Cold Approaching women

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by qwils86, Jun 20, 2014.

  1. Cherok33

    Cherok33 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad I'm not man...

    Yall make it sound so complicated to just have an impromptu conversation with a pretty lady in a grocery check out line.

    Just be friendly, smile and introduce yourself. Tell her you think she is a pretty lady and she caught your eye. Have a nice day today...

    If she's interested, she'll continue engaging in conversation with you.

    Yall make it sound like rocket science...
     
  2. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    Again spoken like someone who never had to do it
     
  3. goodlove

    goodlove New Member

    lol......hate to sound mean but it is difficult.

    you would be suprise how difficult it is to approach a person you dont know at all and start a convo that wil lead to a date.

    its easier for a woman to get a date than a man.
     
  4. Cherok33

    Cherok33 Well-Known Member

    I have done it once.

    I guess I'm just speaking from my own experiences, obviously the other way around, on the receiving end.

    I appreciate a gentleman, first and foremost. Not overly aggressive, but friendly and welcoming. If he's shaking nervously in his shoes, I appreciate that vulnerability. It's an honest place and I guess I just take the fact that I don't have to approach men for granted.

    Don't make it harder than it has to be. Be friendly and take a chance allowing her to open up to you.

    If it's meant for you, it will happen. Just don't force it.
     
  5. Cherok33

    Cherok33 Well-Known Member

    You are right. Just be yourself and hope for the best. I don't have any experience being a man so can only tell you how you are perceived.
     
  6. goodlove

    goodlove New Member

    exactly...perception.

    the problem is that some guys are inexperienced at it or not good at it.

    guys should sit down and encourage each other and advice each other on succesful strategies BUT no one shouldnt do anything thats not fitting for them.
     
  7. goodlove

    goodlove New Member

    in the end you are right hope for the best.

    just dont be yourself be a confident fun person.
     
  8. fantasyfangrl

    fantasyfangrl New Member

    No, be yourself so we can see what kind of a person you are but try to be confident (if "you" can)
     
  9. goodlove

    goodlove New Member

    true true
     
  10. RaiderLL

    RaiderLL Well-Known Member

    Honestly I would've never guessed how hard y'all think it is. I see it go down almost daily and it always looks so very casual and comfortable...I never would've known that its that uncomfortable for you guys! Some of y'all make it look effortless...and that makes me even more likely to engage back because there's nothing awkward about it, it's just a friendly conversation! I've said it a thousand times...I'm glad I'm a woman lol. We don't have to do shit to meet people :p
     
  11. goodlove

    goodlove New Member

    ooooh. i think its harder for a women. you guys have to stay clear of the pretenders, busters and creeps.
     
  12. RaiderLL

    RaiderLL Well-Known Member

    Lol we're used to that though. Most women can see right through the bullshit so it takes me all of a few seconds to say next! I'd rather have 10 guys to choose from and work to weed out the idiots than have to be the one approaching and getting rejected lol. Women don't have to do any of the leg work, that's what I meant.
     
  13. andreboba

    andreboba Well-Known Member

    LOL. I think a big part of it that men are EXTREMELY visual when it comes to women, and it's not just a woman's face that can set a man off.
    It's every inch of her body that can make a man feel like he's not totally in control of his game.

    A man for the most part can accurately figure out what a woman looks like naked when she's wearing just a blouse and an appropriate thigh length skirt. Add in a female who's got her makeup on point, showing a bit of cleavage and her legs are right and I just don't think most women have a clear understanding of how oppressive the male libido can be.

    But in modern post-industrial society a man has to CONTROL and harness all that sexual stimuli and learn to play the mating game; get a woman to the point where she CHOOSES you.

    When I was younger it was more of a challenge, but even still the first time I see a woman I find "attractive" my skin still gets that little electric charge and I can feel my heart beat.

    I've just learned to develop more effective coping skills.lol

    I know some dudes seem to have been born with the ability not to give a fuck when they approach a woman no matter what happens, so the idea of rejection doesn't bother them because it's not on their radar.

    But for most dudes learning to process the concept of rejection is a part of the maturation of becoming an adult.
     
  14. goodlove

    goodlove New Member

    yeah...i got you..it is tuff but guys need to toughen up and dont take it so hard. when i started out....whew...it was ruff. my ego was in the toilet. lol

    i think the hardest thing for a dude is reading if a woman is flirting with you or just being friendly.
     
  15. andreboba

    andreboba Well-Known Member

    LOL. I still have that problem.:p
     
  16. Cherok33

    Cherok33 Well-Known Member

    Well I guess its a good thing I'm a woman :smt061

    I had no idea men were so visual. I will pay better attention now just to make my own observations about men. I mean, honestly... I've had a man approach me in the grocery store while I was on the phone no less, just to pay me a compliment. Made me smile.

    Maybe because he didn't appear to have any ulterior motive, I didn't have to say anything more than thank you...
     
  17. andreboba

    andreboba Well-Known Member

    That guy saw a whole lot of 'pretty' Cherok33 and instinctively it made him approach.

    It happens.

    The guy may not have been expecting anything to happen in that moment, BUT.....if you'd offered him your number and wanted to get together for drinks later, it was on.:smt118

    I used to tell this woman I dated that whenever she was in the mood, call me. Approach me. Let me know!!! No matter what.

    She thought it was odd and funny and asked are you always down for sex??:smt108

    I told her unless we just finished or we were having sex 3-5 times a day, then YES. Basically.

    Most guys don't need a lot of stimulation of motivation to be sexually in the moment because hormonally and mentally that's how we're wired.

    Whereas a woman generally has to be in the right mood to be intimate, all a woman has to do is let me watch her undress down to skin.:smt110
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2014
  18. RaiderLL

    RaiderLL Well-Known Member

    Good man ;)

    Mentally/hormonally I must be wired like a man. Mad, sad, frustrated, stressed, happy, morning, noon, night, indoors, outdoors, upstairs, downstairs...I'm ready lol. Daily sex is the minimum...give it to me more than just daily and I'm golden :smt118
     
  19. goodlove

    goodlove New Member

    yeah me too
     
  20. 4north1side2

    4north1side2 Well-Known Member







    lol
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2014

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