My husband and I always approach any topic related to race very lighthearted within our relationship, our families, our household, and our children. I do believe that following that strategy from the beginning has blended us all together so beautifully and comfortably. This being my first "real" post, I hope that strategy works here as well.

That being said, I bring you my husband's "IT" theory.....

There is one ongoing discussion we've had for years. On several occasions we've asked others to weigh in. Most of the time BM agree with him, but can't define "IT" either. Everyone else does what I do...(laugh their ass off) but still...no real conclusion.

See, my husband seems to believe and I agree, that just about all WW fall into one of three categories:

1. Those who are "going"--(Those who would date a BM)
2. Those who are NOT "going"--(Those who would NOT date a BM)
3. Those who are curious--(Those who would, but are too afraid of the reaction of others)

What we don't agree on is that he thinks he, any other BM and most WM...can immediately tell which category any given WW on earth falls into just by looking at her! He says it is not at all about her appearance or how she talks or how she carries herself. So of course I ask "what is it then?" He says he doesn't know...."Those who fall into category #1 just have "IT"

Based on my own personal experiences it seems to have at least some truth to it. For example: If a guy approaches me, nine times out of ten he is a BM. It has been that way my whole life. For my sister the opposite is true, with nine out of ten interested being WM.

So, do you believe in the "IT" theory??

If so, what exactly is "IT"?

~Belle

 

Most people are surprised when they find out my GF dates me. Because she doesn't look the type, and yeah i can't figure out what that means either.

 

I believe the IT theory. I've been with a BM for 12 years next month and I come from a place where there is not many of them, yet, I still manage to be approached by more BM than WM. I think humans can usually sense whether or not another one is/would be open to getting involved with them. I read somewhere something about guys can usually sense sometimes whether or not a woman is single or in a relationship, like we emanate some kind of "taken" or "available" vibe or something and I wonder if it's kind of the same involving a woman who is interested in a certain type or, in this case, race of man. And that's the IT. Maybe. :smt102

 

I honestly can't relate. I have never, and probably will never sit and ponder why one group dates another. For me it is not a choice of clothing or food. For the most people one group date (or will not date) another group based on something as simple as being exposed to those who think differently.

why he will or will not she or vice versa is infantile to me.

is she slime
does she have nice legs
does she have a little waist
is she attractive
is she intellegent
does she laugh, smile and have an easy going personality.

...that' all I really need.

 

#2 is one of those that really doesn't hold a lotta weight because it's more than likely gonna always be one of those "wait & see" kind of deals. She might not date a BM at this very moment in time, but she'll come around one day. The ones who say they "never" will are the most interesting to me.

 

"It's" probably how you look, you probably have that body type that draws "us" in lol You and Britty...

 

I definitely need to see a picture to better asses what your asking.

But the majority of women I've dated have never dated bm before me. Truthfully I'm more attracted to American ww who don't normally date bm opposed to those who exclusively date bm. A lot of them seem to have more class than the latter.

 

So those who "never" will apparently just need to be exposed to those of us who think differently.

and just curious...what is "slime"??

 

But BM like all different body types, I thought. :smt061

 

I think he meant slim. Sometimes he likes to add extra letters and leave other letters out.

 

I feel the same way Knight.

 

lol. I distinctly remember a boss of mine once shouting from the other side of the warehouse..."Girl, who'd you steal that ass from?! White girls don't come with asses like that!"

That is why I laugh the most at my husband's whole theory...because we are each other's 1st IR experience!

A picture? Damn, I'm just now getting the hang of quoting!:smt043

 

its a gift, what can I say.

 

Exactly my point

I contend to say, some have "It"/the body that automatically catches a lot of "our" eyes...others don't (not a bad thing though of course)...

 

there are no such things as absolutes (this I believe) so to coin an over used phrase "never say never." In any event, how would you know a person would "NEVER"

I'm in Arkansas, 77% white..........the deep, racist south. The place where time, toothbrushes, a good diet plan, and parts of civil rights movement forgot.

And the lady I am with says all her friends used to talk about was "I could never date a black guy"......until she started dating me.

First curiosity is peeked, then is "what's it like" or "does it bother you" then is "does he have any friends" A good many people have simply never been exposed. In highschool I can tell you would have NEVER dated a white chick or any other chick. I have a history degree in African American history. The music I played, JUST ICE, PARIS, NWA, PUBLIC ENEMY, XCLAN, PRT in my tape deck. Then I joined the Marines.

There are people who hate niggers with their very soul....but, if no one knew, those very same people would fuck the air of a black bicycle tire of they could.

Race simply has never been something I sit around and ponder with regards to "I wonder if he would date a white chick" or "I wonder if she would fuck a black dude" as if we were playing "Punch Buggie no punch backs" Its silly to "me"

I'm a proud, educated, arrogant, tad bit cocky, loving, BLACK MAN.

who's prone to typeOs...........hope that answers your "slime" query

 

Interesting...

So then would it be fair to say that "IT"/the body type first catches the eye which triggers the approach which in turn may open a mind up to a different way of thinking than before?

 

Damn where the hell did you work. Jeez, should have picked a better major in college.

 

Dictionary
Search Results
it
pronoun?

Used to refer to a thing previously mentioned or easily identified
- a room with two beds in it
- this approach is refreshing because it breaks down barriers

Referring to an animal or child of unspecified sex
- she was holding the baby, cradling it and smiling into its face

Referring to a fact or situation previously mentioned, known, or happening
- stop it, you're hurting me

Used to identify a person
- it's me
- it's a boy!

Used in the normal subject position in statements about time, distance, or weather
- it's half past five
- it was two miles to the island
- it is raining

Used in the normal subject or object position when a more specific subject or object is given later in the sentence
- it is impossible to assess the problem
- she found it interesting to learn about their strategy

Used to emphasize a following part of a sentence
- it is the child who is the victim

The situation or circumstances; things in general
- no one can stay here—it's too dangerous now
- he would like to see you right away if it's convenient

Exactly what is needed or desired
- they thought they were it
- you've either got it or you haven't

Sex appeal
- he's still got “it.”

Sexual intercourse

(in children's games) The player who has to catch the others

 

Yes..but of course there are exceptions to the rule...as much as I'm polished and wear suits most days...I dress down in the evening in what I categorize as athletic wear sometime and urban wear sometime. It's wasy to draw sterotypical views when I dress down, but that's when I have caught some pretty white females off guard and been successful.

 

This is some long winded funny right here...lol