Deal Breaker

Just being nosey, when looking for a potential mate what do you consider a "deal braker" the thing that you can't accept although you like everything else about the person and will lead you to either break it off or not even start to pursue?

On the top of my list:
1. Has a kids (I might be able to deal with one depending on the situation but definitely not multiple)
2. Smoker
3. not smart
4. no manners

What are your deal breakers and why?

 

Top of my list is smoking, oddly enough. I say "oddly enough" because in recent years I've "looked past" it, so to speak. For one, most of the women I meet who I like are smokers (nothing to be derived from that, just happens to be the case...I've admired my share of non-smokers as well). Plus, unlike lack of intelligence or lack of manners, that issue can be solved (or the habit can be dropped) comparatively quickly. I'm trying at little at a time to get her to quit...to ease herself off of it. I've done enough research on smoking to know the psychological and physiological hold it can have on a person, so patience is my virtue here. But I've point blank told her how it's tearing me up inside.

 

For me the deal breaker is if you don't have basic moral values. I'll give an example: when my ex called me after six years talking a lot of beautiful BS, I thought I was in love all over again. I figured though that we had an understanding: I'm married, end of story. But he started bugging me to sleep with him. Just bugging me to sleep with him. It really took all my feelings away. When I think if him now, I feel absolutely nothing except a slight disgust.

 

I would like to recommend to you (for your girl) the book Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking. I read it almost 2 years ago and have been smoke-free ever since!! I really considered myself a hard-core smoker and tried to quit for a year with little success. An aquaintance recommended the book as it had worked for her and I figured that I had nothing to lose. Well, it worked wonders! By the time that I finished the book I had quit for good and the best parts are that I NEVER had a craving and I NEVER had a withdrawl symptom!!

If I recall correctly, the success rate of ppl who read the book is about 80%! Worth a shot, no?

http://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-E..._bbs_sr_8/102-0168427-8225761?ie=UTF8&s=books

Here's his website:
http://www.allencarrseasyway.com/



Oh... and the other night, while he was on Jay Leno, Ashton Kutcher said that he used the book too! tee hee

Good luck!

ps: Sorry for the thread high-jack, Chigirl!

 

*Unfaithfulness
*Closed mind
*Atheist [Don't need to be a Christian but should believe in something
greater]
*Overly religious [Preaches but does not follow the words coming out of her mouth OR believes that anything but her belief is wrong]
*Pawn
*Hobbit type feet!
*Masculinity
*Hateful
*Negativity
*Pearl Jr.

 

I agree Designer. I would seriously hesitate starting a relationship with an Atheist. I mean, it's their life, so they can believe whatever they choose...i won't stand in the way of how others choose to carry out their lives, but i personally could only be with someone whose either a Christian or a Catholic. It's far easier to overcome racial differences than it is to overcome differences as far as faith is concerned in my opinion. So my deal breaker would definitely have to be somebody who has no belief in God whatsoever, or who has no interest in believing in God whatsoever. It doesn't even matter how pretty/beautiful or attractive a woman is, if we're not on the same page as far as that's concerned, i don't think it'll work too well between us. But hey, that's just me.

 

you had me laughing out loud!! hahaa!!! :lol: :lol:



My dealbreakers:

Drug users/alcoholics

Married or "separated" men and men with several babymomas

Men who think it's a great achievement to have sex with a thousand of different women

Men who can't imagine that someone actually likes or loves them simply for who they are and who try to compensate with all kind of show-off-isms, be it the big car or a bunch of women, or braggadocio about their alleged big dicks /sexual potential and men who buy things they don't need from money they don't have to impress people they don't even like ...

Men who don't have an oppinion of their own, and who have to wait for the next rating in male magazines to find out what kind of woman they like, have to get new pictures of their favorite celebrities before they know what kinds of clothes and hairstyle they want to wear, or have to listen to a political commentator first before they know what they think about current events, and who just believe every social/religious/political doctrine without double checking

Men who have more playstation games than books

Men who frequently join pissing contests about the most pitiful victim in history rather than discussions about progress and personal development

Men who are members of extreme organizations like the NOI, NBPP or 5%ers (been there, done that ...urrggg... never ever again ) and men who believe in a black blood/white blood dichotomy and in a "homogeneous white collective" and a "homogeneous black collective"

And men who insist on keeping their socks on while having sex ...

 

no faith in god
Tattooes
piercings
smokers
drinkers
druggies
children
too many miles on them/used up
too short

 

talks too much
out of shape
dishonest
attention whore

 

I don't have checklists. I go with my instinct and if we click, we click, if not, I move on

 

1- No faith in God
2- Not a gentleman (doesn't know how to treat a woman)
3- Bad manners
4- smoker
5- drinker
6- has kids
7- behaves like he doesn't take relationships seriously

 

I would prefer not to date a Muslim again.. I love Christmas TOO much.. and making Ham dinners..

I prefer he not smoke

and he has to be willing to give orally as well as receive.. (oh and I mean ENJOY giving.. not just do it because he has to)

oh yeah.. and he has to be able to support himself... I'm not helping support any more men who have their paychecks going toward child support and need help keeping a roof over their heads.