Well i want to say this. you have the right to be confused and/or frustrated, if that's how you feel.
A good friend of mine who travels around europe has said the same things that black african men sometimes get a bad rap.
but it really does depend on who you are surrounded with.
two links could help clear things up for you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_yellow
http://www.library.yale.edu/~fboateng/akata.htm
this is just my personal opinion. it may very be flawed but its just my opinion. when you look at the history of our country and black people and standards for looks, culture clash and black history.
And when you consider what is looked at as standards for what is desirable it puts LOTS of africans / african americans at a HUGE disadvantage as far as opportunities to have dates/friends etc., here in the USA when dating inside our race. But it makes it even more of an issue for man going outside of his race.
But it even makes it almost impossible for a man of color who doesn't have the looks, the money, the status etc., when trying to get with american white women. Especially if he is African.
Our country is always changing. and times are changing. but some things will never change.
and that's just based on LOOKs and background.
i now see that all cultures / ethnicities have their own unique brand of self-hate. its not just us black people (africans-african-americans)
but relating it to your question. Its a thing of WHO you surround yourself with and what challenges you face.
I'm actually returning to Howard University next month. I took a 5 year break. Howard is a HBCU. I don't know much about NYU or the demographics there.
But the possibility of your being a MINORITY is very strong.
i do realize that there is a strong international presence here in the forums so i'm speaking from the perspective of someone who's here in Washington DC / Maryland.
but when talking about black people (african americans) there is a STANDARD for male and female beauty. Sure there will always be exceptions.
It is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
but my experience has been that in order to have friends and dates and be respected on the male side you have to look like LL Cool J, Will Smith, or Shemar Moore
and on the female side BW feel the pressure to look like Beyonce, Alicia Keyes, Mariah Carrey, Rhianna, Halle Berry, Gabrielle Union etc.,
and for black men what you might not have in looks you'll have to make up for this in personality, money, talent and or status.
ie. you're rich, you have a nice car, nice clothes, or a great body (meaning your a bodybuilder and you workout) etc.,
I personally have always been in situations where High Yellow & Pretty is the standard for beauty as far as black people go.
And even the american white people around me most of my life whether they be men or women prefered the high yellow standard as well if they ever considered race mixing with black people.
But its not always a case of high yellow. not all fair skin black people are exactly handsome-pretty people. And not all dark-caramel complextion black people are ugly either.
but let me say this i'm now starting to see that what is considered undesireable here in the USA is thoguht to be exotic and beautiful in other parts of the world.
recently a german girl told me that i had a beautiful contagious smile. But most of my life i have always thought myself to be very average if not passable.
about 5 yrs ago. i knew a guy from inidia who had a nigerian girlfriend. And as far as the standard for black looks are in the USA she would be considered very very average looking , chubby nigerian girl. But this indian guy made her out to be this nubian princess that would be the mother of his children oneday.
But trust me. if he were raised in the USA he would not even consider the nigerian girl to be attactive to him.
As far as African-Culture - and background clashing with other cultures etc., and how african-men get a bad rap because of streotypes. i'm not really an expert on this.
a comedian named Michael Blackson makes fun of himself (his looks, his color, his african culture and so on) he is funny but its actually sad that he has to dump on himself in this way and men like him to make a career for himself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCmsMoOiRY0&feature=fvst
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrRCToE1FwY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct5XknvbErI&feature=related
My suggestion is to try as hard as you can to take care of yourself - physically - meaning exercise and try to put yourself in a situation where you not around people who do not have bulit up hostility and/or lack of respect for you. ie.,. stuck up people who look down on africans
me personally i plan on guiding myself into a career situation where i live in another culture that values my manhood in Europe (ie France, Germany, Sweden) and that way i think i'll find my happiness there.
because i simply can't stand the non-sense i go thru here in the states within my own race-peer group and outside of my race with others (especially certain kinds of white americans)
:smt060
