A White Man Once Said This To Me...

In 1998 when I first came to the U.S. and was still going through the shock of all that unnecessary, superficial rejection from American black women, I once confided into a close, white male friend of mine. He was a student in my program and therefore in most of my undergraduate courses at the time. I told him I just couldn't understand why this women were looking down on me and that I was truly shocked because if anything, I felt that I would have more of a connection with them, being originally from Africa. He looked me in the eye and smoked his cigarette. He blew. Then he said:
"You know why they treat you that way? It's because you're white."
I hadn't been in the U.S. long enough back then to understand what such a statement, coming from a white man, would mean to me. Now that I'm much older and have been here for almost 10 years with several experiences, I definitely understand what he was talking about.

 

Well shaft let me explain something to you,Now I know this does not go for all Africans in America or abroad, but when alot of Africans come to America it seems as if the have a chip on their shoulder about how the blacks over here act(legacy of slavery and all)and some treat us like crap and act rude towards American blacks. Now the Africans I know are not like that but some are, maybe just maybe that is why some American black women don't give them the time of day. I think that the guy you was talking to was trying to sow seeds of discourse. Think about that.

 

I am not even surprised. In fact, with every group who claims to be hatred by one, it also goes the other way around. That includes American blacks vs. African blacks, American blacks vs. Jamaican blacks, American blacks vs. American whites, American blacks vs. Foreign whites, American whites vs. Foreign whites, American blacks vs. American Asians, American blacks vs. Foreign Asians, African blacks vs. American Asians, African blacks vs. Foreign Asians, it goes on and on and on...



American blacks vs. American blacks.....

 

Also, keep in mind that for every demographic of people who feel a certain way about you, there are those within the same one who feel the opposite way, so all hope isn't lost... at least for now anyways.

 

An African who speaks properly and pursues an education = White. :smt017

An African-American who does the same = White. :smt017

An African-American who acts like a rapper/street drug-dealer = Black/Nigga/Thug. :weedman: :smt033 :smt017

An African who acts the same as above = Still not Black, but pretty close because he/she is African, so it's not the same as being Black. (I kid you not...I've heard this logic before!). :smt017 He/She is more likely to not be African-American (unless born in the US). :smt019

A white who does the same ( the speech and education thingy) = White. Go figure! :smt012

A White who acts like a rapper/street drug-dealer = Wigger (am yet to see "Wigga"). :smt033 :weedman: :smt017

Feel free to add more variations to the above!

What's your true nature? What is your culture? From whence do you hail?

My friend, you are African whether you speak properly or behave like a rapper/street drug-dealer/thug.

You are also a Black man.

Note: One cannot truly be "Black" or "White", colorwise of course. :roll:

The trick is not to forget where you are from and who you are...else you may become White. :smt023

 

Heh. I like your style, Lucifer. :wink: :smt023

 

I only seek balance fellow monk. Buddha's name be praised!

 

What a coincidence, and right on!

 

Re:

Hi Injera, I understand exactly what you're saying. Personally, I have never looked down on African-Americans. Having a good relationship with them has always been (and still is) something that means a lot to me. It would have been better if the women in question didn't judge or dismiss me simply because of where I come from, and rather had chosen to treat everyone on the basis of individual conduct.

 

But SardonicG, there are no coincidences...only synchronicities. :lol:

 

Re:

You know it is a shame that some people judge a group when the should judge on a case by case basis. I have never looked down on Africans hell I plan on going to Zambia with some friends in the near future.

 

Shaft,

I can totally agree with your experience. My black friends in college/university were either Africans or Carribeans, the afro americans always seem to think that if I didnt act "stereotypically black" then I was considered "WHITE". They treated the african and carribeans the same and created a divide. Most of the AFricans were very confused by this, but I explained to them that it is based on ignorance, jealousy and lack of experience with others that have many blacks trying to belittle of blacks.

 

Come on now tuck not all African Americans hate African, If I am wrong about what you are implying in your post I apologize.

 

i didnt say all, obviously, since I am african american and I dont hate them. I was addressing Shaft and his experience and that I had the same experience, INJer. please read the entire post and not just draw out something that is not written.

 

Uh read my post again I.E. the end part thank you.

 

i read it, and the point of the issue is that I didnt say all african americans, since I dont know all, thus cant speak for all.

 

Wow, Shaft's story is rather strange because it is quite similar to mine. When i returned to the U.S.A in 1998 after spending the best part of my youth in Nigeria, i was surprised at the way i was being rejected by many black American females. I was like a total nonentity to them. Meanwhile, Asians, Latinos; hell even white people cherished me and liked my way of acting. I had a lot of friends that were "other" if you like and the black friends i had were either upper-middle class kids like mine or Africans like me. African-American women and me were like Tom and Jerry; never got along. I had a number of white friends, particularly males, tell me that there are a large number of black Americans who complain that Africans look down on them for being lazy, criminal and what have you. I saw it was rather weird but i decided to find out for myself if it were true and my findings were just as i was told. Black Americans saw me as rather "cocky" and thought i had a bit of a superiority complex because i was different to them :shock: Where the got that from remains a mystery to me till this day.

Now that i have been in the United States for 8 years since my return, i have understood a number of things. I as a person try my single best to bridge that bitter gap between my African friends and my black American friends. A number of my Nigerian people totally refuse to be called African-American for aforementioned stereotypical reasons but that is them. I know a lot of Africans who would rather interact with whites and others than with black Americans, some of my family members included. Equally, a number of black American folks hold similar beliefs. I am not one of them. I like everybody who's good. Of course, there is no doubt that there are disgraceful black Americans but there are disgraceful people of every demographic group.

 

Commendable.

 

Don't feel bad. African-American women don't like an intelligent, purposeful Black man regardless of national origin. They like guys that they can "fix" or "change."

 

:lol: