When you joined this forum - what was your story?

Unless the two you’re pursuing know about each other and you have some shared care plan situation going on, there’s nothing right about it. If there’s complete transparency across the three of you and that’s what floats your boat then cool.

But no man (or woman) can ‘have your cake and eat it too’ where genuine feelings are involved, because if they were you wouldn’t feel the urge to stray.

Some men may find it cool, but the women on the receiving end find it hurtful and deceptive once they find out and toying with a females feelings is a dangerous game to play.

I think once thoughts like you’re having manifest you know in your mind you’ll seek it out. I don’t believe anyone should stay in a situation they don’t feel happy in life is way too short to not be fulfilled whether by yourself or by someone else’s doing. If your foot is already half way out the door from lack of want or love than that’s quite sad and if it’s been that way then it’s likely it won’t change. I think your focal point needs to be what’s going on in your current situation and whether it’s repairable or a write off before you’re wondering how green the grass is on the white girls pad. Just remember not all white women are the same not all black women are the same.

What one white woman is willing to offer won’t be the same as the next. Women as a whole have evolved they know what they want, trust me - my ex ‘cancer’ crazy, narcissistic and abusive ass American bf thought he could bring his unrealistic level of dominance into my life because I’m a ‘submissive’ white woman, we are tolerable because Aussies are way too nice in general, but he soon found out what I wasn’t willing to except and ended terribly for him. I think maybe all white women were tolerable back in the day when our job was to wait on a man in the kitchen and allow him to make all money etc etc but now that we aren’t that way inclined we know we can still do bad on our own so our tolerance levels are different.

 

It's because chaos ensues, especially when both parties don't know.

 

So I guess I'll write this here.

I was married from age 21 to 36. My husband ended up being a totally different person than I thought he was. I decided to go out and try to meet people. Only people giving me serious attention were black guys, I ended up hooking up with one, it only lasted a couple days but not soon after I met another guy. It didn't work out either but I have found myself really attracted to black men now. I wanted to see if anyone had some of the same feelings/questions as me so I found this.

I have no idea why black guys were the only ones chatting me up, I know there are more factors than this but I saw some threads in the Locker Room forum, I'm blonde, short, have fake boobs (thanks ex hubby) and wear yoga pants even though I don't do yoga That might have played a part (no I didn't wear yoga pants to a club, but I did to the grocery store)

 

There's something in your personality that attracts a brother. It goes beyond looks and you are relaxed in speaking to them.

 

More comfortable in my second go with guys in general than the first, but that is probably just maturity. When the first guy chatted me up I thought it was a novelty but it quickly turned into more than that.

 

That's wonderful. It's going to a bit tough but, that homeboy will sweep you off your feet.