Should Women Ask Men Out?

Love this! But when we women say it, we get scorched. Nice to hear it from a man. :smt023:smt023

 

Yes. This thread surprised me by how many posters were ok with the woman becoming the aggressor. How else can it be viewed when a man shies away from approaching women other than weakness?

Here's the deal: if the girl has to come on to a dude & then take him out, how can that woman later respect him? If he's gonna make her do the work, then wouldn't she call all of the shots in their dealings?

Accept your position fellas & stop this bullshit. We are the hunters; we begin the interaction.

Stop living in the hypothetical.

 

Yeah, why drop "hints" and "signals" when you can just save everyone's time and be direct? I have never understood that.

It's like we tell little kids when they have something to express: use your words. The best way to say something is to actually say something.

 

exactly....women get mad when men miss the hints
why cant a woman express themselves?

especially if they see a guy in the store in that fleeting moment.

 

I don't need to "hunt".



Handsome men problems. :mrgreen:

That's called playing games.

 

Ok I don't quite get this. I don't think a woman has to be the one to ask you out to show interest, make you feel wanted, or fully participate in the relationship. There are many things a woman can do to show all of that. But then I don't think about a man asking a woman out as a major hunt either, or at least I don't think it should be. Most women I know are pretty open to showing their interest once the man makes the first move. Typically once they've been out a few times and it's clear they are both interested, both are asking each other to do things.

If they are really putting up that kind of resistance, I would think they aren't really that interested. If it's really like this:" ...feel like a dog chasing cars or like I was playing the endurance game, tracking a deer down for hours on end, until she gets tired and says yes to a simple date." Why would you do that? I know if I tell a man I'm not interested or I don't want to go out with him, it isn't code for keep trying ass hole. It's quite the opposite.

 

I'm sure he's speaking of initially, not after a few dates.

Every male has experienced a female who done things that "showed she was interested in him" but in reality, she wasn't.

 

While it's very unlikely I would ask a man out (I've made a couple very lame attempts in the past), I don't think if a woman asks a man out it means she's doing all the work and it sets the relationship up that way. I have friends who ask men out and they often do it very differently than men do. They will ask them to go with them to an event, or something that is a bit more open ended than a "date". Often too, it's been in situations where it may not have been really "ok" for the man to ask her out, but it would be "ok" for her to ask him out (i.e. he's a vendor for a company she works for, or she's a client of his organization, etc.)

 

oh ok - that sounds like more games. He's better off passing on that.

 

Agreed. My only point in this exercise is that the younger guys here would do well to accept that culturally, it is the gentleman's responsibility to initiate. Let's not over complicate things.

Again, agreed. That's just a part of the deal. And ultimately, it's not that big a deal.

 

Seriously, that's the kind of shit that stopped being cute once she got her learner's permit.

 

Your in a very small minority, majority of people do not like their precious time or resources wasted.

 

You two need to stop living in the 60s

 

I guess so.

But tell me, out of all the chicks that you wanted badly (along with everybody else), how many times did she approach you?

Or better yet, of all the girlfriends you've had, how many started it off by asking you out for an ice cream & soda?

I doubt it was more than 2(tops). And that number is bound to be even lower if you're chasing after the in-demand skirts. Count on that.

Look, we can go back-in-forth on the forum but life just doesn't work that way. The fellas do the asking, with rare exception.

-----------------

Better yet, since this is a BlackMen & WhiteWomen forum, the women should settle this question:

Ladies, how many of y'all are gonna ask a dude out on a date?

Routinely?

 

I've been approached by more than 5 different women on this forum....

 

On the internet right?

That's not what I'm talking about.

The question is, how many times have you been approached by the kinda female you would chase in real life?

In real life?
(not a 'fix up', not a coffee date after chatting online)

Only you know the answer to that question. But I have a feeling that those experiences can be counted on one hand.

 

Nope. Only once I'm in a relationship. I grew up in the 60's and 70's and they weren't so bad. Men were still men and women were still ladies.

 

Well actually, my point in doing the thread was to get the men's (realistic) pov about it. In many of the threads they will talk about how they want women to be more assertive and say what they want, etc. But then you have to wonder how they would really react to women asking them out, what are they really thinking about a woman who approaches. Maybe it's something that is more of a fantasy than something they really want to be happening.

 

Judging from the responses on this thread the overall consensus is that yes, women should ask men out. If you don't want to then that's fine. But you have your answer.