why would a women do this?

You said "its hard to see a woman or man to be abused , when in my mind i know they could do better."

Believe it or not, when they are in it - they are doing the very best they can.

I think you probably meant that it's hard to see because they could have so much more (better) in life.

 

oh i see. gotcha.

 

let me ask u this.
now im trying to wrap my mind around it. is abuse a learned state due to family life?

 

before and after the enlightment were there different type of guys u started dating?

 

It typically is. They had to learn it somewhere. Abuse is not a natural state.

 

I guess I'll say it since nobody else has the guts to... Some people simply love being in abusive relationships. Let's keep it honest and real y'all.

 

You are just saying this to get attention and create drama.
Bored and lonely lately?

 

Go to sleep.

 

He has a point look at Chris Brown and Rhianna for one. She had all the support and money a person could and still chose to be with someone who beat her up not to mention she started the fight. Some people either by nature or nurture see violence as love. A lot of people think if someone is willing to get so mad they must really care.

 

so you guys are saying people love physically fight each other as a sign of love?

 

Yes that's exactly what I'm saying. It's a cycle they probably grew up with and now see violence as a way of showing love

 

Exactly right.

Some people do not know what love looks or feels like. Some are never lucky enough to see real love in their lives and there are some people who don't witness love among their parents and other family members.

Abuse is real and alive. It takes a hold of people and turns a world inside out.

 

i see

 

And you go read a good book

 

Right on the money!

Whatever personal problem you have with me my dear, take it else where. This isn't the place. Thanks.

 

I think some people just really like the intensity and the drama. I have a couple of examples.

I knew this couple and they would go out to a club and flirt with other people, get all pissy jealous have MAJOR arguments/scenes physical and all, and then go home and have really hot sex. It was their thing.

My former brother in law was seeing a girl I grew up with. I get this call from him that he's afraid she might be abusing her child (he knows I'm a mandated reporter) she's not responding to calls or any attempts at contact. I'm able to contact her family members and the dad of the kid, they go over and pick the child up. A week or so later I finally hear from her. I'm thinking she's going to be PISSED that he started all this shit. Nope....she's all excited thinking that he really cares about her that he would get so jealous (she had been out with some friends and there were men there) that he would pull something. Never mind she could have lost her child over it all. His jealousy and crazy behavior kept escalating until she ended up moving to so cal. Even though she was afraid of him, she loved it all. In her case she didn't grow up with physical abuse, she grew up with mental and emotional abuse, she took it to physical when she got older and got involved with guys.

Some people need the fear/pain etc to get turned on. There are all types of people out there.

Like we said - it's usually pretty complicated.

 

That's not complicated, that's just what those people like. People make simple things more complicated than it needs to be. For people like these types of relationships, they like to use terms "it's complicated" to absolve themselves of any responsibility and continue to play victim when they are in fact an very willing participants.

If being abused wasn't universally shamed and frowned upon, I think you would see more honest forthcoming people who will say they enjoy those types of relationships.

 

which abuse?

 

Physical, emotional and mental abuse. It's almost as if you can't even call it abuse. Maybe their is an scientific term for it which I'm unaware of. For clarity, I'm speaking solely of people who enjoy these types of relationships.

 

i see. its crazy to me. i see this woman and hear stories of others and they stay together.

im gonna make sure my daughter dont get caught up like that.

ive seen men do the same too