how long should u wait before having sex

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by goodlove, Sep 18, 2015.

  1. samson1701

    samson1701 Well-Known Member

    You know as well as I do that you're not the norm when it comes to these chicks. Especially with people in their 20's and early 30's. Shit, I know a couple of women in their 40's who are still confusing good dick with love. Be on FB heart broken every six months or so.

    Stop comparing you to them. You're in your own class. Quit frontin'. ....lol
     
  2. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    I love this chick but she knows she just loves the attention lol
     
  3. samson1701

    samson1701 Well-Known Member

    Right! ...lol
     
  4. RaiderLL

    RaiderLL Well-Known Member

    Lol who loves attention?! Moi?! Naaaaah lol.

    Seriously though, I do take pride in the fact that I'm most definitely not your average chick. Probably why I rub a few of the females here the wrong way, but in typical Raider fashion, I couldn't care less lol. :cool:
     
  5. meowkittenmeow

    meowkittenmeow Well-Known Member

    I prefer to wait at least 3 to 6 months. The longer the better.
     
  6. Ches

    Ches Well-Known Member

    That's wonderful coming from a guy. :smt049 Very hard to do it, but worth it.
     
  7. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    why is waiting better?
     
  8. goodlove

    goodlove New Member

    The theory^^^^^
     
  9. hellified

    hellified Active Member

    the onus of the stigma for promiscuous behavior and being sexually aggressive or assertive is on women. There are negative term and slurs that pertain to your sexual behavior and none that pertain to men thats gotta be annoying.

    But whats REALLY gotta be fucked up for you as women is when you do exactly what he wants you to do and he STILL reserves the right to judge you negatively if he wants and that has weight in society. That plays into respectability politics and is the basis for why we're even discussing how long you should wait to have sex...

    Note this topic pertains primarily to women..not men. Thats why that panel in that video consisted of mostly women and had only ONE DUDE who pretty much wasn't even sweating the subject..
     
  10. Ches

    Ches Well-Known Member

    To give you time to get to know the rest of the person before experiencing them sexually. Gives you time to decide if this is a person you truly want to give yourself to in that way. I'm always encouraged when I see guys advise women not to give up the cookie too soon.or who prefer to wait themselves. If more people did that, I think we'd have fewer divorces, unwanted pregnancies and single mothers. Jmo.
     
  11. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    Usually those are men who slut shame and have a problem with their own self esteem. One thing I've learned in life is you can't game the system. If a person is right for you when you sleep with them has far less to do with why things or don't work. And just because a guy waits with you doesn't mean hes not being entertained else where.
    Not saying to change just don't get the logic.
     
  12. meowkittenmeow

    meowkittenmeow Well-Known Member

    I completely agree. Everyone is different. Some prefer time and some do not and it generally does not affect the outcome of the relationship. I just personally prefer to wait.
     
  13. K8tie

    K8tie New Member

    Everyone needs to do what is best for themselves. Three to six months to wait seems a bit excessive to me - 3-6 dates maybe. Even if you wait that long doesn't guarantee it will last. If you're feeling it then I say why not?
     
  14. Ches

    Ches Well-Known Member

    May be your experience but not mine. In fact, it's just the opposite.
     
  15. Ches

    Ches Well-Known Member

    I absolutely think it can affect the outcome of the relationship but to each his own.
     
  16. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    How does it effect it?
     
  17. meowkittenmeow

    meowkittenmeow Well-Known Member

    For me, it gives me time to get to know the person and to make sure that everything is in order and I am compatible. But, I realize that most people don't need that long to figure those things out. It is just a "me thing".
     
  18. Ches

    Ches Well-Known Member

    You may choose not to be in one with him/her!
     
  19. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    What do you learn in 3 months that you don't learn in 3 weeks?
     
  20. RaiderLL

    RaiderLL Well-Known Member

    Judging by the responses in here, I think this topic in general boils down to one of two things...

    1. Some people may take longer to be confident/comfortable in their opinion of others. If you're screwed over time after time, Id imagine you'd start to Beasty of most and give yourself that extra time. I tend to trust my initial judgments of others, because typically Im right lol, so I know pretty quick if he's someone I can get along with. That's enough for me. When single, I didn't need to see wedding bells in order to enjoy sex.

    2. Some people need to be in love in order to emotionally permit themselves to have sex...which I can definitely then understand beefing to wait some months before going there. Sex isn't just sex to some.
     

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