Dating apps and IR

[meowkittenmeow]

Do no harm

Do onto others as you would want done to your own child.

You know I’m an atheist, right? Proverbs and scriptures, paraphrased or verbatim, bounce of my chest like bullets on Superman. I do not exist to appease the feelings/egos of random strangers on dating websites, black or non black.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

You still trying to tell people what to do?

I think he is trying to empathize with bw by assuming that every single black woman feels the exact same way he felt when he saw the “no black guys” profiles on dating sites.

It’s just different personalities. It’s difficult to be hurt by people who don’t want you. It’s pretty easy to swipe left or whatever and keep it moving. I do feel for brothas that aren’t attractive, or are super short, and so on, and I do talk about that from time to time, but getting hurt and broken over a profile page of someone you’ll never meet is Not something that happens to me at 38.

I think it would have bothered me to some degree in my 20s, but, like I said, different personalities.

To clarify, I would just write, “only interested in white women”, but I am open to asian, latin, etc.

 

[The Dark King]

I never claimed they were a monolith, I implied that it isn’t my responsibility to appease their fragile egos. Mind you, assuming that every black woman that approaches my page will be offended might also imply that black women are a monolith. But, I get it. You would rather I don’t post that, so that they can message me and just get rejected in their inbox. I don’t normally adjust my methods due to the feelings of random strangers but... Alright brotha, I’ll do that from now on so that you can sleep well at night.

Lol I appreciate you and I appreciate that.
I think knowing I'm going to be a father readjust your perspective a lot. Just want the world to be a little kinder and gentler for them. It was for us when I think about the harsh conditions of our ancestors all I can say is thank you and try to do better.

 

[The Dark King]

I think he is trying to empathize with bw by assuming that every single black woman feels the exact same way he felt when he saw the “no black guys” profiles on dating sites.

It’s just different personalities. It’s difficult to be hurt by people who don’t want you. It’s pretty easy to swipe left or whatever and keep it moving. I do feel for brothas that aren’t attractive, or are super short, and so on, and I do talk about that from time to time, but getting hurt and broken over a profile page of someone you’ll never meet is Not something that happens to me at 38.

I think it would have bothered me to some degree in my 20s, but, like I said, different personalities.

To clarify, I would just write, “only interested in white women”, but I am open to asian, latin, etc.

In my mind in just think compound effect. Just another part of society saying you aren't attractive. I don't go on dating sites haven't needed one for years now and even looking back it was 50/50 at best and that's not reply success rate that's rate of crazy to sane. We as black people (more so men) are bombarded with non stop images showing us in some way or another we aren't wanted welcomed or even deserve to exist in one way or another. So when I say do no harm all I'm saying there's way to express what we want without making someone feel like they aren't wanted. If they choose to ask why you didn't include bw in your list then that's on them.

Also funny to me how we're the same age and see life so differently. Guess maybe its because I'm not an atheist and I'm a leftie. Sorry just musing on this last part here.

 

[Madeleine]

You know I’m an atheist, right? Proverbs and scriptures, paraphrased or verbatim, bounce of my chest like bullets on Superman. I do not exist to appease the feelings/egos of random strangers on dating websites, black or non black.

That wasn’t Proverbs. Secondly, you don’t have to be a “believer” in order to believe what TDK wrote, imo.

 

[Madeleine]

For entertainment. Re-read the post using brain instead of emotion this time. WOW. LOLOL

I think there’s a reason why we have both, brain and emotions. There are some people who are really smart but emotionally completely incompetent. Then there are those who are all feelings and lack some pragmatism in life. I think it’s best to be smart and have some empathy as well.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

That wasn’t Proverbs. Secondly, you don’t have to be a “believer” in order to believe what TDK wrote, imo.

Please google what a “proverb” is, I wasn’t referring to the specific judeo-christian book.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

I think there’s a reason why we have both, brain and emotions. There are some people who are really smart but emotionally completely incompetent. Then there are those who are all feelings and lack some pragmatism in life. I think it’s best to be smart and have some empathy as well.

As I mentioned to TDK, it is not my job to appease the egos/insecurities of anyone. Seeing that someone says “No” to you, and still trying to argue your way into their life is predatory, I used to just be repulsed by the behavior, but now it’s just funny to me.

But, I get it, you and TDK endorse predatory behavior so long as it comes from black women. No worries, bud.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

Lol I appreciate you and I appreciate that.
I think knowing I'm going to be a father readjust your perspective a lot. Just want the world to be a little kinder and gentler for them. It was for us when I think about the harsh conditions of our ancestors all I can say is thank you and try to do better.

That was a joke, man. I don’t owe anyone “kindness”. My profiles will stay the same. Congratulations on becoming a father. That, however, has nothing to do with me and I have no interest in kowtowing to stroke the egos/insecurities of any group. So, you’re just going to have to get over it, bud.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

In my mind in just think compound effect. Just another part of society saying you aren't attractive. I don't go on dating sites haven't needed one for years now and even looking back it was 50/50 at best and that's not reply success rate that's rate of crazy to sane. We as black people (more so men) are bombarded with non stop images showing us in some way or another we aren't wanted welcomed or even deserve to exist in one way or another. So when I say do no harm all I'm saying there's way to express what we want without making someone feel like they aren't wanted. If they choose to ask why you didn't include bw in your list then that's on them.

Also funny to me how we're the same age and see life so differently. Guess maybe its because I'm not an atheist and I'm a leftie. Sorry just musing on this last part here.

I am sure this is full of emotions or sentiments that are meaningful to you, and that’s fine. Maybe even a little “differences of opinion” stuff. That is also fine. But, I am not reading all of that. I will say it one more time, and leave it at that.

IT IS NOT MY JOB TO STROKE THE EGOS OF INSECURE PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT CAN’T UNDERSTAND THAT NO MEANS NO. THAT IS PREDATORY BEHAVIOR AND I DO NOT OWE PREDATORS ANY EMPATHY.

Enjoy your day.

 

[qaz1]

“Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.”

~ Jean Racine

LOL! Are we certain Jean Racine wasn't actually the Joker (or at least the 17th century version/inspiration)?

 

[Madeleine]

As I mentioned to TDK, it is not my job to appease the egos/insecurities of anyone. Seeing that someone says “No” to you, and still trying to argue your way into their life is predatory, I used to just be repulsed by the behavior, but now it’s just funny to me.

But, I get it, you and TDK endorse predatory behavior so long as it comes from black women. No worries, bud.

That’s complete nonsense.

 

[Madeleine]

Lol I appreciate you and I appreciate that.
I think knowing I'm going to be a father readjust your perspective a lot. Just want the world to be a little kinder and gentler for them. It was for us when I think about the harsh conditions of our ancestors all I can say is thank you and try to do better.

Oh wow, congrats on becoming a father! It’s definitely life-changing.

 

[Madeleine]

In my mind in just think compound effect. Just another part of society saying you aren't attractive. I don't go on dating sites haven't needed one for years now and even looking back it was 50/50 at best and that's not reply success rate that's rate of crazy to sane. We as black people (more so men) are bombarded with non stop images showing us in some way or another we aren't wanted welcomed or even deserve to exist in one way or another. So when I say do no harm all I'm saying there's way to express what we want without making someone feel like they aren't wanted. If they choose to ask why you didn't include bw in your list then that's on them.

Also funny to me how we're the same age and see life so differently. Guess maybe its because I'm not an atheist and I'm a leftie. Sorry just musing on this last part here.

That’s why it’s so explosive in here.
Healthcare and and affordable college wouldn’t even make you a leftie in my parts . It’s real easy to be branded a left-extremist in the US, I reckon.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

That’s complete nonsense.

No means No, and attempting to coerce a yes out of a no when it comes to dating, sex, relationships, and so on is predatory behavior.

Attempting to convince me to empathize with that behavior, while simultaneously attempting to convince me, in conjunction with TDK’s argument that I am wrong for outwardly saying no is ”complete nonsense”.

 

[The Dark King]

I am sure this is full of emotions or sentiments that are meaningful to you, and that’s fine. Maybe even a little “differences of opinion” stuff. That is also fine. But, I am not reading all of that. I will say it one more time, and leave it at that.

IT IS NOT MY JOB TO STROKE THE EGOS OF INSECURE PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT CAN’T UNDERSTAND THAT NO MEANS NO. THAT IS PREDATORY BEHAVIOR AND I DO NOT OWE PREDATORS ANY EMPATHY.

Enjoy your day.

Who said you had to stroke anyone's ego. All I said was you didn't have to be a jerk about it.
Its like putting a sign on an establishment that says no blacks allowed and sure people can go somewhere else it just sucks to see. But hey do as you please. Honestly don't get why dudes like you engage anyone since its apparent your disdain for people and anything that resembles empathy.

 

[Madeleine]

No means No, and attempting to coerce a yes out of a no when it comes to dating, sex, relationships, and so on is predatory behavior.

Attempting to convince me to empathize with that behavior, while simultaneously attempting to convince me, in conjunction with TDK’s argument that I am wrong for outwardly saying no is ”complete nonsense”.

It’s really annoying you are trying to turn this into a „you support the predatory behaviour of black women“ thing. Nobody ever said your no should not be a no.
The question is, how do you present your disinterest in black woman. You think you need to state it upfront. TDK said he feels that’s not necessary and I agree. That still doesn’t oblige you in anyway to engage with bw. So you want to shut down discussion by accusing us of support of sexual predators?

 

[meowkittenmeow]

Who said you had to stroke anyone's ego. All I said was you didn't have to be a jerk about it.
Its like putting a sign on an establishment that says no blacks allowed and sure people can go somewhere else it just sucks to see. But hey do as you please. Honestly don't get why dudes like you engage anyone since its apparent your disdain for people and anything that resembles empathy.

You are attempting to relate the systematic oppression of Jim Crow and the civil rights era to me outwardly saying no to dating a certain group of people... Wow...

That is incredible reach Mr. Fantastic

I don’t hold disdain for everyone. I am simply, as a rape survivor, unwilling to date black women, it’s called PTSD. And I would rather post a “not interested” on my profile than to have someone come in my inbox and assume they have a chance only to get rejected.

Finally, my amusement comes from people who see it (mostly black women) and attempt to coerce me into giving them a chance, when I already said no in my profile. I used to get upset and relive portions of what happened to me, but now I laugh it off and write it off as just another predatory person.

But, for someone who, two to three years ago, laughed at an article of a man who refused a blowjob while being held at gunpoint and implied something was wrong with him for not wanting it, I am not remotely surprised by your stance on this. Good luck with your thought process.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

It’s really annoying you are trying to turn this into a „you support the predatory behaviour of black women“ thing. Nobody ever said your no should not be a no.
The question is, how do you present your disinterest in black woman. You think you need to state it upfront. TDK said he feels that’s not necessary and I agree. That still doesn’t oblige you in anyway to engage with bw. So you want to shut down discussion by accusing us of support of sexual predators?

Attempting to get me to empathize with predatory people who can’t respect that no means no is the problem, plain and simple. I say no in whichever way I choose, and I have no interest in empathizing with those who do not respect my boundaries.

I will add, that the difference between you and TDK is that you came into the conversation late. His issue was in regards to me finding it funny that in spite of me outwardly expressing my boundaries, that some bw would message me and attempt to coerce me into giving them a chance. Which is just plain predatory. He was upset that I thought it was funny. You would have to go a couple pages back to see that.

I assumed you read the argument from the very start, but, apparently you didn’t. Therefore, I would suggest that you look for the very beginning of the argument before trying to hop in.

If you had followed from the very beginning of the argument, you would see that I posted that I am not interested in Black women to avoid the awkward conversation in my inbox, and you would have also seen that I was laughing at the fact that some black women felt the need to come in my inbox and yell at me as if I owed my body to black women or tried to convince me that I owe black women a chance.

Essentially, if you went online and said you weren’t interested in white men, and then periodically getting bombarded by white men that felt entitled to your body, looks, success, simply because you are both white, when you specifically set boundaries and said no in the beginning. Which I will say that various white women in this forum and in my every day life have actively talked about and voiced their distaste for.

 

[qaz1]

Attempting to get me to empathize with predatory people who can’t respect that no means no is the problem, plain and simple. I say no in whichever way I choose, and I have no interest in empathizing with those who do not respect my boundaries.

I will add, that the difference between you and TDK is that you came into the conversation late. His issue was in regards to me finding it funny that in spite of me outwardly expressing my boundaries, that some bw would message me and attempt to coerce me into giving them a chance. Which is just plain predatory. He was upset that I thought it was funny. You would have to go a couple pages back to see that.

I assumed you read the argument from the very start, but, apparently you didn’t. Therefore, I would suggest that you look for the very beginning of the argument before trying to hop in.

If you had followed from the very beginning of the argument, you would see that I posted that I am not interested in Black women to avoid the awkward conversation in my inbox, and you would have also seen that I was laughing at the fact that some black women felt the need to come in my inbox and yell at me as if I owed my body to black women or tried to convince me that I owe black women a chance.

Essentially, if you went online and said you weren’t interested in white men, and then periodically getting bombarded by white men that felt entitled to your body, looks, success, simply because you are both white, when you specifically set boundaries and said no in the beginning. Which I will say that various white women in this forum and in my every day life have actively talked about and voiced their distaste for.

So black women who message you are analogous to rapists, which you find funny?