ehh, i think it depends on your lifestyle and the date. ive always been a believer in not letting the price dictate where i go, if im feeling someone and going to take her out on a date it will be memorable. in my experience i have never had a crap date, maybe its just me though.
You never had a crap date yet you wanted to run away quicker than Usain Bolt from the date with the lady with a humongous forehead? Or the other one from match.com? I'm confused. Anyway i don't think its a lifestyle issue. I could be earnin a 6 to 7 figure salary and be a regular at swanky restaurants but still get mad for wasting a tad too many benjamins on a date which didnt go well.
there is a difference between a first date and a initial meet and greet. would you get mad if you have a set budget for dinning? i doubt it...
Dude go back amd read your response on page 2 to a post. You initially said you have never had a bad date then you said you have had 2 bad dates and went on to elaborate the big forehead and the match.com thing so i assumed it was they were dates. Now to the budget thing yes i would still be mad if i made a budget for an upscale restaurant and still had a crap date because i would still feel it was a waste of money.
valid point, i shouldve clarified a bit more. there is a hugh difference between you and I, not saying anything is wrong with that but i dont put much value on money and how it makes me feel.
I am thoroughly confused with all the money talk. A first date should be Dutch. In fact, all dates should be, unless is a birthday or a special celebration of something. Maybe it's just me, but I believe in paying my own way, thank you.
I dont think a first date should be dutch unless the one being asked out suggests it. The one asking the other for a date should be prepared to pay for a date. Maybe you are in the minority but a lot of women will see a man as a cheapskate if he asks a woman out and suggest they go dutch.
I suppose there is an argument for whoever asks, pays. But since men are overwhelmingly the askers, I think that isn't fair. A first date is a chance to get to know someone you're interested in. Interest should be a two way street, otherwise I won't go on the date to begin with. So I think splitting the bill is fair, and it eliminates the edge for those few assholes who think buying you a steak means they are entitled to your body. If I pay my own way, and I'm willing to sleep with man, he knows it's because I want him, not because I am obligated.
Fantastic points made. If only the current generation of young women who have such an annoying self entitlement had that way of thinking the dating world be a better place.
Exactly! I'm happy to pay my way on a first date I can't remember the last time a man actually let me pay though...usually they're determined to cover it. I figure expectations are more clear if I offer (and intend) to cover my own tab. It's worked ok so far!
Maybe it has something to do with having come to both political and dating consciousness in the 70s, during the second wave of feminism. Back then, a guy who took you to dinner did expect something in return. This was post-pill, post-sexual revolution and Pre-AIDS. We were often confronted with 'but you can't get pregnant so you should fuck me.' We were barely able to own the right to say yes, and couldn't rely on tropes of the previous generation to say no. Paying your own way was a means of maintaining your own personhood and agency in the situation. It just always seemed fair to me. And it freed me from worrying about what a man did for a living - I wasn't looking for a partner to boost my financial standing, I've always had my own.
I was sent a good article on the appropriate restaurants for a first date i thought id share. http://www.askmen.com/fine_living/wine_and_dine_archive/11_wine_dine.html
I don't care how wonderful a guy is or how great a time I would have with him - I'd still be offended if he took me to Mickey D's for a first date. That tells me what he thnks of me - not a whole lot if I'm only worth a Big Mac. Doesn't mean he has to take me to an expensive place, but let it at least be a cut above a fast food place. Now if it's just a meet-and-greet, I'm fine with a sundae off the dollar menu.
I've been wanting McDonald's for the last 2-ish weeks. If someone decided to take me there, I'd think they're pretty awesome ...*texts sister*
Maybe not McDonald's but we could do a fast food place like Smash Burger which is the same price but different atmosphere. Dinner is about us getting to know each other not filling your belly with fine wine and meats.
