Do you care what other races your partner might date?

I have a question for you all
BM would you mind if your date would also be open to seeing WM and WW how about you, would you mind if the BM you are interested in also dates BM?

I personally would not mind, what I would not like however is to be the first WW that guy is dating... I would feel a bit like he's just testing the waters I would prefer someone who knows what he likes

 

I completely agree with you Chigirl, that would make me uneasy also. I would also worry once the 'testing' was over he'd go back to the BW! :cry:

But to answer your question, no I don't care which races my BM has dated before. Most of them have been very open and dated a "rainbow" of ethnicities before me.

 

I feel you Chigirl but you've got to understand that unless he's only dated WW all his life somebody has to be his first. Also, just because a BM is dating a WW for the first time does not mean that he's testing the waters.

I personally made a decision about a year ago that I would date WW. I certainly didn't look at my first WW as testing the waters. As a matter of fact I have dated a small handful of WW so far and none of them have worked out yet (my first 2 were terrible actually). However I still have not changed my mind about my preferences. If I was testing the waters I would say the hell with it and go back to dating exclusively within my race.

But like I said I feel where you're coming from sweetie.

 

Hmmm......I think a few WW here would mind if the BM they are interested in wuld also date other...BM !!

Ok just kidding...I know it`s a typo Chigirl...

I was the first BM of my gf...she had been with many guys before, all white...it`s totally fine...
I didn`t see it as though she was "testing" the BM thing either, bcoz I also met a few WW who had been only with BM and I could`ve thought they were dating me only bcoz they were hooked on the BM thing!

The wider the range of my gf interests, the better I feel...it tells me she is an open-minded person...VERY IMPORTANT!!

 

That would not be a problem for me because most of the white ladies that I have dealt with have been involved with men from their race before. And to be honest, I expect that. :wink: But, if she's dealing with another WW or a BW then I would be very upset...IF SHE DOESN'T CUT ME IN ON THE FUN THAT IS :twisted: :!: :!: :!:

 

I don't mind if someone is doing it for the first time. We all had a first time for everything. If me and my girl broke up for some reason I wouldn't mind if she dated WM maybe. Although I highly doubt she'd ever would given that she is the mother of my daughter and would go for someone who looked like her father(me).

 

why would I care who or what race others date?

I prefer black men. But does it matter to me who else he has dated? no.

Now.. I don't want to have him belittle me and make me feel like he wishes he was with another race... because if he does, then he should go find one..

but as far as his past? I don't care if I am his first WW or his 30th.. all I care about is how we are together.

 

Thanks all for responding.

JREM you are so attentive... caught the typo :wink:

 

Chigirl I got you on this I used to feel the same way but never wanted to
express and now that I did on here. I could now let it go.....BUT you do have a point about being that persons first. That is hard because you never know what they about.

 

Personally, I would not feel particularly comfortable dating a BM who has rejected BW completely due to a bitterness about their 'attitudes' or bad experiences they have had. To me, that does not bode well. I strongly feel that black woman is his mother, his sister- our future daughter? and that would worry me.

People's past is absolutely their business, and I am not rejecting people who have developed a preference but if that preference layed its roots in something so negative, it is not really what I would prefer.

I feel much more at ease with someone who can appreciate beauty at all parts of the rainbow. Though you may have a preference for one race over the other, I don't think it should play a big deal in the relationship itself.

 

I care very much about all races of women my partner is dating.

As far as WHY he chose me, I could care less. Regardless of "why" his taste has obviously improved.

 

I hear what you're saying, but if he had a child with you, then "black woman" will not be his woman but "mixed race" daughter" will.

 

Why would I care about who she has dated before me IF I had decided to date HER anyway?

 

Yeah man... I have enough issues in my own life, I don't need to be dealing with extra BS. I once dated man who bad been divorced twice and was married for the third time but "we don't live together, we don't have sex, she doesn't want to sleep with me" yada yada yada. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME! I was 22 and I bit on it like a fish on a bait! Dated him for 2 whole months until some remote kind of activity started in my brain. :lol:

Anyway, this gentleman had issues with black women supposedly because his first wife, a black lady, cheated on him. Now, his second wife, a white lady - also cheated on him, and with a black man. His third wife was white, faithful and not interested in sex with him or with anyone at all. He called a nurse a "black bitch" because he showed up to her medical center at the closing hour and she told him to come back during business hours. Yuck, yuck, yuck. :evil: And he told me more than once: "NO DISRESPECT BUT WOMEN DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT!!!" Ooooooooooooooookay.

So my stance on the issue is - I'm not going to get into my partner's past, it's their business, as long as they do not try to unload ON ME a whole garbage truck of issues that somehow relate to the ethnicity of previous partners. My husband's ex was black from his country - cool. The girl he dated in the duration of our split up was white (and she kind of looked like me but I'm cuter) - I was pissed, but not because she was white, it was because he dated someone else, period. I don't really know what kind of women he LOOKS AT now that he's with me, because he is not obvious about in my presence, but I know he likes Beyonce - hey that's cool, it's not like he's getting with her anytime soon! Back when we first met, he once told me about myself and his ex: I know that both times, I made a good choice. What a freaking diplomat.

I really like your last paragraph Leksie, I feel the exact same way. When I read the personals in the French African magazine, my favorite ones are when the man writes: interested in meeting an African OR European woman with yada yada yada qualities. Usually these are men who have lived in Europe for a while.

 

YOu are absolutely right Tash, I was using broad strokes a bit there. I guess what I mean is that (and it is not correct, or accurate however) that is often how they will come to be identified by broader sociey.

 

It only matters to me in the sense that If she has dated alot of black men previously then she might be more appreciative of black men physically,but otherwise I don't really care. I do understand if dude last couple of g/f's were paki/indian/japanese/chinese/jamaican, lol then yeah I would understand how that would comeoff.