50% of wives say husband isn't their best sex partner; 60% of wives would rather read

You make a fair point. I wasn't trying to play down legitimate sexual assault. Men should always keep their hands to themselves. I should have been clearer about that.

I'm just talking about things like those naked celebrity cell phone pics that got released a while back. Some people were going around saying it was like a rape. No, it was a violation of their privacy and the women had every right to be pissed. But, it was most certainly not rape.

 

Oh oh I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to say you was minimizing. I was just adding on to what you are saying.

My bad.

 

Yah I totally get it (again see my disclaimer) I also get how you find it amusing/funny when people make a big deal or go to the whole assumption that gamers must be in a dungeon (basement) never seeing the light of day. I hear it all the time since I still have younger kids and know many parents who are very afraid of their children gaming, as well as all the negative comments about adults gaming. I will often speak up about it and how while they may think it's useless, waste of time, whatever....it's not. I realize it doesn't change many minds, but some of them are very surprised to find out what can come of those gamers when they learn about my oldest.

I also find amusing is that the same people who will go on and on about the evils of gaming are quick to ask my 13 year old to fix or build their computer.

(and yah, I figured the "rape" incident had to be something like that)

 

It's awesome that your son is a game designer. At one point I was tempted to go to Carnegie Mellon for their graduate program in game design.

There is still the possibility of game designing being somewhere in my future, just not yet sure how it's going to fit in. I'm sure the best designers were once avid players that knew what they wanted to see on the market.

Sounds like the 13 year old is on point too. Troubleshooting can be quite satisfying.

 

Ok I get your point I think, I did say the games have their place, not that they are a waste of time, I guess that is how I came across, I have read little bits that some games can actually help the mind, like hand eye coordination and such, so I don't think they are a total waste, guess again, am a little old fashioned. However there are individuals who get addicted to them and it can have a negative affect on them such as their social skills, Or they use video gaming as an escape from reality, disclaimer, I am not saying all gamers do this.

This is what I was more referring to when I said glued to a screen, so going outdoors and playing them do not have to be mutually exclusive. I know there are those who can keep things in perspective and moderation just like anything else.

By the way, I think there is a game or ones like them that simulate driving I would like to try that I think it would be a good complementary tool to driving instruction.

 

Understandable. Any unwanted touch can be seen as sexual assault (has happened to me a number of times). And rape is currently defined as a penetration act, anything else is seen as sexual assault. So, essentially, it makes it harder to convict all of those female rapists who rape, not only men, but women as well.

 

@meowkittenmeow, I hope you dont mind me asking, and apologies if it is upsetting to you, and or if you do not want to answer or discuss I understand,

in my most careful and gentlest way possible to ask, but what happened to you? how did a woman assault you? there were unwanted touches? how so? women raping other women? women raping men?

I genuinely would like to know, I have heard that it is not possible for a woman to assault or rape a man, but it seems there is.

I would also like to know so if I am in a situation where there is a black man, or any man for that matter, that I like or am attracted to, that I conduct myself in a respectful way, and not cross any lines. I would like to know if any touch at all is considered assault. I absolutely do not want to be a rapist or assaulter, when I see a guy I like I may think certain thoughts about him:smt077, but I do not do anything about it unless it is ok.

I had a situation not long ago, I mentioned it a couple of times in other threads, about this guy I liked, and I tried to get near him by sitting next to him, he seemed to be twitchy, then moved away from me. Then on another day, after that instance, I went to my seat in class just keeping to myself, and he was there in a seat next to mine, (I was a little confused initially, since he moved away from me the other day), then I saw a wallwart on the wall next to here he was sitting to charge his laptop, so he was kind of stuck, at least I thought that was why he was in the seat next to me. I then made small talk with him and he seemed friendly then.

Kind of an odd story I know, but in all of my interactions with him, I never, ever touched him, and I would never initiate physical contact with a man no matter how much I liked him, unless I get a clear friendly flirty vibe or signal from him that it is ok.

again, I hope I do not cause undue distress or anger from asking this, but I want to educate myself.

 

I'm going to pass on that. I am not interested in my traumatic experiences being used against me later on in the forum. Have a good one.

 

True true

 

misshyness....I don't pretend to talk for the men. I think we can start with taking a look at things we've experienced, times when maybe we were uncomfortable with men's unwanted attention and so forth. Then we can probably answer many of those questions/concerns ourselves. I don't think there is anything wrong with telling a man you are interested in a clear, direct, polite way and leaving it at that. I know that may seem a bit sterile, but think about when it's a situation where you are the recipient and how you would want to be treated.

I'm a very physical, touchy feely type of person in a very selective way. But I wouldn't touch someone without expressed consent. Maybe that comes from my own experiences of the past and working in and around medicine for most of my life.

Even if I'm really attracted to a man, I wouldn't want him to touch me without my clear consent.

 

Ok fair enough, and I am sorry for bringing it up:freehug:

 

Thank you, this makes sense, simple and direct is best. Sorry to stir any trouble.