Marriage versus living together

My ex-wife and I ALWAYS kissed when parting, greeting each other and at bedtime. However, we could be arguing and still get in the all important kiss/I love you. When out in public she'd always put her hand inside of my arm, and I remember one time we were battling in a disagreement, but she was still holding on.

 

Marriage, common-law marriage and civil unions. I have met common-law married couples years ago. My sister was once in a civil union for years before it ended. I have met many couples who were living together. I cannot say that either of these options are better than the other. It all depends on the couple and their finances.

 

Yah but did you hold the kiss? I know many couples that do as you say but it's more of a quick kiss thing. They aren't really tuning into each other for the moment.

I used to be in the habit of "I love you" with my ex when ending a call or leaving but it was more of just a routine than actually a thoughtful tuned in to the moment "I love you". Sortof reminds me when the kids try to give you a half assed hug or "I love you". I will stop them and have them get present first.

Some people will have sex whether or not they are getting along....I don't know how much that really keeps them connected. Maybe it's better than if they aren't though.

 

I think it really depends on the two people and how they relate to commitment. For some, marriage is very different than living together. But overall, there probably is more to it. We are conditioned to hold marriage differently than other relationships. I just think about how people are when they split up and once the divorce is actually final. They can be completely disconnected and moved on with their life, but there is still something that shifts when that divorce becomes final. I think about those who were in relationships for many years and then finally got married and then split rather quickly. There does seem to be something that shifts with the marriage. (It's not all a financial thing either)

 

Finances are not all that important for some couples but it doesn't hurt to be able to deal with problems of a financial nature should they arrive.

Of course, it depends on the couple. Some make it, others do not. The marriage and later divorce of my parents will attest to that.

 

I get it, but I do think ours' were sincere enough. Sometimes they weren't even on the lips. I know often if she was busy when I came in I'd often hug her from behind with a kiss on the cheek and so on. I do agree that sometimes it was just a quick sort of routine thing. I was taught that especially those goodbye hugs and kisses are really important as it could always be the last.

 

Haha I do this with my kids I hug them and just hold on until they get the point that I expect a sincere hug lol.