Your Worst Experience of Racism for IR Dating

This thread is for you all to post what was the worst, meanest, most embarrassing or most memorable experience you had of someone or a group of people insulting you or saying or doing something racially related because they saw you with your IR b/f or g/f or knew you were in an IR relationship. I don't mean mean stares from strangers, but really bad stuff....

Were you and your lover walking down the street and had a group of strangers start following you and attack you? Verbally? Physically?

Were you and your lover somewhere and had people throw things at you or say mean racist names?

Did a policeman or other authority figure harass you in some way because they saw you were with someone of a different race?

Did the parents or family of the person you are/were dating insult you or argue with you or say anything to hurt you, your lover, or damage the relationship?

Did a waiter/waitress, or other servant of some sort refuse to serve you or give mean remarks or mean looks because you were sitting with someone of a different race?
.....................................................................................................

For me, I have had quite a few, and some strange ones at that....

1. Once in my junior year of high school, I was dating this Italian girl named Jenna and her friends did not approve and neither did mine. Even though it was a very racially diverse school (about one third black, one third white, one third Hispanic), interracial dating was seen as an unwritten No No. One day we were sitting in the auditorium for some announcement or something and someone taps me on the shoulder from behind and passes to me a Polaroid picture. The picture was of a black man holding a very light skinned baby. On the back, the words written were "Oh Shit, the nigger got Jenna pregnant" or something. I looked back but could not see who passed it to me. The person who gave it to me that was sitting right behind me said they did not know who gave it to them? I never found out who did it....

2. Another time in high school, while I was dating that same girl...her cousin (a very buff white kid who was on the football team with me and I KNEW hated my guts) tried to take me outside and fight me if I don't leave her alone. Luckily my friend Stephanie (a cute white girl who was one of my best friends in high school) came out there and told him to leave me alone.

3. During high school again, one day I was at my football locker in the locker room and one of the white kids on the team who loved to pull pranks put a doozy on me. I went to my locker and found this wet white tissue with some red marks on it. I was wondering what it was and then when everyone saw me holding it they all started laughing. I was like, whats so funny? And he says to me that's your girl's used tampon!!!! I threw that shit away and washed my hands so fast! Apparently he snuck into the girls' locker room (she was a soccer player) and stole it somehow.

4. Once in college, on the way to school my car broke down. I had to park it across the street from the college and walk all the way into the school (its a far walk. I had to park on the side of a very big busy road where you are not even allowed to park on, then walk across it, walk through a large high school parking lot, then my college's large parking lot, then the front lawn area of my college which is also huge, JUST TO GET to my school's building!). So anyways, I knew this hot blonde Polish girl named Ivanna who could be Anna Kournikova's twin sister and she was in my math class. I asked her to give me a ride and get a toe truck. When we got there the white guy there was like, "what kind of car is it?" and i told him. Then he goes "Oh, i figured you would've had something nicer since you got you a little white girl." Then he tells her to get herself a white boy. She laughs and says to me, "he thinks we are dating". I told her just to keep quiet. Once they were able to give me a ride, she left.

5. This past Thanksgiving, I spent it with a blonde Italian girl named Julia I go to college with and her parents at a restaurant. After the meal, we were on our way out and getting our coats by the door and a few people were ahead of us and the restaurant worker that seats people once you get in was telling each group of people "Happy Thanksgiving" as they left. When me and her got there, he completely ignored us and didn't even hold the door open. Julia said, "what an asshole".

6. When I went to Atlanta this past June to see my now ex-girlfriend Kristen (who I was with for 3 years, my longest relationship), we went to a diner to eat. While Kristen sat at the table while I parked the car, afterwards I walked in and I saw the waitress (she was white) say to Kristen "I'll be right with you". Then I sat with Kristen at the table and I noticed that same waitress glance at us and give a mean look. I see her talking to another waiter and tells him to serve us. He ended up serving us. When we were done, I paid the bill and she was the one working the cash register and she tells Kristen "have a nice day" but doesn't even make eye contact with me or say a word.

7. This past August I went to chill at this girl Tessa's house and technically I wasn't supposed to be over there because she was grounded and couldn't have friends over. BUT, she recently had a white guy friend over and her older brother didn't say nothing to her parents. So me and her are chillin, cuddling on the couch watching HITCH on DVD and he sees me and goes straight for the phone to call her mom. She got in MORE trouble but I stayed a little longer and then left after the movie was done. She was so pissed at him and she told me he don't like when she fucks wit black guys (which is pretty much all she dates). I knew he was racist when I walked by his bedroom and heard him blasting some rock music from a heavy metal band I know to be racist called OTEP. (im guessing he didn't even know I knew about rock music).


So, what are your experiences???

 

I've never experienced anything bad apart from looks on the street from strangers. I've only had two proper boyfriends who were black, in one case all his friends were always friendly to me and vice versa and the same in this case, my fella's friends have been incredibly welcoming to me. The same for his family: his sister was at first wary in getting to know me, but she has warmed up now, and the rest of his family were friendly from the start. My family are also very liberal in their approach to the world and would never dream of even pointing out that either he, or my previous (Jamaican) boyfriend was a different colour than them. :lol: I'm really proud of them for their tolerance but then my mum dated a few African and Jamaican men in her past too!

I know I've been lucky and many in the world have a more small-minded view but it's simply not acceptable here for strangers to come out and make racist comments, including about interracial relationships. On the bus old people particularly will stare and frown but who gives a toss about a few old codgers?

 

I forgot Mistress B, where do you live again?

 

Laaaaaaahndon, UK. And in Hackney, no less, one of the most racially diverse areas of the city.

 

1. Good thread idea.

2. Son-of-a-bitch, Pey. This explains a lot of what I was wondering. Sorry I made fun of you a few times, but I couldn't help it. :lol:

3. Most of what I've gotten was the mean stares and rumors from black women, white men, and even some white women, but that's it. I've had white women approach me in a friendly and flirtatious manner in front of a bunch of other white people (men and women) engaging me in a conversation before, so I guess it depends on where you are and who you run into, huh?

Sadly, none of them had the guts to actually come out with what they really wanted, and to all those who may be wondering, no, not all of them were only interested in sex with me. Not all, that is.

4. With all the life encounters I've had with many different folks of all demographics, plus the problems of the world which currently plague mankind today like racism, technically, nothing really ever surprises me at all.

 

Cool, I hear London and Europe is very cool with IR dating. I have a cousin and she married a white man and they live in England. Sometimes I wish I lived over there. I do have SOME family over there. I just love New York and American too much. NYC is where I was born and raised and I love it here. I just wish it a little more accepting of IR dating. For one of the most racially diverse cities in the WORLD, there is still alot of old school people here still clinging to the old times but there are alot of good people here too.

I spent thanksgiving with this white girl I was really into named Julia and we went to a restaurant. I went in expecting them to be a little hesitant toward me but her mom was AMAZINGLY nice to me! Her step dad was a little cold to me at first but by the end of the evening I think he liked me.

All those experiences I mentioned in the first post hurt me slightly but not alot because I more so felt sorry for those people and how close minded they were. Now if someone were to insult me to MY FACE in any way, then I would have to kick some butt. Luckily that hasn't happened...yet.

 

Never had any overt experiences of racism while dating IR.

 

I live in Columbia,SC...which is a pretty liberal city to be in the south, but nevertheless, Its SOUTH CAROLINA. Anyway, I've had plenty of little stories but I can't actually recall them now. I'll throw a couple out:

1. Me and my girlfriend Jewel went to a Peach Festival in Gilbert SC last summer. I went there before with a friend(white) when I was younger, but i never realized Gilbert was such a segregated racist town. Anyway, besides from all the stares, teenagers throwing those little popper things at our feet when we weren't looking, it wasn't too too bad. Oh yea...while we were walking to a concession stand, 2 kids(they must've been 7-10) and their father were riding by on a gold cart and they all yell out "OREO"

2. Me and my girlfriend have had constant problem with her family members accepting me, but that's a whole other thread itself.

3. I've been thrown in jail overnight on false charges in Cayce(a sub-city of Columbia) for underage drinking. They dropped the charges though but made us stay there over night. Oh yea, there were 3 white girls there and just me and my black friend. Only my friend and I went to jail. No fingerprinting or breathalizer or any proof.

 

I've only really had to deal with police once. But I have a really good lawyer and if any police want to mess with me they will pay me so much money. That their uniforms would have to be t shirts in crayon. I've had a few problems down here in Louisiana but nothing too much out of line. The most I have dealt with were some skinheads in Oklahoma but if they want to act crazy,I have a concealed weapons permit.

 

stunt, you are from SC, me too. i live up north but my home is on the carolina coast. I lived in columbia when i was a kid.


jxsilicon, i am with you on the concealed weapon permit

 

I've never had any physical altercations over being with a white woman but I do get those stares sometimes. I have a choice few restaurants that I go to in New York which are foreign owned or ran so when I go on a date I would have less chance of dealing with racist waitress' and/or managers. Fortunately, I'm not too crazy about american cuisine anyway.

As far as people are concerned, I just ignore them and revel in the fact that they are expending so much energy brow beating us and waiting for us to look at them so they can give us that condescending look of dis-approval.

Lately, I've been thinking about visiting Seattle. Has anyone ever lived there? I here that it is ripe for interracial relationships.

 

i have lived in Portland just south of Seattle, It is great but if you think you wont go in American cuisine restaurants in New York city that are very comfortable, you will not like Seattle which has alot more american places and people stare more all over the northwest, which white supremacist have called their Aryan homeland

 

Yeah, there's Aryan homeland's all over this country. In the Southwest, Orange County, California has their own Aryan homeland.

Ever noticed how there's NO black people in the the show The O.C.??

 

I saw one once, but he was type-casted as a fireman.

 

Diamond I lived in the Seattle area for six years man,It is great for IR dating and as a plus Canada is just 3 hours away and is great for Ir also.

 

I personally have never had a bad experience dating IR. No racism, nothing. If anything, people are nicer 'cause they don't want to appear racist at all. All my ex-GFs moms always liked me, and a couple used to look at me like they wanted to date me themselves! I used to get the ol' stare-down from sistas, too, but ever since Eminem came out and they decided white boys aren't corny anymore, they're going for theirs, dating white boys, and not looking my way at all.

 

Some racist hate group operating at my university (college) plasted posters with a hideous caricature of an African saying "don't have sex with this person, they have AIDS". They were caught and deported back to where they came from..France and Germany. There is racism in Australia but I was happy they weren't fellow Australians.

Usually its just a subtle aggression that I experience, as well as a million ignorant comments. So many ignorant comments! Especially since my man is African.

One particularly charming fuckwit called my man a "monkey" and "cocky nigger" when he casually came up to me, protectively I guess, when the guy tried to hit on me in a really sleazy manner

Also, a woman from his country who has a few major issues (partly because her father was high up in the secret police in his country, so she is used to people being afraid of her..which they aren't here, so many of her African and Aussie peers alike won't put up with her issues, which she hates!!) used to try and get me to say things/or say abusive things to me in his native language--- not realising I am fairly fluent in it! Ha, ha. THat was a little embarressing for her.

Hmm, those stories make me a little angry but it doesn't bother me personally anymore, just makes me sad people can be so pathetic!

Most of the time I don't have any trouble, though sometimes I get the feeling people might stare for a little longer, but I don't notice that anymore.

 

Hhmm I dont have anything bad really. Unless somebody has said things not to me.
My stepbrother is popular though in school and sports. So in my life being with him always was with "the cool crowd" :roll: which means if people had racism to me then I have never heard it.

 

None really here. Just a few stares. Bump to a good topic.

 

I've had a few ignorant comments, but nothing worse. People can stare at me all they want, it doesn't affect me; I get it anyway whether I'm with a BM or not. :lol: