Cheaters

Have you ever caught someone cheating? How did you find out?

My ex in Germany cheated on me, to be honest he probably did a few times but I was a bit naive back then... anyhoo I caught him because the "other woman" left her earrings on his nightstand and numbnutz didn't put them away before I came over... yeah that wasn't a fun evening or conversation to have. I just asked him where they came from since they were obviously not mine, he was never a good liar when confronted aggressively, tried to talk himself out of it but he knew I wasn't buying it. We broke up shortly thereafter. Other than that I don't think I was cheated on but who knows.....

 

I've found that when women do that it's their way of marking their territory. She wanted you to know.

But to answer your question - Only when I was in high school.
I overheard a phone call and then I started putting 2 and 2 together which my "friend" tried to tell me was 3 when I knew it was 4.

 

No idea what you are talking about chi!

 

Fortunately, I never experienced it. That must've been real hurtful for you, Chigirl.

 

I caught my ex cheating through a few signs. The last one being a thong that I found. The thing is the girl hadn't worn one for me since before she got preg with our daughter and that was a serious tip off that something is up.

 

My last serious boyfriend 'overlapped' me with his next (current) girlfriend by about a month (ie. they were seeing each other before he thought to break up with me). He didn't tell me but I deduced from a number of things: he had added a new girl on facebook, who he hadn't told me about but he was putting messages on her page quite often (he always used to tell me about all his mates, girls and boys, and what he was up to); he would stay out late when he was going to his "Chinese classes" (they were supposed to last a couple of hours but he would be out until about midnight - i think they met there and he was probably drinking with her afterwards), and he just generally got very evasive about where he was, where before he would have taken me out drinking with all or any of his mates. Girls always know!!

 

You gotta be in a relationship, right?

 

As another member once posted - there is a corner of hell reserved for cheaters. :smt096

 

To the Men and Women, would you be able to forgive and still be with somebody if they not only cheated but had a baby by that person they cheated with?

If so, how would that be too hard for yo to deal with?

If not, what is the reason as to why you would forgive and still be with that person?

And overall do you find it to be the ultimate betrayal?

 

I could forgive them over time, but I could not still be with them . They would have to go!!!! I have a problem with cheating! Absolute deal breaker!

 

i guess it's too late to tell you that I cheated on you, with your sister

 

sorry petty, wasn't my sister-i don't have any sister's!! LOL

 

:shock:

good comeback

lol

 

Good question. I think that it totally depends on the situation and it totally depends on the relationship. I was actually in this situation and I chose to forgive because I loved him and because I understood that my actions partly contributed to the infidelity in the first place. Don't get me wrong, in no way am I saying that it was ALL my fault, but I understand how my actions may have lead him to another woman's bed.

Unfortunately in my case, the situation was VERY complicated and brought on a whack of other problems and I am still living with the fallout from it... but nonetheless, I still chose to forgive. After all, hate only hurts and destroys our lives, not the ones of the people that we cannot forgive.

However, learning to trust again... well, that's a whole other story! Not at all as easy as forgiving!

 

AW HELL TO THE NAW!!!

Even if I tried to forgive, there's no way I could possibly forget (especially with the baby who.....unbeknownst to the poor innocent little thing.....would just serve as a continual and brutal reminder of the betrayal).

So yeah, no matter how much I love her, I'd still drop her like a bad habit...

DC


p.s. - I think the ultimate betrayal would be if she f-cked with someone close to me (friend, family, etc). That right there would be a double-whammy, as I'll have been betrayed by a loved one......in addition to being screwed by the g/f!

 

I agree that forgiving is essential, hate can just tear a person apart. But the forgetting and learning to trust again? Mmm, probably not!! Once that basic trust is gone, I don't think it can ever be re-gained.

 

Would be forgivable, but that would be the end of us together. We can be friends, though. I'm an open person, but If she wasn't getting her needs met by me and didn't trust me enough to let me know so I could correct it then she goes and fucks some other guy and ends up pregnant....

If I wasn't meeting her needs then, how could I meet her needs now? We'd just be wasting each other's time.

And no I don't see it to be the ultimate betrayal. If I'm not meeting her needs, then I'm not meeting her needs. I think it's more an issue of ego than anything else. What would be the ultimate betrayal was if she fucked (not including pregnant) My closest friends or family members...I'd be mad at her, and I'd completely cut it off with the guy. I mean seriously cut it off, like I'll never speak to you again. If your blood, I won't whoop your ass. if your a friend....I'm stomping a mudhole in your ass..point blank period. That's only because these are guys that I'd have trusted with my life, and then they go behind my back and jeopardize our friendship over some pussy, especially if she was some1 I was looking to build a life with. It would have been one thing if they was just feeling each other, in which case I'd have noticed it earlier and cut myself off from her. It's no big deal then, but if they were fucking behind my back, that's some snake shyt and I can't deal with snakes when they are supposed to be my homies.

 

For me the ultimate betrayal would be an ongoing LOVE affair and not just a fuck.

As for the question, it depends. I do not believe cheating is an automatic deal breaker, but it sure is close to one. For me, whether or not the sex produced a child is far less important than the reason behind the sex.

If my partner was in love with another woman, it would be a much more sever threat to me as his partner so that is why it is more sever to me. But then again, an ongoing sexual realtionship is severly disrespectful of me as his partner, so he is treading really thin ice.

 

No, there's is no going back nor should there be. Infidelity runs rampant in the world we live in and it's practically celebrated and accepted by society as a whole. The common man cheats due to a lack of maturity, the common woman cheats when the mental, intimate and physical connection between her and her man cease to exist. Giving credit to a woman's nature, even after those connections with her man have been severed she'll still stay committed for a little while longer. All bets are off though when Dexter St. Jock comes along

FOR ME the ultimate betrayal is giving my pussy away. That's a huge fucking mistake :evil:

Having another man's baby for a lot men could mean finger prints around a woman's throat. That POV may appear cave mannish and barbaric be that's "REAL TALK"

 

when a woman cheats on you in such a derogatory and condenscending manner, theres absolutely no way in HELL that a sane man would stil want her. In fact, her name should be ruined for doing shit like that.

But for guys..,meh..if a guy cheats and has a kid with another woman. Thats HISSSSS problem, and he's only puting himself in a sutiation that would mean "baby mama dramma" in the future, so its omly bad to the extent that he fucked up his own life for no reason. I dont think its THAT bad in relation to the female he cheated on..Woman should know by now that men are dogs...lol..the only man that aint a dog is your brothers and your father.....but thats also quiet debatable,,,cuz we are all dogs......we have our needs.....and reasons....