he has sex with wife and faces jail time.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/15/iowa-lawmaker-sex-abuse-trial/25811919/


this man faces jail time for having sex with wife who has dementia.

they are calling it rape....due to her not being able to consent .

should he get jail time?

 

Well, even a spouse can cry rape because he/she was not interested at the time. Therefor, this act was not wanted because the wife had no idea of what was happening or the fact that she had no idea if she wanted to have sex with her husband. I am of the opinion that the husband should go through marriage counselling and not do time because what happens in the marriage is a spousal privilege. Dementia is difficult to deal with on both fronts.

 

Sex with a spouse who has dementia? I'd have a hard time keeping it up....with all the questions like 'who are you!' and 'where is my husband?!'

 

Well at this point they haven't even proven that he had sex with her. If he did, I think jail time is really stretching things. I really question the charges that were brought and as to whether they are appropriate.

This case is one that brings up all sorts of concerns that we are going to be facing in coming years though with the population aging at a rapid pace. I think this shows that people need to be very clear about their wishes in their AHCDs. So many don't have their final wishes outlined, but even more so don't have things detailed as to what they want if/when they have chronic situations. Many people will be facing dementia (there own or their loved ones) and most are not in a position to deal with what comes with that. Our society certainly is not set up to deal with the issues we are going to be dealing with regarding the aging population.

 

One of the few cases where I would say homeboy would be better off with an escort.

Just stop doing the wife altogether.

 

Time for a divorce.

 

why

i can guess but...

 

Married women with Alzheimer's get sexed I'm sure by their spouses, partly because in a couple of hours she won't remember what happened anyway.

That's such a private matter for a couple anyway I don't think it's anyone's business.

Whether or not a husband is basically pretending to have sex with his senile wife is the least of anyone's problems.

But I do get how the experience could be extremely traumatic for the wife, if she really thought there was a stranger pumping and grinding on top of her.

 

Verdict in. Not guilty.

 

Thanks Bliss!

 

thx

 

Not guilty for having sex with ur spouse who can't give consent/ain't in their right minds?

Let the flood gates open

 

no pun intended right?

 

Not sure how I feel about this one. Dude, should not go to jail but he should receive some kind of counciling or therapy. But, in all do fairness, do we really know all the ends and outs of the case? Maybe, she was her normal self when they had sex? Alzheimer's sufferers can go through times when they can be perfectly normal.

If she testified that she knew what was going on at the time and consented to it, then maybe that's why he was exonerated? Something like this is very, very complicated.

I'm not big on buying sex, but in this case, I think that would be the best thing to do. But, then again, if he considers that cheating, then what?. Some people take their vows very seriously. And if they had an active sex life before her symptoms got bad, this guy could be in for a very tuff time.

I really feel bad for the both of them. Sometimes, I wonder if it isn't better to die when you can no longer think for yourself. Of course, I say that now.,I'm sure I'd feel differently if it were my wife or me in her position.

No easy answers. Just tough decisions all the way around.

 

I believe she died some time ago. There was no testifying from her, she had passed on. Supposedly she would get very excited when they would tell her he was coming to see her and she was always in good spirits and happy when he was there and even after he left.

It is a tough situation all the way around, and one that more and more are going to be faced with in coming years.

Personally, I hate that people are quick to say - he should just go to a prostitute. Part of the story was that she would ask him to "play" and such. Which is not surprising. I've had dementia clients who became very sexually inhibited. Does she not have a right to be with her husband?

 

Supposedly this all started because her roommate said something to the nursing staff about hearing "sex like noises" and that the husband would pull the drape when he came to visit his wife. The roommate's comments are what started the whole chain of events. The staff has to take things seriously and investigate. Of course we don't know everything, but it seems really over board to me. But then I know that different states have all sorts of different laws about marriage, ability to consent, etc.

 

I didnt know the specifics. But, if she wanted it and that's here husband, then you're right, why should they not be able to make love?

Still, sad he had to go through all of that.mas if having a spouse with Alzheimer's , then to lose her, isn't enough.

Poor guy.