UCLA Study: Women want bad boys to knock them up, nice guys to raise the babies

Fairytale romances are enviable as well as desirable. If one couple has one, others will seek out a fairytale romance of their own. Media is definitely to blame. But fairytales are also a culprit, too. The only realistic fairytale was The Ugly Duckling. Everyone can relate to that story. Everyone can also relate to The Three Little Pigs as it was a cautionary tale about putting things off.

Why is it that a show like The Bachelor/Bachelorette are so popular? The attractive man or woman is looking for someone to love. So a contest with a series of challenges is established. There can be only one winner. I will admit that I like beautiful women. But realistically, I like a woman who is cute. Like I have said before, cuteness goes a long way. And if she understands and accepts me, it's all good. If we share common interests enjoy learning new things together, we've hit the jackpot. However, these things are intended to encourage and inspire hope in all of us. Because life is not easy no matter who you are, what you do, where you are in life, so on, so forth and such like. Romance just happens to those who are fortunate enough to find someone.

 

Brothers have been knowing about this for a loooong time.

We don't need UCLA to tell us shit:mrgreen:

 

I think people marry or partner with a person they think is "good" for them or that they "love", even if that person doesn't fill them with "desire" per se. I don't think that these people necessarily cheat on their partner, but I do think they consciously or unconsciously still desire who/what they desire.

I disagree with your underlined comment, because I think that people do get together with someone they don't really desire because people are generally realistic about their life chances and are raised to look at marriage as a practical matter, not solely a matter of desires and wants. It is because of this that many "imperfect" people get together. But it doesn't stop the longing.

I agree. Expectations and desires rarely coincide with the reality of the person in front of you.

 

I guess I am too much of a realist...I know better than to get wrapped up in the fairytale...reach beyond what I feel is my equal...I am also not one to settle so desire guides me..if I am not feeling it then I am out...I don't think marriage is practical anymore...I think divorce however is practical and staying beyond when a relationship has run it's course is pure torture...

I do understand what "longing" is and what it can do to a person...it can stop them from living the hand they were dealt...

 

Not only that, it will be made out to be something brand new and made a huge deal over.

 

Agreed.

 

I'm curious Lippy, why do you think marriage is not practical anymore? I was just debating the article below with a divorced friend the other day and he agreed with a lot of what was said...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/antho...rriages-just-dont-work-anymore_b_7013632.html

Also, do you think a person can work to improve the "hand they were dealt"?

 

The percentages are against you when it comes to marriage survival. I realize I am talking to a happily married man but you are in the minority and I am not speaking of your skin color.

I honestly believe that we are evolving into more of a domestic partnership with no paperwork involved society. Tradition is getting diluted through the generations.

Yes, I think you have some power over the hand you are dealt but I see people paralyzed by their situation or waiting to live their lives until the situation changes.

 

The problem today is that we live in a disposable society and that extends to marriage. It used to be that if something broke, you fixed it. Not any more. You pitch it and go buy new. Same with marriage.

 

yep..very true...but why stay in something that doesn't make you happy just to prove a point...it ends up doing more harm than good...

 

Interesting perspective Lippy, it can be difficult to find definitive studies on the divorce rates, the article below offers some interesting statistics and possible reasoning why the divorce rate is currently, and has been dropping for quite some time now...

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/02/upshot/the-divorce-surge-is-over-but-the-myth-lives-on.html?_r=0

 

Because you took vows. Many marriages end that could've been saved if only people weren't so selfish and always putting their own happiness first.

 

Is it possible that less people are getting married which would drop the percentage of divorce? I think it will be interesting in another 10 years plus when couples 70+ age out of marriage due to one or the other spouse dying. Then you have the baby boomers at the top with many on their 2-3 marriage. It may be that in older age people marry for a different reason...companionship?

 

each person man or woman is responsible for their own happiness...you can't expect that someone else is going to make you happy or fulfill your life...

if a person isn't happy in the situation then I feel (my opinion) they should take measures to change that situation

 

From the article...

"Some of the decline in divorce clearly stems from the fact that fewer people are getting married — and some of the biggest declines in marriage have come among groups at risk of divorce. But it also seems to be the case that marriages have gotten more stable, as people are marrying later."

 

From the Article...

"Despite hand-wringing about the institution of marriage, marriages in this country are stronger today than they have been in a long time. The divorce rate peaked in the 1970s and early 1980s and has been declining for the three decades since.
About 70 percent of marriages that began in the 1990s reached their 15th anniversary (excluding those in which a spouse died), up from about 65 percent of those that began in the 1970s and 1980s. Those who married in the 2000s are so far divorcing at even lower rates. If current trends continue, nearly two-thirds of marriages will never involve a divorce, according to data from Justin Wolfers, a University of Michigan economist (who also contributes to The Upshot).There are many reasons for the drop in divorce, including later marriages, birth control and the rise of so-called love marriages. These same forces have helped reduce the divorce rate in parts of Europe, too.



Some of the decline in divorce clearly stems from the fact that fewer people are getting married — and some of the biggest declines in marriage have come among groups at risk of divorce. But it also seems to be the case that marriages have gotten more stable, as people are marrying later."

IMO, marrying later is a big factor and leads to more stability down the line.

 

LOL, looks like we noticed the same thing. I plan on getting married. I hope it works out well when I find a wife.

 

[YOUTUBE]d3DSQTDGMxY[/YOUTUBE]


When you run out of ideas, put this in and you are good for a month

 

Luther Vandross did a great cover of this.

 

I don't try to reach beyond I feel is my equal, either, but I know a lot of people do. And if they don't, that doesn't stop them from wanting it nevertheless. But you're quite right, that the longing can have you wishing for something that is never coming.

True. The consumerist ideal has extended to the society in general.