The Negative Thread

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LA said:
Exactly. All I'm sayin is, the guy doesn't need status and all this money to get women. He just needs to come correct. :)
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But he's good looking...that's generally an equalizer. So why do guys often lament that "all the good guys/nice guys finish last?" :eek:
 
Kunoichi said:
But he's good looking...that's generally an equalizer. So why do guys often lament that "all the good guys/nice guys finish last?" :eek:
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In the F community - that word people don't like to hear, we have a running Nice Guy trademark reference. Usually means some dude who thinks he deserves a cookie for behaving like a decent human being towards women. If being "nice" and I use the quotation marks deliberately, doesn't result in women falling at his feet and offering up pussy, they make the assumption that women are all just bitchez after money and status.

What it really turns out to be is that they *are not* nice guys, they are guys who think not being an utter douchebag means they should get all the top ranked women in the world, and that fake niceness is their own PU line. Tends not to work, because they've missed the point.
 
The Dark Knight said:
Hope that ass kissing gets you somewhere broad st. Lol

Funny thing is you've agreed with me and even said the same thing yourself about stacking to get the chick you want.
Real recognize real and you ain't looking too familiar homie lol
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recognize steel then mothafucka :o

LA said:
You and your Jay-Z references. :rolleyes:
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that song was tight..im about to bump that jawn tonight..thanks for the reminder NYC
 
Didn't you tell me I cqnt tell you what women want so how can you tell me what men want? And truthfully men don't generally care about a woman's income since
1. We aren't raised with the social conception that a womans salary will contribute to our lives. We are taught throw social cues that men take care of ourselves and rarely ask for help.

2. Men are generally visual and notice your looks way before you're education and/or paycheck.

Other men have posted this before on here(you guys love to use that line)

TreePixie said:
You keep moving the goalposts, DK. Frankly, status is bullshit and everyone knows it, over the age of 22, anyway. And money is only means to an end. I don't consider it at all when deciding who to day, and it's got nothing whatsoever to do with who I fall in love with. You seem to leave love out of the equation, which is fine if that's not what you're looking for, but if all you're looking for is surface shit, that's likely what you'll get judged on too.

You think in this day and age men *never* think about the income a woman brings to the table? There are as many men attracted to women's money as vice versa. People who are shallow are...well, shallow.
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The Dark Knight said:
Didn't you tell me I cqnt tell you what women want so how can you tell me what men want? And truthfully men don't generally care about a woman's income since
1. We aren't raised with the social conception that a womans salary will contribute to our lives. We are taught throw social cues that men take care of ourselves and rarely ask for help.

2. Men are generally visual and notice your looks way before you're education and/or paycheck.

Other men have posted this before on here(you guys love to use that line)
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U kidding? In this day on age. Most men expect their wives to work and contribute. and rightfully so. If you mean in dating, sure but you should not as a man, contribute to a woman's life either. If you find a woman that expects that from you. RUN!
 
Kunoichi said:
But he's good looking...that's generally an equalizer. So why do guys often lament that "all the good guys/nice guys finish last?" :eek:
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They keep acting like all that shit is irrelevant when most of them would be wetter than a water fall after a rainstorm if a great looking successful guy with a good personality apporached them.

I am really beginning to see more of what's going on here
 
Trust me I agree but its never part of my selection process. At this point just be attractive intelligent and give me space. That's all I need and I'm golden. No emotional or financial support just have some laughs with me and i'll take care of the rest. Basically don't be an achor and you'll have a man that adores you and makes you a priority.
FG said:
U kidding? In this day on age. Most men expect their wives to work and contribute. and rightfully so. If you mean in dating, sure but you should not as a man, contribute to a woman's life either. If you find a woman that expects that from you. RUN!
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FG said:
Of course money is important, you have to have a roof over ones head and eat. That is not the same thing as needing a lot of it. Two different discussions. I think everybody agrees that money is important, but that does not equal that the man needs to make more than average amt of money to date.

That is what we originally was discussing. I think where the miss- communication here lays in is that Drae was talking about making more than just average money and that is what women are looking for, money and a career in the man.
I don't give a shit what he now say that is not what he said - it WAS. That is what this whole argument really is about.

There is a difference between talking about the importance of money and if men has to make lots of it and that its a determining factor in dateability.

I think that is proven wrong by just looking at the average marriage, they are mostly regular income people (just by default, that is the majority of the country) and most people have relatively modest requirements in regards to money.
Women, for the most part date and marry average income men. That there are plenty of women that exclusively go for the men with lots of money, career, status, we all know. Plenty of them, still not the general woman.

The point we were making w Drae is that is not an accurate general view of women. Most women just go w regular dudes with regular jobs and regular paychecks.

Will more money increase your dating pool? Is money important Of course, but the point still stands.
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Well Bookie and I were having a different discussion in that particular post.


As for the original discussion, Andrae asked if wealth was an attractive quality. He didn't ask if it was the only one.

But the responses were very clear...which was that the money a man makes does not factor in any shape or form in helping to decide on a relationship.

In the sole example that was used where it might factor in (and later used to represent all the women in the forums thinking), it didn't even register in the "Top 10 Things I Want in a Mate". The top ten! I mean I have to ask - exactly how many other qualities are more important- does having a great income really fall below "#10: wears matching socks" lol?? I'm kinda sensing a bit of PC on it, that's all.
Because it makes me wonder if two similarly, nice-personalitied men were genuinely wooing you, and one dined you at the local chinese takeout each night and rode you home on the bus while the other dined you at Le Bec Fin and drove you to your doorstep in a car each night, who would you gravitate towards?


I do understand your point when you cite the proof is in the numbers of women who marry average-incomed men, but as Saty pointed out; "by sheer numbers alone most men and women are not wealthy". So just by economic dating pool choices, most women WILL end up meeting and marrying average-incomed men, even if their prefer it to be otherwise, no?

I personally don't mind either way if a guy I like is wealthy or not, but I would never, ever knock a man's wealthiness down to be a negative..c'mon now. If he was wealthy, it would surely add to our life, not negate it OR our relationship, nor would I run from it based on a belief that he must be an asshole because he's well off.
 
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TreePixie said:
In the F community - that word people don't like to hear, we have a running Nice Guy trademark reference. Usually means some dude who thinks he deserves a cookie for behaving like a decent human being towards women. If being "nice" and I use the quotation marks deliberately, doesn't result in women falling at his feet and offering up pussy, they make the assumption that women are all just bitchez after money and status.

What it really turns out to be is that they *are not* nice guys, they are guys who think not being an utter douchebag means they should get all the top ranked women in the world, and that fake niceness is their own PU line. Tends not to work, because they've missed the point.
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:smt081 @ 'F' community!
 
Kunoichi said:
Well Bookie and I were having a different discussion in that particular post.


As for the original discussion, Andrae asked if wealth was an attractive quality. He didn't ask if it was the only one.

But the responses were very clear...which was that the money a man makes does not factor in any shape or form in helping to decide on a relationship.

In the sole example that was used where it might factor in (and later used to represent all the women in the forums thinking), it didn't even register in the "Top 10 Things I Want in a Mate". The top ten! I mean I have to ask - exactly how many other qualities are more important- does having a great income really fall below "#10: wears matching socks" lol?? I'm kinda sensing a bit of PC on it, that's all.
Because it makes me wonder if two similarly, nice-personalitied men were genuinely wooing you, and one dined you at the local chinese takeout each night and rode you home on the bus while the other dined you at Le Bec Fin and drove you to your doorstep in a car each night, who would you gravitate towards?


I do understand your point when you cite the proof is in the numbers of women who marry average-incomed men, but as Saty pointed out; "by sheer numbers alone most men and women are not wealthy". So just by economic dating pool choices, most women WILL end up meeting and marrying average-incomed men, even if their prefer it to be otherwise, no?

I personally don't mind either way if a guy I like is wealthy or not, but I would never, ever knock a man's wealthiness down to be a negative..c'mon now. If he was wealthy, it would surely add to our life, not negate it OR our relationship, nor would I run from it based on a belief that he must be an asshole because he's well off.
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I know you did.. but as it wasn't a part of the original issue, so I was just going back to that. And Drae did not ask if it was -he stated it was - and he has continued to do so - stack papers to get the girl you want....

On the whole point of Saty's post and your last statement- that is my whole point and what I have been arguing all along - and that, is substantial in regards to what Drae is stating.

Statistics prove him wrong in his "must stack papers".
He even said that this is what he has to deal with dating and actually said it was the norm.
Have you missed all those gazillion posts he has made on that subject.

Right now I think he goes back and fort with that whole "stacking papers to get the girl you want" just look above on his latest post. That is the whole premise on my argument.
Most women don't need you to stack papers to get her. They exist everywhere but it is not the average woman.

Knocking wealth down to a negative?? where, I don't even recall that being a part of this discussion and it certainly has not had anything to do with mine.

Right now, he has completely muddled the discussion and I don't know where his goal post is anymore. At this point, at least 4 people that has followed this discussion has mention that so I am not the only one.

I think for the most part we are in agreement though.

My only, and I state that again, only, mission if you will, in this is to clarify that the average woman don't need you to "stack the papers" to get her. That is all. Not about the personality traits of wealthy men, or the significance of stable economy in a relationship. I'm talking regular people in regular relationships and regular dating scenes with regular expectations.
 
The Dark Knight said:
Trust me I agree but its never part of my selection process. At this point just be attractive intelligent and give me space. That's all I need and I'm golden. No emotional or financial support just have some laughs with me and i'll take care of the rest. Basically don't be an achor and you'll have a man that adores you and makes you a priority.
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Ok, that response don't make sense in reference to my post. btw, why would you not havegive emotional support - I think that is the basis of any relationship. Oh edit - unless its a sexually based relationship.

I think attractive, intelligent and giving you space is perfect. The rest will fall into place.
 
The Dark Knight said:
Didn't you tell me I cqnt tell you what women want so how can you tell me what men want? And truthfully men don't generally care about a woman's income since
1. We aren't raised with the social conception that a womans salary will contribute to our lives. We are taught throw social cues that men take care of ourselves and rarely ask for help.

2. Men are generally visual and notice your looks way before you're education and/or paycheck.

Other men have posted this before on here(you guys love to use that line)
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I'm not telling you what all men want. I'd be stunned to discover that a woman's income doesn't play into things in the same way in this economy. Two incomes are needed for a middle class lifestyle.

Men may notice looks first - guess what? So do women. If you're standing in a bar or walking down the street, I have no clue how much money you make - but I sure as hell notice if you're hot.
 
The Dark Knight said:
They keep acting like all that shit is irrelevant when most of them would be wetter than a water fall after a rainstorm if a great looking successful guy with a good personality apporached them.

I am really beginning to see more of what's going on here
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No one's saying "ewwww I would never date a successful man." They're saying that money isn't what they're looking for, it's personality.

It's like...if a woman with a great personality, who was sexually attractive to you also happened to be a neurosurgeon with a successful practice, that would be a bonus, not the main thing.
 
Nerdy Girl said:
Great idea for a thread, and I'm going to use it to say so long to this forum. I'm not sorry I came back because in some ways I've been richly rewarded for my presence here. At the same time, this forum of late has been neither edifying nor entertaining. There's always been an undercurrent of sexism, but lately this place might as well be called blackhe-manwomenhatersclub.com. It's not fun, and I won't be back.

Members of the BHMWHC - including karma, MrF, Frederick, petty, and probably others I've left out - I have a newsflash for you: the problem is NOT with every single American woman. The problem is with you. I don't doubt that you all have problems in your relationships. You choose to attribute these to racism, apparently, but the problems actually stem from the fact that you're assholes. You probably experience other problems due to racism, but you'd have the very same relationship problems if you were as white as Casper the friendly ghost.

And MrF, oh great macho provider man, next time you change your alias on here, how about something to honor the special bond you share with the woman who continues to provide for you?

[youtube]n6AFuOStXGQ[/youtube]

Apparently, though, you don't live in the basement... you really told me, Motherboy!

Oh, and Tamstrong, your invisible friend Jesus said many things, including this:

You might do well to consider that before you start calling people "Jethro" or "white trash."

Many of you guys are great and I've enjoyed interacting with you. Sadly, the BHMWHC has changed the tenor of the forum as a whole, and I suspect that this place will soon be nothing but cavemen and the women who encourage them. Enjoy your "in charge" black men, ladies. I'm out of here! :smt039
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Don't worry Nerdy, we will persist. Hopefully you'll reconsider and post, or just lurk here to see what's going on.

You also forgot to mention Goodlove, he's part of the BHMWHC too. He said that Inner Beauty was nasty or something in a thread about Kate Gosselin dating.
 
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