Yeah that "nice guy" label was the kiss of death early on while I was seeing the first and only girl I've been with. Actually, more than one girl who I was attempting to date gave me that label, so I can definitely relate to this. I've noticed personally at least that it's like they feel badly for saying it, because they realize that I am dating material, but apparently just not with them haha.
Reveal little and limit your time with women and the nice guy label falls away Nice is code for too available
My friend is a straight up asshole and gets hella girls. I can't be anything more than a sarcastic and joking asshole so it doesn't work for me since I'm not an asshole by nature.
I think people miss the difference between a nice guy and a nice guy. Lol. If you are to clingy, desperate, thirsty and needy etc and a woman is trying to let you down easy, they say you are a nice guy, but it can really just mean, creepy, needy, desperate etc and really doesn't mean 'nice' at all. It can also mean a guy went far above his league and that also happens w women going after men way out of their league, they both get called 'nice', but no cigar. It can simply just mean 'I have zero chemistry with you'. Any adult, mature, woman wants a nice guy, but now we MEAN nice actually, now, its not a word that gets used as a PC round about way to say something else (see above). I mean, this alternative use of 'nice' has been around forever for both men and women that some person of the other sex has been trying to shoot down nicely. Granted, the 'nice guy' is more common than the 'nice girl' thing, but they mean the same thing, and it has nothing g to do with actually being 'nice'. I don't date anything other than 'nice men' but I mean it as a true reflection of said mans personality and not as a pc way to shoot down someone i find creepy, or desperate, or clingy. There is a difference between 'nice' and 'nice'.
Good point but I wish people would be kind enough to make the distinction. Some people aren't bright enough to get what that means. I wish more people would self assess before dating as well. Make sure you're in a good place to date before dating. That means mind body and heart. Don't expect someone else to make your life into something you couldn't make on your own.
I think 'your a nice guy' generally comes before dating actually occurs. Other times, people give others a chance and then realize there is no chemistry. People work differently and may need more than one date to arrive st that conclusion, or they just simply use it instead of some other harsher truth that they are unwilling to share. What do you tell women you realize after a month or so, is not for you? A lot of people will just say ' your a nice man/woman but its not going to work out' and there u have it, then that person latch on to 'nice' ad the culprit of their strike-out but it is really not the problem. I never use the term 'nice' unless I meant that in its true sense of the word. I usually use ' no chemistry' that should be enough w no other explanation needed. If someone doesn't find chemistry w me, and say so, its good enough for me. If I don't find chemistry on the first date, its not going to happen and no second date will occur and that is what I expect in turn.
I could introduce you to a good friend of mine who is. Too bad he isn't black and might not be your type, plus long distance sucks.
"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to The Dark King again." Spittin' some knowledge and Truth 101 right there bro. Be realistic about your own life circumstances in a relationship. As far as the whole nice guy thing, the only thing you can do in life is be genuine about yourself. Presenting yourself as something you are not will only lead to issues at some point. Better the person knows you and is attracted to you for that.
As someone that's typically super shy, I DO try to present myself as not being so shy (thus "something I'm not"). However, it isn't to get anyone to like me better, but because I believe if you fake it enough you'll make it. It's been working, lol. I think it's better to be hated for something you are than loved for something you're not. Can't spend the energy constantly presenting yourself in a different manner (especially when thinking a relationship could lead to marriage, then you have to live the "lie").
Most people confuse insecure wimps with no backbone as nice guys hence when such people are not given the time of day by women, they whine about nice guys being last.
Being a nice a guy is only a bad thing for women who enjoy drama, mind games and playing the victim. Women that just want a normal healthy relationship love nice guys (who are still man enough). No woman likes a walkover though.
I think sometimes people are confusing "nice" with "no personality" (not the right expression buy you know what I mean). Sometimes it happens that a guy is really nice, sweet, polite and respectful but you just don't like him that way. That doesn't mean he has no personality but its just something you feel. Some other times a nice guy is a guy with no personality. Boring... The fact is that everything is personal and somebody that is nice but not attractive for me can be a sexy bomb for some other women lol. I personally like the nice guy type, but he has to have that something, for example be funny and make me laugh
8)This was one of the reasons I did not date much in highschool I was labled the so called nice guy because I did not act like a hoodrat. When I got out of highschool I only dated women from other counties that do like nice men and got called a sellout because I did not date black women, well they did not want me HAHAHH. Not as nice as I used to be, I let a woman know I don't want to be her friend and will not waste my time if this is not moving into a relationship then I don't need to talk to you anymore and this has worked a lot I stopped being a wimp grew a backbone and stopped taking crap from people.
Good for you fam. Wish more dudes would take your lead. I had this conversation with co-workers because I brought my girl to the company christmas party, "why does it seem most of you guys don't even want to deal with black women". Truth is I like what I like but part of that has to do with the simple fact that a lot of ww when I was growing up were cool with me being nice. I guess being black was edgy enough for them that I didn't have to be a thug to get their attention lol
LOL. eric....its funny in another thread called something to the extent about being hard to get ( i made the thread) covers your statement. u just basically started being conifident ..not being a thug.
