i love how 90% of the threads have to turn into how the ww are too old, too fat, not this, not that...wow...honestly some of you really shouldn't be even considering dating ww if you harbor all of these negative feelings...why are you all so worried about how you are perceived by other people...that is a self esteem issue...that's on you...you have to own it...in the meantime, the women are frolicking about enjoying men for just being men...i think the regular men thread is a perfect example...it's tough for us as women to look at men we know as regular...women have a tendency to capitalize on the fabulous...we can find something fabulous in just about everyone...
this is how it goes...turning negatives into positives
he's a little chubby vs. he sure loves my cooking and always praises me
he's quite a bit older but oooooooo so wise
he's a little immature but i enjoy his playfulness
he's doesn't have a job but he is out there looking everyday
he doesn't have a car but have you checked out his ass on a bicycle
he has a job but doesn't make alot of money vs. together we are making it just fine and find lots of fun things to do for free
i could go on for days
I clearly hear what you are saying. But, are you giving too much credit to your sisters for not being judgmental?
As a newer member to the forum I remember asking whether the forum was a place where people might connect with others. The responses posted indicated that the forum is a place for discussions of IR issues and for support of those in relationships or interested in being in such relationships.
Given that backdrop, for the sake of discussion, members looking for support of IR relationships might find it disheartening to read things that make them feel judged. Not many people would want to be judged by the population of people, either BM or WW, with whom they desire a loving relationship.
The issue is that people do have preferences, some more than others. But, every one of those preferences may touch a nerve with another person hoping to find love in the real world. Given that most people freely express their opinions in an online forum you can then expect people to react negatively to what they read, and obviously things can get heated, as demonstrated often on this forum.
So, now we get back to the question in my first sentence. I may not always agree with Andrae, and he may have a tendency to restate his feelings too often for some, but is he wrong in believing that women are also judgmental and therefore they are are inconsistent when they criticize him?
While you have suggested that "women find something fabulous in everyone", there are threads and posts that would suggest this is not so clear. In different posts and threads women have stated their "opinion" (preference) regarding height, age and job status, and perhaps others though these stand out.
In both cases people are sharing opinions. Adrea looks at scenarios, uses his personal filters, and says, I don't want that, but it's fine for the people doing it. Women may not insert their opinions in so many scenarios, but their opinions are nonetheless made clear. Does it really matter if you "killed" by an bazooka or a "slingshot". If you have experienced feeling judged, you may be offended, period.
IMO, Andrea is justified in saying that there's a double standard, given the comments I made earlier. As this is a public forum I can't imagine anyone is going to feel less prone toward sharing their "opinion", so either everyone has to become a lot more accepting of others regarding potential relationships, or not complain when someone touches one of their sensitivities.
We can take bets on the odds of either of those two things happening...