RE: Re: You're so right!!! Crystal, sorry that it's taken me a while to answer your intelligent question, but I don't reply unless I have something meaningful to add. I guess those bw must treat you a whole lot better than they do me. Most that I've met want to "determine my worth" with a quick glance without even making the effort to know me. Please bear in mind that few things before read what I say below: 1) Not all bw fit the pattern below, but most that I've met in the past 5 years do. 2) Bw are not the only offenders as I've seen this behaviour in all types of women, but they are the worst that I experienced. So, to answer your question: 1) When showing interest, smile and say "hi" instead of frowning like you're fronting about your interest, or giving him that "you must prove yourself to me first before I'll do anything with you" look or acting hurt because he's not responding to you the way you want (when you would do the same in his place). 2) Consider a man with potential (one that is on his way up), not just one who "has already made it". 3) Ask him about his interests and goals before probing about his job, his salary, the size of his wallet. 4) Treat each conversation like a connection between 2 like-minded people, not an interview. A natural flow of info, not a question-and-answer period. (You may think this point is obvious and silly to mention, but trust me, it has happened to me twice in the last year.) 5) Give him the benefit of the doubt by not falling into the myths that the good ones are already married and have children with several baby mothers. 6) Balance talking and listening, and ensure that you don't monopolize the conversation. 7) Accept that more than 1 conversation will need to occur before either of you decides to pursue the other or know if you're interested. Asking a man private questions without establishing some connection with him is an extreme sign of arrogance. Doing so assumes that you doing the hunting, that he already wants you and his ability to prove himself to you will decide your interest. The burden of proof rests with both parties. The golden rule is the bottom line: treat others the way you wish to be treated. No one and I mean no one, not even manipulative, deceptive leeches wants to feel used. I'm sorry if I sound very harsh. However I feel that I would be doing you a disservice, if I didn't give you an honest and thorough answer. Otherwise, I would not live up to my nickname of "Genuine".
I like someone attractive period. however, body image is no better among black women and white women. Just different. People have always had issues with body image though it changes according to the times. Women have downed arsenic, put themselves in debilitating corsets, dangerously attempted to bleach their skin to become whiter, fried their skin to become darker, been too skinny too fat, fried their hair to become more curly or more straight, have been ostrcized from clubs because they are too black etc... self hatred and social expectations takes place among all cultures
sry but where I live I see lots and lots of that. rarely do I see a bm with a cute wm..but probably iam just there at the wrong time.? theres nothing wrong with that.I once saw a movie called shallow hal about a man seeing the innter buetuy instead of the outer and at one part that man who hypnotize are whatever the main character says buetey is in the eye of the beholder which is true and says that dont you think we the people been hypnotize our whole lives by the media, magazines,music,tv shows etc media telling us whats pretty and whats not which is indeed true with much thought to it..
you are so right on Genuine and Jaydun!! I wouldnt know what bw would be interested in in a black male. they dont like "good" black men, so I am not sure why they get angry when they see a BM dating a WW.