Some BM Still Intimidated by WW

I agree. Tried to rep you but have to spread it around.

 

I don't know if they just plucked two women who seem to get it or it appears that the UK is decades ahead of us as far as race relations. Even the part where the red haired woman was sensitive and aware enough to recognize there's a difference culturally within the black community. You barely get black people here to recognize that let alone white people. Very eye opening and refreshing thanks for posting.

 

TDK... I grew up in London and wasn't even aware of severe racial issues until I left the UK. The problems are there of course but they are low key and you can largely be oblivious to any day-to-day issues - esp. if you are female and also depending on the area that you live in. I dated women of all races when I was growing up and largely race was hardly if ever a topic for conversation. Yes differences were acknowledged but persistent objectification as if there were some barrier or tabu being broken or as if you were dating someone who was fundamentally different was entirely absent.

We simply are not fed the daily diet of "black this", "white that"... And if you add in that there was/is little to no local slavery, no KKK, no segregation, few armed police and the English penchant (social norm) for understatement, non-extremes, rooting for the underdog and "fairness" then all in all there is less of the blatant in-your-face day-to-day racism. The best description for the english mindset is that they like middling, lukewarm positions and distrust parties and politics at either end of the spectrum.

It's far from perfect though and if anything the glass ceiling is more pronounced than in the states but that is also bound up with the issues related to the entrenched english class system and general lower productivity and standard of living vis-a-via the USA. There is no broad-based "Affirmative Action" in the UK. It is applied judiciously in certain economic sectors BUT private industry is largely free to employ who they want as long as they do not discriminate.

I probably should stress again that it is FAR from perfect but generally people definitely do not view race as the great divider that you do in the states.

Look at British films... LockStock, Snatch, RocknRolla.. All races together.. All the same.. Look at British TV - Red Dwarf, The Office, Dr. Who, Eastenders and so on. Look at British actors in Hollywood - Elba, Chiwetel, Akinnuoye-Agbaje and others. They sound and act largely like Brits not like "Afro-Brits"... Check out an interview with them.

examples..

Elba - [YOUTUBE]xKUj4tgpwm0[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]BOrFcAYt84Y[/YOUTUBE]

Mr. Eko - [YOUTUBE]7ObQlVTuu-U[/YOUTUBE]

I fear though that new media, the influx of continental europeans (exceptions notwithstanding) and the global drive to ape america (categorizing and social-rights industry) could change this..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1315777/How-twisted-obsession-race-makes-MORE-divided.html

http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1719833

Remember the american cheerios advert and the fuss it caused. We have had mixed couples in UK adverts since I was a kid and no one gives a damn. Again such things are not commented on and are largely ignored.

[YOUTUBE]li7ts_vfr1o[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]jMVoIM1FuJ4[/YOUTUBE]

 

its good pov for to hear.

 

That's a damn shame. That he can think so little of himself to be treated that way.

 

That white pussy is like crack to some dudes apparently. Gotta have it no matter what.....

 

Given that guy's age, I wonder if it's generational? Maybe he was so hell bent on finding a white woman, any white woman, that he just said fuck it and took what he could get even if she would never want anyone else to know that she had anything to do with him.

 

It could be, but then again I've seen the same thing with some younger dudes as well. Seen the same thing with some white women also. Looks and personality wise they could have a black man on the same level as they are but choose to date what could be seen as below them aka thugs/womanizers.

Or it might be a non commitment thing when it comes to it and that may be how they make sure they don't actually commit to someone.

 

You must be new to this site. welcome. haa

 

QuadW's,you are fortunate to live in Europe where WW are bolder than the ones in the States,plus the UK and other countries in Europe have a very long history of IR. The experiences of Black US Soldiers in two world wars and expats in between and after WWII.

 

Yo, that's some weak ass bullshit. I would probably unfriend a dude as well until I read this point of view:

It most likely is generational. He's at a point in his life where all that family acceptance shit isn't really of value. The woman values him in his life, but she isn't ready (even around 60?) to uproot her family life over it. If they have something that works, why wreck it, right?

My personal opinion is if someone isn't comfortable with being around you in public, they can hitchhike home. There, said it. :smt014

 

people got mad when i said something like this situation a long time ago

ww have to deal with losing their trust fund.
meaning they can literally lose their trust fund and figuratively. meaning their family will disown them for dating a bm.

so just remember that. its not that easy. think on it. she hook up with u and her family disowns her. then what? shes thinking what if her and the bm break up and then what?

its not always black and white. ( see what i did there.lol)

the dude gets it. thats why hes putting up with it. has nothing to do with self-respect....perse

 

1. It's rarely the entire family that feels this way. I've been through this quite a few times and it's usually one custodial parent or maybe a grandparent but you the entire family doesn't drop you and in my experience the initial shock causes some tension but people who love you get over it especially if you're not dating a shitty person.

2. Life is way too short to be sneaking around, unless it's purely physical, no one should have to lurk in shadows as if what they're doing is wrong. They're both better off just ending it.

 

yeah.
u would be shocked in how people would act behind closed doors. true its gotten better but thats not saying much.

but i agree .... you will get sick of sneaking around
cause at some point u will have to know whats up.

i always try to look at it from her pov.

if shes ok with just fwb then cool.

but i will always say dont take IR too lightly...women are taking the biggest risk. bw or ww.
the reason i say that is cause women tend to be more family orientated than men are.

u know more up under mom and dad.

 

but basically i agree life is too short

 

It's poerfectly rational for BM to be wary. BM and WW are the most stigmatized IR pairing in the US, and BM are the most demonized demographic group.

 

its only ir when blacks and whites get together

 

I would MAYBE buy into that some IF he hadn't been with white women for the past 20+ years of his life. For the one's who mentioned "any white woman". That won't fly either. He's been with some really accomplished, beautiful women. He did seem to have a weird thing where he would get with women who had never been with a black man before. (sortof like the guys who try to find the virgins). Here's an odd part to it all too - every woman he had been with approached him, except one and she wasn't like that. Maybe he didn't feel he could stand up against the other black men women had been with (?) I don't know, seems like some f'd up mental stuff to me.

But the bottom line is I was amazed to see how many were still being run by some BS about what someone else may think or do, The only one who's going to determine what man will be in my life is me. Those issues have nothing to do with the black man, those are issues they have going on with their family of origin that they need to deal with themselves.

 

This may be somewhat true. But then there is always a time when women need to take a stand in their life and be a grown women towards their family. This happens around all sorts of things (weddings, children, etc) whether IR are involved or not.

 

yep...soon or later you will have to