I almost got in trouble yesterday when I told a co-worker that she looked very nice (and she was stunning). She pulled me off to the side and told me that she liked me, but warned me not to comment on her looks again. I was surprised. Now I know what President Obama had to deal with. I asked her why she felt offended to be told she looked nice, she said "WE MEN" see only one side of what a woman can be and they want to be seen as competent in more than just their looks. I can understand where she is coming from her perspective on being recognized for other attributes. I will thread lightly in the future before I compliment a woman again.
Unfortunately, according to sexual harassment laws, now that she has warned you, another offense is punishable by termination.
I'm always wary when complimenting women for 2 reasons: 1. Sometimes they take it as me trying to hit on them (often times I'm not even attracted to them) 2. Some of these chicks get complimented day-to-day. My input is unnecessary.
You are so right. Now "WE MEN" have the power hammer over our heads. Wish I lived in simpler times like my older brother.
I think it's incredibly sad that we live in a time where men have to be wary of telling a woman she looks nice. I certainly want to be appreciated and valued for my professional accomplishments, but to take a compliment and turn it in to "all men see only one side of a woman" is quite unfortunate. So not true! There's a security guard at the grocery store by my house who compliments me every morning. It might be on my shoes, my outfit, my hair...doesn't matter the topic but he makes a point to say something kind every day. And he calls me young lady which I find funny cause he's my same age. Even if someone gets complimented every day, your input is still much appreciated. I compliment men and women daily when they're looking especially good...most people like to hear nice things!
Next time tell her, I'm sorry, but you weren't wearing your intelligence and smarts on your face and ass. Then just walk away...
As a woman, I think her response was ridiculous, but to each her own. You were polite. If you had said "You look hot" or were otherwise being rude, I could understand. A female colleague could have said the same thing to her and it would have been acceptable. She sounds insecure to me. Telling her she looks nice does not invalidate her competency or other professinal attributes, nor does it mean you only value her for her looks. I understand sexual harrassment is a big deal, but some people take it too far. :smt009
yo dude, you best thank that woman. she did you a favor and gave you the low down on some shit. she could have easily set up on some shit. keep your mouth closed. let your work do the talking. anything that needs to be said about anything it should be "they (coworkers name) are nice to me and as far as I know they do good work. "
I operate the same way, I'm pretty sure the majority of women at my job think I'm miserable until they see me laughing, joking, carrying on with certain women on the job I deem cool and start feeling some type of way
Having worked in corporate security, I simply say "Good morning," to everyone. There is nothing to it. I feel that this person has a busy day and in some way, I am helping start that day pleasantly. Courtesy is a part of the job. I cannot get too familiar with them. They have their space. There were a few I got to know because they kept me in their confidence. The women knew they looked good. I simply kept that fact to mself.
I guess if it's a guy that she fancies (emotionally, physically, and mentally), her response would be flirtatious.
My friend, I believe that respect and how one treats a woman pays big dividends. Reminds me of what my father drilled into my brothers and my own head in that it takes a true man to be a man when it comes to respecting women. I guess it may sound old fashioned today, but respect does have it's benefits as it relates to women and how they see you in your interactions with them. Yes, women today are changing in so many ways, and yes we as men should not fear that change, but you have to realize that they still want to be respected as they advance beyond the traditional roles that unfortunately many of us (men) still see in them. Just my opinion alone.
Everyone wants respect. Sometimes, we just don't know what respect means to another person - how it is given. Someone telling me politely that I look nice is respectful to me. To another (like your co-worker), the same gesture spoke something entirely different, but I really believe it speaks of issues she has within herself and how she wants to be/thinks she is perceived. Imo, you were respectful but as IamMe said, she "warned" you, and to do it again could bring sexual harrassment charges. Sadly.
