In your search for love many of you have gone through experiences that have made you stronger and wiser. These wisdoms could be of help to those who are struggling with similar situations. Are any of you willing to share your thoughts on the following questions? Does time really help you forget the one you've loved more than anyone else...do you ever get over it? What method of thought can one use not to become involved in future relationships that could lead to heartbreak? How do you know for sure that he/she is right for you? Thanks! ~ Ladylily

By Doveone (63.28.239.217) on Wednesday, June 20, 2001 - 08:01 pm:

Ishvara:

Your kind, encouraging words touched my heart deeply. Thank you so very much.


doveone

By Kngdavid (150.201.25.188) on Wednesday, June 20, 2001 - 01:53 am:

True love can never be based completely in a single moment of emotion. It has to be a decision born from devoted commitment; because you believe that person is worthy, while you struggle to become worthy of them. The past abuses and exploitations that have plagued our society foster an atomistic attitude of selfishness in even in this most intimate area. I'm always exposed to the concept of constantly taking from one's partner; taking and using as much as possible while trying to protect yourself from the vulnerabilities of the "dating scene". Two people must commit to serve each other; mutually esteeming the other's desires above your own.
Our society still does not seem to understand that no feeling of fickle infatuation can ever last, that no relationship can ever be built upon our impulses. I'm convinced that the absolute joy so many search for can only be found in the midst of a commitment that has withstood trials and tribulations, as well as moments of waning desire.
Our popular culture exhibits an ever-increasing expectation for us to abandon partners on a whim to make sure we "find ourselves", but when we flee to escape the "confinement" of a committed relationship, often times we run away from the very thing we are seeking most ardently.

By the way, I agree totally with Wyatt, and understand completely. Smart chicks rule! (so to speak)

By Ishvara (208.37.104.83) on Friday, June 15, 2001 - 08:11 pm:

Doveone if you are talking about yourself I sense your sadness and it makes my heart hurt. I hope that you find peace and one who can return the love you have to give. Sometimes, people do love another their whole lives wothout that person ever responding and they are satisfied with that, to me the situation as I said makes me ache, always the romantic, I like to think that happiness in love will be yours.

By Doveone (63.25.185.5) on Thursday, June 14, 2001 - 10:08 pm:

I have heard it said that true love only exists when two people love each other mutually. I know for a fact that one person can have true love for another even though there is no hope of ever having their love returned.

By Wyatt (63.38.204.211) on Monday, April 16, 2001 - 07:51 pm:

Alot of the smart guys out there have retreated to there careers, married a real nice gal or is working to make the world a better place.
I too have watched as the smart and nice women have become extinct with the rise of globalizatin and materialism. They all seem to dress alike and act as if a cell phone and an SUV are the most important things in life. Going to University in the 80's and loving every minute of my time there, I remember the most intelligent women--in film analysis class, in the feminist alliance organization, speaking out against apartheid and racism, wanting to work for the Catholic Worker or become a peace corp worker in Central America. I miss the sweet, open mindedness and open hearted views f the world by beautiful midwestern women from Minnesota and Wisconsin, who came east to attend a progressive Ivy League school. They were adventurous, a bit innocent and idealistic and I loved that. I would take crazy classes and study like a maniac just to meet coeds with brains. All my guy friends and I were brainy girl crazy. We didn't care if they were blondes or brunettes, thin or heavy, just so they had smarts. Just so we could have a conversation about articles in the New York Times over bagels and esspresso. Just so we could talk about semiotics and The Smiths. Just to travel with a beautiful Graduate Fellow to Amsterdam to write a Master's thesis, go to jazz clubs, dance until dawn, ride motorbikes through Holland. Oh my, I am drifting with ecstasy. What was the question?
Sure we men are still here, and we miss you all too. Smart is not the same as successful. Today, people want to get rich and yet they are not that smart or interesting to talk to. Give me brains over bucks any day.

And bring on the old romance, that is dead today.

By Frangiapani (203.54.43.85) on Monday, April 16, 2001 - 02:36 am:

Aquarian...
True Love exists, I have found when I least expect it, I find it. Do you find that happens to you?

By Aquarian_charm (64.156.96.223) on Monday, April 16, 2001 - 12:47 am:

Being that I was heavily influenced by the 80's, I had a touch of the "superwoman" complex, women did it all. They were smart, successful and sexy. When did the smart and successful thing become blaze? So here we are treading into the 21st century and it seems that women have yet again been reduced to looks-only.

Where are all the smart, funny loving guys gone? You know the men appreciate a smart and articulate woman. Are there any left over for me?

Is it possible to use up all that magic we had when we were younger when the possibilities seemed endless.

I really miss being in love, pure love that is; You remember your first love? Where there was no doubts, no history just the discovery of each other. It was simply pure joy.

I miss the Sunday breakfasts and grocery shopping together. Mostly I miss that touch that only a man can give.

Anyone else feeling a bit left out?