Have you ever been fetishized or felt like you were being fetishized by a black man or white woman?

"Fetishized" is more of a slang term, so whether or not it's a real word is immaterial. There's also more to it than your typical definition of a sexual fetish when it comes to race or interracial pairings. The biggest issue is that people who "fetishize" people in this sense reduce them to something base and trashy, usually based on degrading and offensive stereotypes and bullshit. In their minds the only possible kind of "attraction" between black men and white women is based on those things, and never on any genuine or serious connection between them. It's a lot more common than people evidently realize, and that kind of crap pops up on this site on a regular basis. It's disturbing to say the least.

A few examples that come to mind (often seen on the site— all trashy and/or offensive):

• The "BBC" fixation. Dudes that show up on here bragging about the size of their dicks (or posting pics of them), and the women who show up announcing that's what they're looking for is downright gross. Some of them even include "BBC" in their users names. SMH Use of that acronym is never a positive sign if the person using it claims to have genuine interest in IR dating; it's a big ass red flag and not a good look by any means. Just an FYI, people with genuine interest should eliminate that crap from their vocabulary if they want to be taken seriously by other genuine people.
• The so-called "Hot Wife"/cuckold couple thing. Many of them also like to throw the "BBC" crap around, and they tend to refer to all black men as "bulls". They automatically assume that a site specifically for BM/WW could only be for that purpose.
• The spade tattoo. Marking your body with an advertisement announcing who you fuck or want to fuck screams "fetishization", point blank.
• People who behave in stereotypical ways in effort to impress or get the attention of someone who is a different race. It's one thing if someone is being who the hell they are, but when a person is putting on an act pretending to be someone they're not, it's something else entirely. They're making fools of themselves, and they're basically mocking whoever it is they think they're acting like.
• Dudes who think dating white women (or other non-black women) elevates their social status somehow. They often use it as a means to gain a more "privileged" position in life. They tend to look down on other black people in general, yet contradict themselves by claiming to be pro-black man (or pro-interracial) when their words and actions say otherwise. A lot of them sound like they don't even really like women, and many come across as though they think women (and the world) owe them something. It's not even a sexual thing, but it's still a type of "fetishization".
• People who see IR dating as some type of novelty. They do it to be "different" and for the attention it gets them.

I try to pay close attention to people's vibes and behavior, and I try to avoid the types of people who "fetishize" BM or WW like the plague. Of course age and experience have made the red flags more noticeable. I've encountered some creepy ass people over the years with questionable interest in my interracial love life, and a few dudes looking for the 'white woman experience', and I'm always quick to shut that shit down.

I've never viewed BM in a "fetishized" way myself. I've always had nothing but genuine love/attraction for BM, and I would never show them such disrespect.

 

Ah. yes. How could I forget the cringey Pick Me Karen types when they definitely belong on the list of common fetishiezers. Agreed, they do have a lot in common—evidently both groups think of themselves as somehow superior since they're so "different".

 

Oh no—how will I ever survive being labeled a jealous hater by a bunch of textbook narcissist poster children?!? Hell, they pretty much slap that label on everyone who doesn't agree that the world should or does revolve around them and whatever image they think they are portraying. lol