Criticisms of Black Men

No one is more scrutinized and gossiped about than a black man. Our dating and mating habits are particularly dissected, criticized and over analyzed. White men can date Asian, Hispanic or black women, skinny or fat, and no one tries to figure out "why" he is with "that one". But, let a brother date a white women and eveyone takes notice (and feels it is their duty to give everyone else their opinions on it).

White men, black men, black women, hell even white women who date black men, feel it is their privilege to dissect our lives and our mates. Reading thru this forum about fat white women, old white women, and ungly ducklings, I feel like a stumbled upon a white supremists site. It is hard enough living under a microscope when we are out among other people, but it is fucking sick having to do it among your own people.

I am in my mid forties. I own my own company and am a public speaker for social issues. I am married to a white woman my age who's heavy. I am not with her because I am color struck. I am not with her because she is unable to get a white man. I am with her because she was with me thru 18 years of hell.

In 1981, when I was just out of high school, I was falsly accused and convicted of raping a white woman. I had only been dating my wife for 6 months at that time. It was hard for her to understand, she had grown up in an all white neighborhood. She did not know being an average looking black man was all it takes to get sent to prison. But, she believed in me and stuck with me thru it all. It took 18 years to get my conviction overturned with the help of DNA. She was there with me thru all of it, not even my family stuck with me past the first couple of years. For that, she shares my life and the money I received for those 18 years.

Somebody needs to tell some of you folks to sit down and shut the fuck up. Stop judging who I or any other anonymous black man is fucking. It isn't your place or your business. It isn't racism that causes a fat or average white women to date or marry a black man. It is racism that causes people to constantly critic who and what black men do. Just because you have a black dick or got you some black dick once doesn't mean you have the right to judge who I choose to put my black dick into.

 

amen to that brotha.

 

It is a TOTAL waste of time to even try to argue or reason with racists and the rest of the brain-dead public. Let them believe what they want to believe.

 

18 years of hell.
You are strong having survived something like that and your wife is super strong for being there with you.

Some of the things said here are more from lack of knowledge and wisdom as opposed to flat out racism, I feel.

Keep the faith Generic.

 

Racist - Racism are over used words, often taken out of context like the poster did of this topic. It is not racist to analyze the discourse of a relationship and know one is more scrutinized for their choices in mates, then the next person. This putting the blame is redundant!

 

People are gonna be judgemental until the end of time. And critics will always find something to find fault with you. What really matters is that you two focus more on loving and supporting each other and less on people who don't love or support you.

 

GenericBM, couldn't agree with you more, thanks for posting that.

 

True.

OK, first of all, the previous paragraph you wrote should give you a hint as to why you saw those discussions, and furthermore, some of the men in here were talking about their attractions to older white women and fat white women, so there is your conclusion. To get oversensitive about what you personally don't understand just because you disagree with it is a waste of our time.

That's all well and good, but who was ever talking about you?

Your story is common, but don't make this all about you.

We should be telling you the same thing, especially with the screen name, GenericBM. You are doing the same thing you are accusing us of.

Maybe not in all cases, but you can't speak for everyone in these relationships, now can you?

Funny how you seem to agree with us on this, but then argue a faulty point about our own inputs at the same time. When were we judging you again?

 

This is how I also see it.

 

not racism... perhaps prejudice

and it's human nature to think and behave along lines of prejudice.

for example, a certain white woman may truly and sincerely believe that most black men are a certain way, but believes she has found a certain black man to be the exception to the rule.

and you can easily reverse the situation, eg, black men who think a certain way about white women discovering "their" exception to the rule.

who says that being able to date interacially makes one more enlightened and less prejudiced than those who don't? the only difference is in where their prejudices are directed.

the white woman who sticks by you may very well find you the exception to the rule. it won't stop her from clutching her purse or crossing to the other side of the street when she comes across those other black men.......

 

Yet you are on a web site that is specifically geared toward BM who date WM? Then you want to cry racism and prejudice. Please, I understand that you fall in love with who you fall in love with and true love has no preference. You are saying BM are judged, but you are putting yourself in that position with your decisions.

 

Genericbm, my email is on my profile, send me an email if you would like some links that I feel you might like.

As far as the judging, yes it does go on. Part of it is the group think, where other bm feel it reflects on them. Another part of it is the women who think it makes them look better to put down all the other women. :roll: All you have to do is spend a day or so reading thru the post of who is complaining about the quality of their dates or the dates of other people and it isnt hard to size them up. Many times, it is the words used that show their prejudice. Look for lots of colorful language used to discribe people and it allows you to peep their insecurities/prejudices.

 

I couldn't agree more...