Any link between...

...women/men who are as open to dating interracially as dating the same race, and having a more generally open attitude towards sexuality?

What do people think?

It crossed my mind, reading some of the refreshingly open comments about sex, sexual experiences and preferences all through the site. Despite my boring inner prude coming to the fore sometimes, I welcome that attitude. Sex is something which really should be discussed as openly as anything else, as long as you're not hurting anyone's feelings!

 

I think that people who are comfortable and confident in stepping out in the face of cultural/societal limitations are going to be more open and expressive in general.

Just posting on a public board on the net that may not be considered mainstream takes some courage.

I think those who post on this board tend to seem more intelligent than some other areas on the net. The interesting thing about this to me is that I also frequent a parenting board that is not a mainstream parenting board....I find the posts on there to be much more thoughtful, expressive, and open in most areas too.

 

Hi Mistress. I hope you enjoyed the Carnival earlier this week.

Since I don't believe that there are multiple races, I'll call it "inter-ethnic dating" for the purpose of responding.

I think your theory is right. People that have an open mind (indeed, the intelligence to date whoever they are attracted to) and are willing to venture beyond their own ethnic group can be open and comfortable enough to talk about sex without reservation.

You may have an advantage if you were raised in London, however. A lot of Americans still have a puritan mindset when it comes to sexuality as opposed to people living in much of Europe and elsewhere. So, you may still find people here that are inhibited because religion has, wrongly, taught a lot of Americans that sex is wrong and is to be feared.

We even have a politician here that is so afraid of his own sexuality, that he only feels comfortable expressing himself inside public restrooms. (Despite being married to a woman, he's gay, which is the very worst thing you can be in America in terms of sexual acceptance).

But, I do believe that people who are willing to break the silly rules about dating across ethnic and skin pigmentation lines can be more open minded and intelligent than those that refuse to do so; including the ability to talk freely about sex without inhibitions.

 

I can believe that, with the Christian movement growing so strong, many people could grow up in the US being more repressed than in Europe. A problem that will only get worse if the reactionaries get their way and actually prevent distribution of birth control, sex education in schools etc...a terrifying thought.

However I think the UK is considered to lag behind the rest of Europe in terms of permissiveness and openness. We have an extremely high teenage pregnancy rate which, in my opinion, is partly attributable to miseducation and taboos...we definitely have much more prudish attitudes to nudity in the media (and yet a pretty much porno tabloid press...go figure).

Also when I went to college, I felt disappointed...at school attitudes to sex were reasonably open and liberal, certainly the whole subject seemed to be treated the way it should be: serious when it's serious, fun when it's not. After all, everyone's different. But instead because - again! - there was a huge Christian following in the student body, the whole atmosphere seemed a lot more repressed. Student years should be for experimenting - it seemed a shame that so many people were more keen to be instantly monogamous, and even more, to save sex for after marriage...and definitely not something to be discussed!

 

Oh, and carnival was great thanks altho as usual spoiled by some violence...3 young guys were killed on the last evening near the site :?

 

I had no idea that there was much of a Christian following in the UK. I know that church attendance in Britain is not what it is in the States. So, this is surprising.

I understand your disappointment. Please don't follow in our footsteps down this rocky road. Remember, we led you into Iraq!

I am hopeful that there are more people like us. I find myself living in a very selective world, Mistress.

Do you remember the old Police song that went: "When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around?"

Well, that's exactly how I live my life; surrounded by people like yourself that have few if any hangups, that love and embrace diversity and revel in how interesting it makes your life.

And so, I treat the Bay Area like it's my second home, a place where "interracial" dating is the norm, not the exception. There, diversity is celebrated, brown skin is in.

I will come to London sometime in 08. Based on what my English friends that have emigrated to America tell me, interracial dating is very widely accepted in London...no one even seems to notice....even East Indians date and marry outside of their ethnicity (although not as prevalant as Africans and Carribeans).

And Mayor Livingston has done quite a lot to set the tone for this.

Do you agree with this? Have my friends lied to me???? - Joking.

I spend most of my time in a town on the outskirts of Philadelphia where this kind of diversity is just as prevalant, although in a different way and with a different personality than the Bay Area.

In this little enclave of the Philadelphia area, you will see Black dads parading around with their White children, and White dads talking with their Black children. It's not at all indicative of the Philadelphia area overall (which seems decades behind the little village I live in when it comes to dealing with diversity).

But, this little area is amazing. It's African-American, British, Irish, Jewish, German and Chinese. Sometimes, you can literally feel the acceptance when you begin to drive in from somewhere else. The tension from a long drive and a more stressful area does seem to disappear as I get closer to home.

It reminds me of what a Priest once told me about near death patients (those that claim to have died, but come back to life): "To them, it's not how heaven looks. It's how it feels. All they talk about is how totally accepted they felt."

So, I don't try to befriend bigots. I don't plan vacations that include Mississippi. I only pray that haters stay away (as harsh as that sounds). While I'm not gay, I don't spend too much time with people that fear them. If someone does not like diversity, they may not see me too often cause I'm always surrounded by it.

I pick cool friends, people I can picture at ease in the 22nd century.

And, maybe interracial (or what I like to call inter-ethnic) dating leads you to this; the ability to make friends based on one's personality, not their skin color or religion or gender.

And, back to your earlier question: It's hard to imagine these kinds of open minded friends and neighbors having too much difficulty talking about sex.