Question? Why do ww women like black men when they get older

Discussion in 'Stereotypes and Myths' started by Rocket, Jun 11, 2008.

  1. Rocket

    Rocket New Member

    This one has always puzzled me. Why do I always hear of stories of ww suddenly liking black men when they get older, have been married with kids, etc. What is the difference between that woman at 25 and that woman at 35. I am very leery, and I repeat very leery of older women that like black men for this very reason. I almost want to say f... off because of the thought of trying to be nice to a woman in her mid 20s just to have her shun me, and then this same used up woman at 35 wanting to go out. A black man is a black man, and has not changed. It not like we are 1995 BMWs, and now you want a 2008 BMW (major difference.) I have always been attracted to all kinds of women, and couldn’t' imagine waking up abruptly one morning an saying "Wow!" " I think that I am now attracted to green women." Any comments?
  2. dj4monie

    dj4monie New Member

    Because many of these women didn't have families and friends that accepted there attraction to Black men and married White men. After the kids were either grown or in their teenage years, all of a sudden there was a WIDE disconnect because the woman didn't cave in to her desires.

    So she ejects herself from that relationship and seeks the "Black Knight" missing from her life.

    That's why.....
  3. satyricon

    satyricon Guest


    There are very few "black knights" (WTF?), but quite a few court jesters.

    I don't know what the topic starter is talking about, but where I live there are legions of young and beautiful white women that will date a black man.
  4. Rocket

    Rocket New Member

    dj4monie- I can sort of understand what you are saying, but I am talking about the ones that treat us like sh.. when they were young, but turn around and date us when they get older. If you are attracted to us, but get married to a white guy because of family pressure, why do you treat us like sh.. when we try to initiate a conversation?? I have had white women tell me point black that they wouldn't give a black man the time of day when they were younger.
  5. eternalniteman

    eternalniteman New Member

    Lol "Legions" where do you live at? Maybe I need to move lol :p
  6. Ronja

    Ronja New Member

    I think the solution is as easy as this:

    Generally, as people (men and women) get older, their self confidence rises and they worry less about what others might think. Many also learns to be less shallow...

    So some women who didn't have the guts to date BM when they were younger, might have the guts when their older.

    Just like a lot of 35 year old men, who have only dated "models" end up marrying a rather plain woman.

    It's not because people(both genders) lower their standards as the OP seem to suggest, but because yourself and your values changes as you mature. What's important to a 25 year old, might not be very important to a 35 year old.
  7. alli

    alli New Member

    The difference with the 20 something woman and the 30 something could merely be opportunity. Maybe a younger woman is less likely to approach a man of any race and no black men are approaching her.

    Maybe an older woman is less inhibited and more likely to go after what she wants despite any real or perceived social cost.

    Maybe she married young, divorced and can now fulfill her desire to explore what's out there.

    Maybe she's always been interested in black men but lacked the maturity necessary to overcome the narrow mindedness that she might face from friends, family or society in general.
  8. TheChosenOne

    TheChosenOne Moderator

    People realize with age that you can share values and culture with someone but not be of the same race or creed.

    A lot of these white women might not have much contact with blacks growing...not so much because of their family but because a lot of teenage brothas don't make the move. A lot of BM (at least where I am) don't have anything against WW...but they aren't going to go out of their way to chase after one either. Our neighborhoods and schools are fairly segregated so BM and WW just don't have a chance to interact. Also remember that a child's social network has a lot to do with the parents and who they socialize with....which means that if a WW's parents attend an all-white church...the child will too and that goes for BM whose parents attend an all-black church.

    In other's hard for young BM & WW to start relationships with each other when they often don't even interact as simply friends. This doesn't even take into account all of the black and white families that purposefully fill their children's heads with all kinds of nonsense about people of other races.

    When the white women go to college...they see men everywhere but considering that whites are the vast majority of the population in most Western's simply easier to find a WM than a BM just on sheer numbers....numbers that are even more skewed in a college setting. It's probably not until they enter the workplace that most WW have any meaningful contact with BM (and vice-versa)'s then that they realize that the differences that they thought existed....aren't really as great as suspected.

    Of course by their mid-30's, these women have often married and had the door gets shut barring some unforseen marital conflict.

    Let's also remember that some WW are shy when approaching BM. Most BM are used to being rejected because of race....some brothas won't care while others will approach WW only with great trepidation.

    WW that are truly into BM for reasons other than sex don't have the same air of cockiness that you see from the WW that think they can have any BM if they lift up their skirt. Brothas sometimes will put up a wall and while not rejecting WW....we may give off the impression that "Going White Wouldn't Be Right" an attempt to 'Out-Black" our homeboys and not appear "weak."

    Ok I'm tired of writing about this.....maybe someone can grab the baton and finish this race.
  9. Rocket

    Rocket New Member

    Thanks for all of the feedback. I guess for me I am having a hard time understanding this because I am not like that. This is not a direct analogy, but I hated pickles when I was a child, I hated pickles in my 20s, and I still hate pickles in my 30s and will until the day I die. It makes me wonder then how many women are kicking themselves in the tails because of opportunities they may have lost out on. I am not a mean, spiteful, or vindictive person, but I CANNOTT tolerate a woman who thought that she was too good to date me in a prior life.

    I guess that there are a lot of black guys that have been made to feel like second-class citizens from women that are looking for a white man. Even if a black man is really good looking with a white woman, he still gets looked at side ways from a white woman that may be with an average Joe white man.
  10. veema

    veema New Member

    lol. I didn't like cheese as a kid. When I left home, I grew to be an adventurous eater. After more exposure to cheese, I learned to love it. Sometimes tastes evolve.

    That said, at my age, I probably wouldn't date a black man who suddenly started dating white women. Only because I'm more comfortable with men who understand or can relate to the experience of being in an interracial relationship. And yes, I'd be a little suspicious of what made them change their mind at this stage in the game.
  11. Be-you-tiful86

    Be-you-tiful86 Well-Known Member

    That is definitely right. Well said,Ronja
  12. stiletoes

    stiletoes Well-Known Member

    Okay, I will chime in on this one. When I was 15, I dated and fell in love with a black man, we were together for 3 years and our familes, due to racism on both sides put a halt to the relationship.

    I moved far away and married a Latino man a year later. He was mre palpable to my family than a black man was. I was married for 20 years. Around year 18, the ex-H and I became distant he had a ONS, and I began and affair with a black man who was his co-worker.

    Fast-forward. We split up in 2006, diovorced last year, and I have only dated and am now in an exclusive relationship with a black man who is truly the most healthy relationship that I have ever had.

    Every white woman has their own story. For me, I was always attracted to black men, and NEVER treated one like shit. I was young and not strng enough to stand up to my family. Now at 41, with grown kids, it is MY time to be with who I want.
  13. jellybird

    jellybird New Member

    From my experiences, this answer deserves a double co-sign.
  14. dj4monie

    dj4monie New Member

    Only I have dated Plain Janes and demand a close to model type now... I have it backwards.

    Actually I just desire a level of sex appeal I haven't had before, that doesn't unnecessarily translate into "Model Chick"
  15. malikom

    malikom Banned

    They do it because they have nothing to lose socially anymore.I mean,if a white women is well passed her young,beautiful,virile years,and has had kids and her "market value" has plummeted and she is divorced,what does she have to lose?Who do she have to answer to?She may not care what her racist parents think anymore and etc.She has given her best years to a white man,and thats passed,so why not try out a black man? :roll:
  16. Rocket

    Rocket New Member

    malikom- That's my point, and I think you have depicted the most accurate answer. This is what pisses me off, and I have absolutely no tolerance for. This is why I am inclined to tell an older woman to fu.. off if she tries to go out with me, because I conjure up thoughts of her youth and how she would have passed me over like a piece of garbage. If a woman is young, and has the so called social status, I will probably go out with her. This situation does not seem desperate for her, and she may truly like me for me rather than feeling that she is used up and has no other alternative.
  17. stiletoes

    stiletoes Well-Known Member

    That is certainly your perrogetive :D
    because I conjure up thoughts of her youth and how she would have passed me over like a piece of garbage. If a woman is young, and has the so called social status, I will probably go out with her.
    In my personla life, as a young white woman, I had not social status. I was a wife and mother and did not begin a career until age 30. I did not truly gain "social status" til my late 30s.
    This situation does not seem desperate for her, and she may truly like me for me rather than feeling that she is used up and has no other alternative
    That is a board brush to paint with. As a 41 one year old woman who went BACK to dating black men after a divorce, I am sexier, more confident, and have more time to build my realtioship and ENJOY it with my boyfriend than I did when I was younger. As far as the "no other alternative comment, please. I could easily date a white man if I chose to, but I have decided not to as they hold no charm for me.
  18. Rocket

    Rocket New Member

    bosoxlady- Sorry if I offended you. I guess that I am extremely frustrated from what I have seen in my lifetime.

    PS- How do you add a photo to your post? I have tried several times, but only see an option to add a small aviator photo.
  19. Rocket

    Rocket New Member

    bosoxlady- I just thought of something. You mentioned that you wish you would have had the guts to stand up to your parents 18-20 years ago when you were going out with a black man. You also mentioned that you could get white guys if you wanted, but don't want them. This makes me ask 2 questions:

    1) If some white women want a black men, but don't pursue because of family, society, etc, does this mean that they are living miserable lives with a man that happens to be the same race? And what do they say if the guy they marry is a bigot and tries to put black men down?

    2) Are women really that weak in that they can't just live their own life, and not let people dictate how they will live it? If women are this weak, no man should be afraid to approach them out of fear of rejection.

    I personally COULD NOT IMAGINE being with a woman just to make my parents happy, or because strangers that I don't know or care about will give me their stamp of approval. I am not trying to be condescending, but if this is the case, there are a lot of weak women out there.
  20. shyandsweet

    shyandsweet New Member

    There are also plenty of bm out there around my age-44- that were married to bf for years and just now dating wf and I don't consider them weak! Lots of times when people are younger they just fall into what society or family expects of them. A lot of people change as they grow up and actually then find out what they desire and need from a mate. I am sorry that some women treated you bad-but my goodness please don't hold that against all ww that are older. Older women are wonderful! Don't let a few actions of some cloud your view. Myself and my friends are definately not washed up at the age of 40!

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