Modulis:

Watch it brother. The black community is not known for its free thinking. You keep thinking and talking like that you will be called a sellout, a Uncle Tom, and The Man's Lap Dog just because, you tell the truth. Watch your back. ~ Roberto

By Anon2000 (207.218.73.80) on Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 11:03 pm:

modulis, calculate in the number of bm who abuse their wives, who then leave them to be single mothers...

By Sn00kette (63.253.73.114) on Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 10:52 pm:

Modulis:
I am 24yo and have been dating a black man for 6 1/2 years. He never knew his father, I think he left his mother before he was born. She did marry him though. He had 4 older brothers (one died last year). Paul, the one that died, had the same father as my man. I think two of his oldest brothers had the same father and another one had another father. His mother has been married to at least two men that I know of and they all left her. According to my man, his mother wasn't all too smart upstairs. Whatever that means? They all were on welfare. He is a good man though, has two jobs and works 7 days a week most of the time. He has no kids and we are engaged. We are planning to marry next year after May (when I fininsh up college). My biggest fear is that one day he'll become tired of me, of us, and leave me. He swears up and down that he will never ever be like his father because he knows all of the hard times and struggling his mother went through to raise her 5 boys. She had help. She lived with her sister, who married and her brother. They all raised each other in a 3 story house in a low income area. One of his brothers is gay. Three of his brothers married and of them 2 are divorced. Only one is still married, he has two children and has been married for like 20 years or so. My man is 49 and his brother that is married is like 55 or something. He is not close to any of his brothers. One lives nearby that he hardly sees, one died, and nobody knows what happened to the other 2. He used to live in Cali with one of his older brothers 12 years ago. Now there's no sign of him, he doesn't call the homestead anymore , he doesn't write anymore. Noboby knows anything. His oldest brother left everybody when he was 18 and nobody heard anything about him.
With this family history I am a little nervous marrying him. But, we have been through a real lot and he hasn't left me yet, nor I him. I truly believe he is my soulmate and we are best of friends, which is very important. I feel that if he was going to leave me, he would have done it by now and not committed fully to me. I have faith, trust, and nothing but complete love for him. I know he feels the same for me. I still have my doubts though... Is this wrong for me?
Best Regards,
Snookssss

By Modulis (216.249.83.196) on Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 09:13 pm:

I don't know about some of you, but I am finding it very disturbing that many women that are involved with black or have recently been(no matter what race) end up being single mothers. What the @#$! is going on? I hate saying it, but I'm willing to bet that one of the main reasons many non-black parents hate the idea of thier daughter dating a black man is that they think they will end up pregnant with no father around for the kids. Most black kids I know have no father around, and it seems the more I read on, the more I am finding out that many white women IR -involved with black men are often left raising kids by themselves too. What is going on here in black America? How will black men ever overcome these perceptions that we are not good long-term relationship material? You know who really gets hurt? It's the decent black men that do live their lives right, but people assume they are "dogz" based on the statistics, stereotypes, music culture and slang. I find it disappointing that when you see these personal ads, it is more likely that a woman will be looking for a black man for a night of wild sex than someone who will be long-term material. I'm absolutely sick of having to carry the weight of all these sexualized perceptions of the black male. Sorry if this sounds like a rant, it's just been on my mind lately.