So, say you are talking about marriage and are preparing to take it to the next step. Your fiance has school loans and you agree to pay them so long as it is annotated on a prenuptial agreement. Your partner gets upset and feels that you don't love them. In addition, your partner previously agreed to a prenuptial agreement and now doesn't feel comfortable with it anymore. What would you do?

 

Don't get married.

 

'Annotated'?? You mean counted against her payout in the prenuptial agreement?lol

My opinion is unless your net worth is in excess of seven figures or high six figures, or you are on your 2nd+ marriage, most people need to stop tripping with these prenups.

It's not the most romantic way to start off a marriage and there's nothing wrong with being a fool for love ONCE.:freehug:

 

Annotated sounds less abrasive...LOL

I understand your opinion. I haven't really given many details about myself. I just wanted an affirmation that I made the right decision. There are certain things to take into consideration when evaluating current worth vs. projected worth. For instance, the possible loss of my home, future children and custody battles, financial growth through investments, current income, basically all current and future assets. I am not sure if I agree with your comment. "there's nothing wrong with being a fool for love ONCE". But, I really appreciate you taking the time to comment.

 

Thank you for the short advice.

 

Drama-free is the way to be.

 

Don't get married....I second that...

 

It's simple, marriage is not only about love, you are entering a legally binding, GOVERNMENT SANCTIONED contract with very real consequences should said marriage end. You never want the government to have complete control over what happens to your finances. Whether it's taxes, estate planning, pre-nup, ect., if you leave all the decisions/power in the hands of the government, you better bend over, grab your ankles and a LARGE tube of lube.

I tell my clients all the time, everyone has a last will and testament whether they know it or not, if you don't have a written plan for your assets the government will be GLAD to step in to redistribute them, and you WILL NOT like the results.

 

Thank you. I already broke it off. I am just asking to get a better feeling about my decision.

 

If I enter a marriage with debt, I would expect to continue paying that debt. Now, my husband may have to shoulder the expenses of running the home, but he would have to do that single or married. So why would he have to agree to pay my debt? I mean, he is helping to do so by allowing me to put all/most of my earnings towards my debt & not the mortgage or household expenses but he's not outright covering my debt. FTR, I don't like pre-nups.

 

What do you have against prenups?

 

It boils a loving, spiritual relationship down to a financial arrangement, imo.

 

I hear what you are saying Ches, however nobody can get legally married without a license from the government. Every state has laws in place regarding the distribution of assets in case of divorce, so there is *already* a prenup in place whenever a marriage takes place. The only question is if either of you want the government to have all the power to decide or if you yourselves want to decide what would happen financially.

 

I understand the premise of making note of the debt paid in the event things sour. I also think that most dont necessarily need a prenuptial agreement entering into a union since they likely earn the average income. I also understand the potential to earn income and investments over time builds. So I don't have a problem with prenups in general. However, like others have stated, its not the most romantic way to enter said union, not to mention the fact that little details like that can harbor ill feelings, taking away from the spiritual and emotional bond the union is about all together.

This can be a sensitive subject, but I think if approached gently, is a smart thing to do. Especially if there is a lot of money involved.

 

To me a pre nup says basically I know this isnt going to work out in the long run.... I don't see the point of getting married if your already know the outcome.

 

This is exactly the way I see it.

 

If it was , let's say a 20 K dept, I probably wouldn't bother, but most student loans are humongous, and what if your just married a few years, you get screwed. I think the 'change her mind' would make me suspicious.

If I would get married, I would have a prenup, to protect both partners. Most likely, I would marry some one with kids and IF my husband died before me, any money should go to them and not me. I also would like to protect my assets that i have worked on for decades. So, to have an agreement in place that mine is mine and yours is yours and then you have one joint account for scared expenses sounds very reasonable at my age.

 

Right, there are legalities that regulate the distribution of assets. So does a pre-nup override state laws? I know, having been a military spouse, that we were bound to some of those regulations. If the state we filed in said I was entitled to 50% of the marital assets, but the military said I was only entitled to 25% (because I was only married to my ex for 10 years and by their regs, I was only entitled to half of half. Had to be married 20 years to be entitled to half.), then the military regs overruled the states laws. Is a pre-nup the same way?

 

This. I see the value of having a pre-nup, but this is what I feel in my gut.

 

Thanks. The amount is a bit over £31,000. I broke it off. I don't want to lose my entire life's work (current savings as well as investments and assets) over a marriage. As far as joint accounts and shared assets, my father raised me to be cautious of that. I guess it was for the best.