Fellas, this is primarily for you. However, ladies please feel free to add your thoughts and experiences. As you know for years BM (in America) have had to battle the stigma of the 'Angry Black Male', amongst other preconceived stereotypes. I think this is particularly troublesome in the corporate world where Eurocentric images/standards are far more prevalent. However, this applies to any BM in any line of work. :?:My question to the fellas: Do you take pains to project a certain image in the workplace? If you have, what's your experience? Ladies: Are you more apprehensive when you first meet a BM in the workplace? Or, are you more receptive due to your preference/objectivity for BM? Do you initially share the 'Mainstream's' perception of BM? The reason I ask is because my persona at work and outside of work (as well as online) is almost completely the opposite. I'm fortunate enough to know how to operate in different crowds and environments. Hence, I know I can't take the 'Casual' Intrigue to work...I wouldn't last, my temperament would only perpetuate stereotypes. Due to my calculated efforts, I've been able to build very good relationships with people from very different walks of life. Something I seem unable to do outside of work. However, would you feel you're not being true to yourself? What's your perspective? There's no right or wrong answer, perhaps a 'better' and 'best' answer. Just candid dialogue. Be easy Family:smt029
Good thread Intrigue. I have the kind of personality that is very non-threatening, simply because i stay away from people and keep to myself. To be honest, i've been a student for most of my life, and have never really been in the corporate world yet, but i'm fairly certain that when i get there, some adjustments will have to be made. I will probably have to make sure my hair is cleanly cut (don't want to alarm anybody if it's too high, i hear afros and braids are a no-go), i will probably have to take out my earrings, wear business suits, and i would probably have to walk on egg shells, as to not give them the wrong impression about me....that i'm uneducated, and don't know how to speak to people in a professional manner. Like i said, i've never been in the corportate world, but these are things that i'm "assuming" will take place when i finally get there. As a black man in the corportate world, i think more often times than not, it will always be an adjustment, personality wise.
I see what you're saying. I've never encountered "the angry black man" in the work place. However, I made two assumptions, based on stereotypes, about my husband when I first met him in the work place: He's a player and I'm not the type of girl that black men like. (Ok, so he was a bit of a player and he referred to his girlfriend at the time as "the figurehead" but I digress . . .) At this particular job we were all close at work and outside of work. The black men did act more serious and less casual at work but don't we all? Or at least, shouldn't we? Btw, it'd be just fine with me if you put your picture back in your avatar now.
Black men that I know who have been very successful in business have definitely gone beyond when it comes to how they dress and carry themselves in the workplace. I'm talking mostly about the late 30 and over crowd. But if I think about the young hot shots that are making their way, they do as well. Those who do best seem to be very good at being able to fit well into any situation. It goes beyond dress and demeanor....they go the extra mile to be more educated, well read, better informed, etc. I don't have any more apprehension when meeting a black man than anyone else....in any setting. I don't agree with the Angry Black Man stuff at all. It simply hasn't been my experience. I've come across maybe 2 who had the attitude and if you took a look at their life it was clear that they were their own worst enemy and they were much more interested in complaining and blaming anyone and anything else rather than doing something about it in life. I'm surprised that you haven't been able to build friendships outside of work with people from varying backgrounds. Maybe you need to take a similar approach outside of work as you take within the workplace.
I agree. Chameleon qualities and all. That's helpful for anyone to have. However, black men have to be so careful, it seems. Can't be too "black" for the white folks in your life and can't be too "white" for your black peers.
I wouldn't say that I take pains because I find the workplace environment comfortable and conducive to my nature. I have noticed that over the years people that I encounter who are not black are much more comfortable meeting me for the first time in a work environment than they would be say, on a dark street at night.
8)This would make a great thread. Don't answer this question here, but what kind of women do WW 'think' BM like? ....somebody start this up. I've hit my quota for the year. LOL!!! Thank you beautiful. Perhaps when K decides she will help me on the technical end, I'll put a better pic up.
Exactly. Then they start getting called all sorts of lovely names. It amazes me that there are those who think that to be well educated, mannered, and carry oneself well means they are some sort of sell out. I think the important thing is that he knows who he is and that doesn't change. The "uniform", etc may be appropriate to the situation, that doesn't mean that he's a different person. To me that is no different than that I'm not going to wear jeans to a formal event, or a formal gown to a backyard bbq! It simply means the person is smart enough to know what works and is appropriate to any given situation.
K, that's an excellent point. However, in the workplace, I take a far more diplomatic stance than I ever would outside of work. A) To ensure that I don't 'intimidate' those who have little contact with BM other than the nightly news. B) To demonstrate my ability to facilitate teamwork and prompt resolution. C) To foster those all important relationships with the 'important' people (yes, politics). So there are some cultural compromises I would only make during business hrs. I guess I just suck that way. Outside of work...you can kiss my black ass.
That's true. You know, I can tell which friend hubby is on the phone with by the way he's talking, the words he uses, his articulation, etc. We talked about that one day and he said that you have to meet people where they are otherwise they will think you are trying to be better than them or they will look down on you for not being better.
This is very, very true. I use that saying all the time. When you surround yourself with people you consider "better" than you, they force you to be better simply by their influence in your life. Hence, your demeanor adapts accordingly. You have to raise your game.
Ah, yeah, there is the occasional rubbing and what not. Seriously, he's opened my eyes to a lot of things. I wouldn't say I was ever racist but there was a lot about which I was simply clueless until he patiently explained how things really are.
Dialogue. Simple dialogue could teach us all a lot. Considering he's your mate, you were open to what he had to say and I assume you might also be subjected to some of the same issues. Most don't want to acknowledge it or they simply aren't exposed to it. Hence they this it's "crying wolf".
I think this is exactly why some black men prefer ww who have been involved in relationships with bm.
it's tricky, that's for sure i've been called "the angry black man" i just try and chill at work, and every 15th and 30, get my money CIDA POP
No image projection needed I just do me and doing me is behaving like everyone else. NORMAL. I use zero profanity at work and I am a gutter mouth really but I have noticed that a large number of white guys curse up a freakin storm...
Well that's your prerogative. If you are really wanting to create friendships with people from varying backgrounds...then you'll figure out a way to do so. Personally, I can get along with just about anyone in a professional setting. In my personal life, I'm very selective about who I have sticking around.
