Given the fact that i highly value the art of dissenting whilst maintaining some personal dignity, i would love to express my distaste at some of this individual's rhetoric. I highly admire - and envy, for that matter- this guy's individual success and there is much to love about his personal accomplishments but my, my, what is this guy thinking? I really do not even know where (or how) to begin to disagree with him.
It is not my duty to make his personal decisions about whom to date - my guess is that he's nothing less than 30 years old - but here's the problem: he's made this decisions based on supercilious, ill-conceived, highly debatable grounds. He's not even sure what's he doing/done that he said:
I date white women exclusively. Well, I should say "non-African American women" exclusively. I have dated women of Hispanic-American women, Asian-American woman.
I do not have problems with the fact he wants to strictly non-black women, as it'd be highly hypocritical of me to do that. Aside from black women, my immediate ex is white, i've dated a Korean girl, had a fling with a Pacific Islander, dated Latinas and so is my fiancee is.
The point is clear, we all have our preferences and whilst we aren't compelled to defend them, we have a personal responsibility to be rational about them. He says that he'll never, ever date African-American women again for reasons such as the fact that he got tired of the "black woman drama". Even though i cannot be 100% certain, i think i can guess what he means. Even so, he gives examples. He says he can no longer deal with women who couldn't disagree and not get loud. He says he can no longer deal with women talking about what other women have and is tired of all the neck-rolling, finger snapping and "attitude". That is a fair statement, but here's the twist;
VIRTUALLY ALL MEN DO NOT LIKE ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED!!! And what's more inane is the fact that women of all races do these kind of things. This guy claims he's tired of black female attitude; i guess he's never heard of the "hot blooded Latina stereotype" then.
Now, as i have mentioned a few times on this site, my fiancee is Latina. And you guys know that black women and Latin women share aesthetic cultural similarities. I hate to bank on stereotypes but Eva is as "hot-blooded" as they come, and what's more, she's a Scorpio. Now i love my dear Eva and all, but guess what; she gets very loud and defensive whenever we have arguments so "loudness" isn't limited to black women. Whilst Eva does not roll her neck, she gets very loud that i often have to remind her that she's not immune to being heard. As much as myself and Eva are in love, we argue as many times as we make love; it's just normal. And she never is wrong, always pointing out my own flaws in the process. Pretty much all of the women i've dated were the same way.
What this man does not realize is that all of those characteristics are typical of all women, and has no bearing on race. Just because other women do not roll eyes and finger-snap does not mean they cannot be over-bearing. I do not recall any black woman shooting her husband to death over an affair; it's almost unheard of for a black woman to kill her husband for money or some other ulterior motives. I can least at least 5 instances where white women have done just that. And this is no way linked to skin color. That's the whole point!!!
I really do not understand why this guy cannot stop to think for one second that he has not met the more than 18 million black women in America and maybe as such, he's blinded by his own bigotry. I understand if he's frustrated by the people he's encountered in life, but to attempt to come to a conclusion as he has is beyond insanity. That's like saying because you've had rice a few times and it was exasperating, that makes rice the worst thing that happened to mankind since 9/11. Of course, that's baloney.
It gets even more absurd when he goes on to mentioning that his exes complained about their hair, having a fucked up day at work, female spending habits and what not. This guy clearly has never made an effort to watch one episode of Dr Phil. Because, by God, those are some of the numerous family problems he has to confront. And what's more, most of the guests are white. Women generally pay a lot of attention to their hair and makeup - any man with a wife, girlfriend, teenage daughters or sisters will testify to that - and get really irritated by anyone messing it up. My fiancee is always changing her hair all the time; her hair is naturally curly but she does all sorts of things to it and whilst she loves me touching it, it must happen
after she's left the hairdresser. Why? Because she's forked out bucks to make her hair. Most women spend like crazy - women spend twice the amount of money as men even though we earn more - and tend to have more credit card bills. Do you really mean to tell me that is drawn across racial lines? Women of all races value material things - damn, hasn't this guy watched Sex and the City before - and many spend beyond their means. I cannot think of any race of women who are not uberspenders.
I'm glad that he included his past experience with a woman who he blew off simply because she lacked melanin in her skin. Even he admits that he rejected her because of his conviction and for him to still hold preconceived notions against a segment of the population -despite his past- exposes him for the highly complexed homosexual sapiens male he is.
I do not really know if he made up the conversation with his mother - i'm guessing he did - but if he really did, i now understand why he holds such opinions.
However, there is one part i agreed with:
Now, I know the first thing some of you women are saying is "I bet he dates women that even white men don`t want". Nope, every white woman I date is fine. Ultra fine. Bodies like Jennifer Lopez. Faces like Vanessa Williams. I have high standards in everything from cologne, to clothes which I have fitted), to food (I don`t eat red meat, fried food, or artificially preserved fruits/vegetables), to women (I don`t date women who don`t take care of their bodies, minds, or souls).
The women I date are up to my standards (which are high), can wear 2 piece swimsuits with no embarassment, can tell you the difference between a Modernist, Post-Impressionist, Post-Modern, or Contemporary painting, can explain what a diversified portfolio is and why it is an asset, etc.
I share that with him. It is generally believed by everyone from white men to even black men that brothas go for the "white man's leftover". Now i'm not Pey who posts his "ex-girlfriends" online but in case anyone doubts me, e-mail me and i'd show you pictures of all my exes. None of the women i've dated look like Rosie O'Donnell to say the least. I do see lots of black men with overweight white women but whatever floats their boat. I generally do not like women who make less trips to the gym than the doctor. I'm not saying that my women must look like Heidi Klum but come damn close. j/k. Actually, as long as you take care of yourself, i'm good. And intellect is important to me too. I must be able to hold a 1 hr conversation with you without thinking i'm the headmaster of a kindergarten school.
In conclusion, stereotypes are just foul and wrong and i'm sure he - a black man - knows that.
Unless he's having attitude.........
