it! I cannot count how many times i have wanted to scream because i have seen beautiful biracial children with their hair messed up and their mothers perfectly o.k. with it, or when a child doesnt know their own history...