random relationship discussions

This thread allows you to discuss various topics in regards to relationships....1st on deck a letter from dear abby


DEAR ABBY: I am 18 and live with my parents. I have a part-time job and I also attend a local university. My parents and I have always gotten along, and I have been obedient and respectful of their rules.

I have suffered from depression for years, but now I have finally met someone who makes me happy and feel like I am worth something. Abby, he is of a different race. This doesn't mean anything to me. I know he's a great guy and I really like him. The problem is, my parents are very racist.

They have done so much for me that I feel guilty dating someone they don't approve of. They have told me to never date someone like that. I am torn and ashamed of them, and I don't know what to do.

How do I break it to them? Am I wrong for being with a genuine, amazing guy who finally makes me happy? -- FINALLY MET SOMEONE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FINALLY MET SOMEONE: I'm glad you are finally feeling better about yourself as a person, but before discussing this with your parents, it would be better if you separate the issues of your chronic depression and your feelings for this young man.

If this relationship were to end for some reason, would you cycle back down? If your parents react badly -- as they may -- would you be able to live independently? Are your parents capable of moderating their attitude about people of a different race? And because racism can be universal, how does his family feel about you?

Please consider these questions carefully, because until you have the answers and are prepared to be out on your own, I don't think you should make any announcements.

 

http://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fi...that-do-not-apply-anymore.html/?ref=YF&tpl=op

Dating that dont apply anymore?

What are yoyr datibg rules that u stick too and ones you disregard

 

As per the article:

1. Wait 48 hours to return a phone call

2. Play hard to get

3. Men should pay for all dates

4. Dates should only take place on Friday or Saturday night

5. There is only one right person for you

 

I think the Dear Abby advice was good. The girl needs to deal with her issues independent of the relationship otherwise it's just going to be a disaster.

On the other....

I don't think there are really any rules that are set in stone any longer when it comes to dating.

 

The dear abby to me was spot on.
Yeah those dating rules are very dated

 

I agree. Those rules sound very pre-Mad Men era.

 

She fell in love with a prisoner and helped them escaped.....

https://www.yahoo.com/health/what-causes-some-people-to-fall-in-love-with-122772638197.html


What does it say about women and men and the dating theory that women like bad boys vrrsus nice guys?

 

There are definitely women who seek out and practically crave bad boys. There are also hoards of women that are just so lonely/naive/easily manipulated that they become (and allow themselves to be) the perfect bait for these prisoners. There seriously needs to be better screening of prison staff because this seems to happen waaay too often. Could these women fall in love and almost see these relationships as "workplace romances"...failing to respect the fact that they're in love with a PRISONER?? I'm not sure how much "love" can blind a person but these stories really should be studied further with the greater goal of prevention in mind. There's a level of common sense that lacks in these women which should be better surveyed before hire. Not sure how to do that or what sort of entrance exams (physical/mental) currently exist, but something ain't workin lol.

 

Getting involved with prisoners is way beyond the typical bad boy interest.

The typical bad boy thing is more that they find them exciting.

I actually find the bad boy thing boring and very predictable. They don't do what they say they are going to do, it's a lot of hype and no real substance. I much prefer a kind man who's solid.

 

I never respected these "rules" either. Like rule #3: I always try to pay, insist on it especially if at the end of the date I'm thinking "friend zone." I've found with some men doing this sets a precedent with successive dates tho--it's either expected I'll pay every time or we split the check or some other equitable distribution. Which is fine of course. It just takes away from the romance a little -- I don't like to wear the pants every time. Like the time I finally agreed to travel to ATL to meet a guy I'd met online and been talking to for a year. He 'offered' that if I drive all the way to his city to go on a date with him he'll "pay for half of my hotel room." I was like "oh thanks, so you gonna meet me when I'm checking in and go with me to the counter with your credit card and ask the clerk to put half on your card?" lol. I can pay for my room, thanks. I went to ATL eventually, but didn't find time to meet up with him.
I also consistently practice the anti-#5. I know it can take getting to know someone before chemistry ignites. That's why I keep dating several people at a time. I like all the men I continue to see; there's something interesting and attractive and special in each of them. But after investing considerable time and money under the premise that there isn't "just one man for me" I start to think "I have enough friends" ... and end up spending my time and money going out with ... my friends.

 

I'm glad that the article is against all of these, especially 4. People work crazy schedules that don't always lend themselves to having weekends off. And who can pass up margarita Wednesdays? Not me, that's for damn sure.

 

My default position is to pay for the first date even if I'm not really feeling anything. But there have also been times where I've paid for dinner and then she paid for drinks afterwards, or she paid for the next meal that we went out for. Balance is good, otherwise I start to feel less like her date and more like her meal ticket.

 

True. But just for the record: you are a hoe

 

Lol

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043

Just promise me that if you backhand me, you'll at least pick up the first round.

 

Thank the prison industrial complex for this. Using black men in particular and prisoners generally as economic development tools for rural America, where you may not find the most skilled and diverse potential employee pool, can contribute to the hiring of isolated, lonely people.

Lol

 

meet the fockers ?

Girlfriend Expects Fireworks When Her Parents Meet His
Dear Abby By Abigail Van Buren 8 hours ago
DEAR ABBY: I have been with "Tom" for two years, and I suspect that he will be proposing soon. He is 27 and I'm 24. Here's the problem: He wants our parents to meet before he asks.

Abby, I have put this off because I'm sure they will have nothing in common. My parents are small-business owners and conservative. His parents are pot-smoking swingers -- literally.

How do I prepare my parents (and myself) for what I expect to be a tense and uncomfortable meeting? Should I suggest talking points? Should I fill my parents in on what is to come? I want this to go as smoothly as possible. I would appreciate any wisdom you may have. -- NO WORDS ON THE WEST COAST

DEAR NO WORDS: Your dilemma reminds me of the plot from the movie "Meet the Fockers."

I'm sure the one thing your parents will have in common is a desire for you and your boyfriend to be happy together. Building on that, you and Tom should talk to your folks and prepare them for the encounter. Trying to hide or minimize their differences would do no good because they will soon become obvious. Do not waste your time or energy preparing "talking points" for Tom's parents, because if they show up stoned, they probably wouldn't be able to remember them.

 

If I backhand you I'll pick up your whole tab and your co-pay at Charity

 

It's a deal. It's hard to say no to a woman who will let you hold some money for your co-pay. That's the definition of a ride or die chick!

 

Lmao