Submit to your Man ?

HAHAHA!!
HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL!!!!!!
:smt050

I so love my V-Chai!!!

 

Burn

 

Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner. I 100% concur.

 

LOL. monday tuesdays ,, happy days

 

LOL. to a pt you are rite not all men are not worthy to be leaders because they are just low down and evil so that is why YOU need to choose wisely. then there are the good guys some are not born leaders BUT some learn. with that being said men dont dominate a woman they work together like I stated. so if a man says we need to be on a budget so we can get ahead and be prepared for our future then he is visualizing and goal setting. a smart woman would cosign on that. a smart woman would also advise him on how to meet those goals. also look at the video that was linked. the woman agreed.

also when shit fails...what is first thing a woman scream.....your the man what are you gonna do ? IT NEVER EVER FAILS.

In a relationship women screams independence until the bills need to be paid. then all of the sudden its you. remember as an individual you have your independence ( both words starts with the letter "I" ). when you get married then its we as a team ( no letter "I" is involved)

even in dating women want men to be leaders. men are suppose to plan the date , rite ? that is leading. how many times a woman planned the date ? rarely.

women would think a man is weak if he come off as not confident if he asks " wanna go on a date ?

you respond "sure. what are we gonna do ? "

he state " I dont know . what do you want to do ?"

the first thing you think " dumbass you asked me you should have a plan. If i like then I would cosign if not then I would give my suggestion."

also , If you can only bring to the table just your ass and problems then hit the road.

 

I don't know what women you know goodlove, but I know none who would sit back and expect their man to figure shit out on his own if there's a problem. The women I know aren't whiners or bitchers though, they're solvers. Your suggestion that a woman should choose wisely goes both ways, people in general who prefer to be part of the problem, rather than part of the solution, are usually easy to spot. It's never 50/50 with people like that, they usually sit back and let everyone else do the work, while they reap the benefits. My advice is the same as yours, avoid them by choosing wisely.

I also have no problem paying the bills, I've been managing family finances since I was 9, I'm good at it. However it will not be an issue again because I don't ever intend to co-mingle my funds with anyone else. I like having sole say on how the money I work for is spent, and I plan to keep it that way. I also won't be asking for any man in my future to contribute to my lifestyle, he keeps his, I keep mine, everyone is happy.

As for planning a date, I don't care who plans it. If he doesn't want to, or doesn't know what I'd like to do, that's fine. One thing I'm never short on is opinions and ideas, so if he needs input, he has but to ask and I wouldn't think any less of him. In fact, I think that's considerate when he takes the time to actually find out what I'd like to do, rather than just planning what he'd like to do and assuming I'll enjoy it too. I also don't think it's his job to pay for everything, it's at least going to be 50/50. As I said, I'm not co-mingling my bank account with anyone, however if I'm in a relationship and I have more disposable income that he does, then it doesn't bother me to always pay since it has less of a detrimental effect on my bottom line. Essentially if I know it presents a hardship for him, I'm not going to allow that, and I would always determine that upfront rather than just expect him to foot the bill as one of the necessary expenses for the privilege of dating me. Women who think like that really confuse and irritate me.

 

Should a woman submit? If that is the kind of relationship a husband and wife decide on then yes. If not then no. One thing I am tired of hearing is "Submission is weak". First of all, it isn't. I submitted to 9 years of military service and I was far from weak. My mother is a submissive woman, but at the same time she is also very strong and managed two different careers in her lifetime. The "Submission" was a product of listening to and most often doing what my father said. However, that was a product of the trust they had developed, thus my mother new the decisions he made were in our family's best interest. If my mother disagreed, or wanted to add a different perspective on the subject she would do so with my father in private (as we got older they would discuss things in front of us, but if it ever bordered the idea of an argument they made it a point to keep us from being present). I suppose my point is, there is nothing wrong with being a submissive Woman or Man. I find it amusing when I hear of some women complaining about not being able to find a traditional gentlemen, yet they do not conduct themselves in a traditional manner. I would assume that you would have to find cohesion between traditional views and modern thought in order to find that ideal man. But, some of the "everyday thought patterns" that you go through as a single man or woman must change in order to have a healthy relationship. And that is when being a bit more traditional and yes, submissive come in.

I always laugh (inside) when I am on a date and a woman describes herself as "Ms. Independent". There are two men on this planet that want "Ms. Independent". Their names are Tyler Perry and Ne-yo and I am almost positive they are both gay. Most men want "Ms. Self Sufficient" (She takes care of her business but also longs for love. However, she doesn't have the over-bearing attitude and selfish nature that comes with being overly independent). I would also go so far to say that one cannot be Independent and Codependent at the same time, thus the mindset for a woman who proclaims that she is "Ms. Independent" is not the ideal for most men looking for love.

Ultimately, Submission may not function well in your career, but it takes a bit of submission from both sides (ultimately one will submit a bit more than the other based on agreement and personality differences) and submission does not equate weakness. As much as my Mother was submissive to my Father, she showed appreciation for it by making her breakfast before he went to work and giving her foot massages when he got back from a long day of work. Thus, it's not that submission is bad, you just have to be able to find the person that makes you feel comfortable enough and that you trust enough where submission doesn't feel like submission, it feels like love and security.

 

Good post, but LOL @ this!

 

Good post rookie.:smt023

 

This is an excellent point. Someone who views submission as weakness, or believes that it diminishes them somehow, doesn't have the right mindset for a give and take relationship IMO.

 

I never said a man should figure it out on his own...remember I stated a woman should be his advisor (helper). Remember I stated words suchas team(teams help eachother succeed. thus with that in mind everyone is contributing to the success of the relationship. In the end of it all....Men feel obligated to the woman in making sure they have their needs (1st) and wants (2nd) taken care of.

as far as choosing you are correct but in the beginning the women are the choosers...think about it...men campaign women vote. men approach you and you decide if you want to go on the date. then so on and so forth. campaigning and voting. LOL:smt007

#3 when a guy plans a date especially the first one...he usually can plan the date accordingly to what you want be not asking you what you want to do. if he is smart in his convo he would have found out. That is why I was doing the trading macking notes. I had learned this process thru trial and error and get schoolled from other bro's. I still learn from other bro's and women friends young and old. never stop learning but I digress. That is why he should be able to take the lead and do the first couple of dates. as time goes on sure he will ask but for the most part he will know how to hook you up properly because a real man will try his best to think of creative ways to make your toes curl. LOL:smt007

#4 after awhile sure a woman who is half her salt would pay for a date every once in a while for her man. no doubt but thats after time or if she asked him out first.

like i stated its all about team work.

 

No1 highlight negates no2 highlight.
They are mutually exclusive in a relationship.

 

#1 the word you are looking for is interdependent I believe. You depend on eachother but at the sametime you have not lost your identity.

the main thing you stated is appreciation. Both sides of the gender line need to adhere to that word. no need to go into that

 

how so ?

 

Actually, I elaborated a lot more than that. But, if that is what you took from it then no worries

 

yeah that is why i didnt bother because you gave enough. you did a thread shut down.

oh the other word that is important is trust. when a woman votes for a man after his campaigning he should have had earned a certian amt of trust especially when you get married....then the trust should grow as time goes on if he has always made wise decisions.

the thing about it is sometimes making the rite decision is not popular and it takes effort

 

A thread shut down? Is that bad? I am kind of new to this site. I am sorry if I said too much or something.

 

that means you said enough that no one could add on. It was so true what else can be said

 

Seriously.. dude....

team work is exactly that - TEAM work....
Not some autocrat making all the shots with a "helper"... that is not teamwork

 

Oh, ok, thanks