Anon2000:

You are right. I learned long ago never argue with a woman, because you will lose. ~ Roberto

By Ishvara (4.54.118.215) on Friday, March 2, 2001 - 07:29 pm:

You're probably right it's not usually found in the elite class most likely due to education and exposure to various cultures.

I think perhaps the media has something to do with it. I rarely see Asian males in mainstream media. It hasn't been too long since black people broke that barrier. I'm not quite sure on the over all effect it might have on IR relationships, I haven't really thought about it much but I can see a grain in that. What you see around you does to a certain effect influence even if it is on a subconcious level. I find within my peers masculinity playing a definite role when it comes to an initial attraction, strong powerful men, not the meek and mild usually draws a women. White America has a strong stereotype when it comes to Asian males and how they are portrayed in our society just as they do with black males. Personally, I love the actor Jet Li he is so sexy and I have seen all of his Kung Fu movies, he's always so strong and powerful but then again I am watching an Asian movie I don't think I'll find many American movies with an Asian superhero, this brings to mind what a tough time Bruce Lee had.

As far as ww feeling threatened, I tend to think women do not view it the same as men. What do they have to loose? Not much. That feeling of ownership, it is not so strongly represented. Many men think, my women, my property, put there for my use. Women, more emotional beings, tend to look at things in terms of love or being/falling in love. We see a couple and think of love, the average man sees a couple and thinks of sex. The fact that a women in an IR relationship, to them, has already rejected them spurs them to anger, one less women they have the potential to mate with. While a women doesn't see it as a personal rejection of her, she sees it as a loving relationship and doesn't view it as a personal attack.

I don't know how on point I am on this one or if this thought has any real validity. It just has been my experience from being around various males, their views on women they see with another guy, usually some sort of sexual comment is made. Conversely, while in the company of women I have rarely if ever had the same experience, usually it's "Isn't that such a cute couple."

What are your thoughts?

By Hectorvelasquez (63.169.132.219) on Friday, March 2, 2001 - 05:10 pm:

"there is a strong undercurrent of white hysteria pertaining to their position in this country."

I can perhaps see this in the white middle class, but I don't really see this in the white elite.

By Hectorvelasquez (63.169.132.219) on Friday, March 2, 2001 - 05:07 pm:

Ishvara, you mention Asian males being portrayed as small and weak. Some have suggested that this is partially the reason why you don't see Asian men with white women. Why is this? Asian women and white men you see everywhere. Do you think that the portrayal in the media of black masculinity and Asian masculinity have anything to do with IR dating?

Also do you think white women feel threatened by the explosion of WM/AF relationships?

By Ishvara (38.163.112.87) on Friday, March 2, 2001 - 12:57 pm:

Perhaps for these reasons, threatened becuase whites feel that blacks might one day gain the upper hand and retribution will be in order, white males fear that black males are more virile, tough, manly and if they gain power the wm will be supplanted as the leader, the ones holding the power will now be their age long enemy. Black males whether right or wrong are usually potrayed as strong, Asian males in comparision are small and weak. Eventhough blacks only makeup 12% of the population there is a strong undercurrent of white hysteria pertaining to their position in this country. Just some random thoughts.

By Wyatt (207.8.207.115) on Friday, March 2, 2001 - 11:14 am:

Ishvara,

Wow, what you wrote was so eloquently put, thank you. I think that we all can learn a great deal from one anothers cultures. It is important to drop the pride thing and gain respect for self and others. Perhaps you are right, I am not sure, about the fact that many whites feel threatened by blacks. Why threatened? We make up 12% of the population and only demand that we be threated equally and fairly in the country in which we have been in as long as any white has been. But threatened, gasp! I would say that they they are less threatened and more hate the fact that we are here. They, do see things about us that are interesting to them, but they don't take in the humanity of the people. This is sad, pathetic and curiously strange. They like many things about the Asian culture(food, art, philosphy), but they also see them as potential love interests and partners. There is something in the minds of whites, which hates anything this dark and I cry just thinking about it.

By Ishvara (38.163.112.56) on Thursday, March 1, 2001 - 10:55 am:

Wyatt,

I agree with you whole heartedly on this one. When I have a child they better have a catagory for them. I think on a deep level maybe many whites feel threatened by blacks but admire them at the same time hence the adopting of styles but the rejection of the people, I could be way off base. I have always loved and admired black peoples style, grace and fortitude of spirit under severe distress. To me they are truly a heroic people. To have gone through such degradation and splintering of family and life and to still come through, not only prevail but triumph, this is such a beautiful illustration of the human spirit.

By Wyatt (207.8.207.9) on Thursday, March 1, 2001 - 10:02 am:

Roberto,

I am glad to see that white America are opening up to black culture a little more. Hopefully in another 100 years, we will be seen as equals. It is funny how the superficial things such as hair, music, food, talk and dress is so important for whites to adopt, yet to accept us as marriage partners, next door neigbors, family members, President, diners, club members, drivers on the highway, just regular folk, is still so hard for the American people. If the culture is interesting enough, why are the people?

Racism still prevails in the popular life of the citizenry here and hate is alive and well. In fact, interracial marriages between black men and white women are down for the first time since the 1960's. Also, for our children. While white America seems to be opening up to dreads, afros and the like, why is it that Multiracial and Biracial children still don't have their category represented on birth certificates, census and school forms. This is more important than any hair style.

By Anon2000 (207.218.73.42) on Wednesday, February 28, 2001 - 10:28 pm:

i'll tell you why ONE ww likes dreadlocks, they're SEXY! i'm not one for the "clean cut look" myself. long hair has always been more of a preference for me, ever since a teen. for me, the MAIN reason i love locks is their NATURALNESS. i'm a sucker for natural. men with locks also seem more manly and self confident too, jmo.

i guess it's kind of like men who prefer women with long hair. answer me that one, roberto.

By Roberto (205.188.197.176) on Wednesday, February 28, 2001 - 08:41 pm:

Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan, wrote an interesting article in the Baltimore Sun, "Long Locks for Men", about the new trend across America of men and women of all races adopting the black Hip Hop hairstyles of Afros, Dreadlocks, and Cornrows. Group members like Justin Timberlake of 'N Sync's, and individual performers like Tom Cruise are sporting the hip hop look. Tan reported that in Hollywood, and New York, hair stylists are saying that "you do not have to be an African American to sport these styles". Beverly Hills hair stylist, Enzo Anggileri said it best in the article, " We live in a society now where people are more and more open, and men are just willing to try new things, to not be afraid. We get tired of things, and we want to experiment, and it's human nature to take things and revisit and revise". There is an increased interest on the Afros and Cornrows being worn by other groups across the nation. "The Backstreet Boys are now sporting tresses like New York Knick Latrell Sprewell who has women swooning over him", said Tan. Let it be said, history has shown that blacks have always had an effect on the trends and fads in this country's history, but its played down like the "Dizzy Gillespie Look" of the fifties in Jazz that swept the nation, but he never got credit for it. So what else is new. I still cannot figure it out why do so many white women like the dreadlock look? ~ Roberto