Seeing an Ex

My ex boyfriend and I decided when we split up to try to be friends. We talk on the phone a couple times a week. I feel confident that I am over him. This is the first time that I have tried to remain friends with an ex. We have only been split up a couple of months and I am seeing someone else and he is playing the field. Anyhow, he called me last night and wants to get together for lunch tomorrow as friends. I said okay, but I am not sure what if anything his motivation is. Thoughts?

 

You already know, you see that hesitation, "I said okay, but I am not sure what if anything his motivation is. Thoughts?". You know at the very least he's going to flirt with you a bit. The only reason to stay friends in my eyes is to maintain some type of contact to ensure you have that "option" in the future....i'm sure you both already had e ough friends from the get go....I think you want the lunch though, because a part if you wants to see if he still wants you...tell me if I'm wrong :smt102

 

I thought about what you said. My motivation I truly feel is that I want to be mature. This was the first relationship that did not end with the "I hate you, you need to not exist" factor on either person's part. We both agreed that we simply did not have what it took with each other to go any further. Personally, I think he is a good person who I enjoyed having in my life, but I am not longer interested in being in an intimate relationship with him. Whether he is still insterested in me in that regard does not matter, because it won't happen. I have done the make up break up in the past and it was an unhealthy pattern. I have spent a lot of time the past year decluttering my mind and forgiving and making amends, so for me my motivation is to continue THAT pattern as it is healthy and has made me happy.

Also, we tend to run into each other enough and have mutual friends, where it would be nice if we could be amiciable with each other.

 

Well there you have it, even if he does have an "ulterior motive," you said yourself, you wouldn't be going for it, so at the end of the day it doesn't even matter what he could be up to. Just to indulge you though, we figured it out; he could be trying to revisit those days where he would place his hand on the small of your back and pull you against him for a long embrace that might lead to a deep sensual tounge wrestle. Where he then moves his hands down to firmly grab some of your lucious white booty meat in his right palm and left palm, to which you respond with return vigor by grinding onto his dick, in hopes that he will boost you up for a mick cowgirl ride/vigorous dry hump. Just when you think he can't breath anymore with your tounge dancing in his mouth, he pulls back to give you that "I'm going to break you off some" look...you know that look, jump down in excited anticipation...he quickly spins you around, bends you over the perfectly postioned couch arm and swiftly peels your tights off....anyway, you get the picture right...?

 

You should write this professionally. . But somehow I have a feeling that will not happen at my local chili's. LOL

 

Basically you want to think about the character flaws you found that contributed to the breakup and ask yourself if any of these flaws effect friendship.

 

I did agree. I think I might want to bring a friend with me. maybe I should just come out and ask him why he wants to meet in the first place. We were always honest with each other.

 

What basically ended the relationship was that he was being faithful to keep me, not because he wanted to be. I wanted to be with someone who is faithful because that is what they want for themselves, not merelt to keep me around. I'm not sure how of if that would impact a friendship. Like I said previously, I have no desire to become intimate with him.

 

I am with the others on the thought that if you have a nagging doubt you more or less have the feeling this won't work well. Your conscience usually alerts you and whether you listen is another matter. How does your current guy feel about this friendship?

 

Hmm..lot of missing information for outsiders like us to make any kind of judgement.
I will say that the motive for his wanting to keep you is a very important factor. It could be anything from genuine love and protection to something devious or controlling in nature.

 

I have yet to discuss it with him to be honest. Upon reading what you guys have writtne, I am now thinking I need to postpone this lunch thing indefinitely. The main reason that I was up for it is because he and my new guy have several mutual acquaintances(yeah despite its size it seems like everyone in boston knows everyone else, even if they live in different parts of the city) and that I did not want any akwardness when we run into each other.

 

Not gonna lie...I laughed :lol:

 

What's up with you and the funky pix? LOL

 

Im a guy and I can say the following:

1) you already know what he wants...he want you as a booty buddy. thats right a booty buddy. he wants you to be the pussy in the glass for emergency. you know

"In CASE of HORNINESS (the urge to masturbate) pull lever and break glass then proceed to get rocks off.

2) you broke up for a reason. stick to it unless YOU made the error.

3) you cant be friends with an ex lover...that is like giving money to a crackhead expecting the money to still be there when you get back from the store.