Eye Contact

The world is changing fast...
Yesterday in the mall my family and I were walking back to the cobbler so that my wife could pick up shoes she had repaired, as we turned the corner I saw yet another mixed-up couple (BMWW) walking in our direction. I saw them glance in our direction but I did not my any eye contact and I generally do not.

To me it seems awkward to do so, what I am supposed to do; nod that I approve? Wink as if that says hey we're on the same team? Smile? Frown? Acted surprised? Show joy? Show disgust?

So my question is when you are out with your man, girl, husband or wife and you see another mixed couple (BMWW, BWWM) do you make eye contact?

Guys do you look at the BM's girl and say to yourself, he could have done better, do you say she could have done better? Do you look at her and say she's too skinny or damn she has a nice rack or ass? Do you say here's another BM going after the white man's trash?? Do you say WOW how did he get her??

Ladies do you look at the WW's man and say to yourself, she could have done better or do you say, he could have done better? Do you look at him and say to yourself he shouldn't be looking at me this hard if he's with her? Do you even notice if she's looking at you looking at him?

Generally what are you thinking when you see the classic suburban WW with a black guy dressed in Urban gear, Tims or clean slippers,(sneakers not actual flip flops with fucking socks, I hate that shit), coogi polo shirt. Is she with him because he's into Hip Hop only? Is he with her because bagging a white girl is cool. I am referring to a couple that's 19-25..

What are you thinking when you see and older couple? Do you wonder if they are trailblazers or recent entries into these modern times in relationships...

 

When I'm out and about treat everyone the same though there have been a few moments where I have made ey contact smiled even waved to another interracial couple and they usually smile back and wave themselves it's like we all understand.

To answer what I think when I se that WW it depends what she looks like and stuff of that nature.

When I see classic suburban WW with a "hip-hop" BM I think well there is a really cool relationship they have obvious cultural differences but they like each other maybe even love each other. I usually think "that is one down WW."

When I see an older couple I usually think they wee trailblazers ones who during a time where it was possibly illegal to marry each other they loved each other. I've always wanted to stop one of them an d ask "what as it like to be in love during a time when it was widely taboo?"

 

I treat them the way I'd treat any other couple. I am not eager to make contact with them as if we are on the same team or have anything in common. We probably don't, actually.

Now if they have children or I see wedding rings I'm more likey to nod because then I know we have something in common that's worth acknowledging. I have very little in common with any random, unmarried, childless interracial couple.


An older interracial couple would only impress me if they'd been married, to each other, since they were young.

 

Great question you raise!

This is a topic of discussion I never would have thought to bring up, but it is definitely a situation I have experienced on almost every occaision while out with a companion.

I try not to pay any attention to others, but I do notice others trying to interact with me, and whoever I'm with. Sometimes I'll notice a hot looking IR couple, and say to myself, what a lucky BM, but then I'll see him, or both of them look our way, her with a look of lust, and him with a look of I'm a lucky BM too. I've been tempted to broach a conversation on the prospects of swapping spouses. lol, just kidding. But that's the look I/we get from them.

But the killer is when I'm out with a companion, how other WW seem to get rather bold about trying to steal my attention from the one I'm with. The level of eye contact increases dramatically, and so does the flirtations, and general openness to conversate with me. I feel like I must look 10 times hotter to other WW, when I'm with a white companion.

 

To say I was shocked when I learned interracial relationships are still not wholly accepted (in the US) would be an understatement.

I can't believe that it even turns heads, that interracial couples still stand out! I thought that in America things had progressed way past that but boy was I wrong (sadly).

When I was with my BM who happened to live here in Aus, we were very well accepted and I did not notice any strange looks at all... But when I was visiting DC I was walking down a street beside a BM friend of mine and we, or he, received a few funny looks, and there was one man who gave him a 'good on ya' wink:smt043

 

I agree.

 

I think everyone notices B/W couples whether they admit it or not...its there sub consciously(?).For expample, If you see a real attractive woman with an average looking guy or a younger woman with an older man that you know isn't a blood relative...you start to wonder if he's rich, is she being blackmailed, does he have some good drugs..why is she with him!!?!!!
We all do it.If I see a descent brother with a attractive white woman,I'll give him a head nod as we're walking by. You know.."Damn, son scoop a cute one."
Yeah, those older I/R couples warm my heart as well....including I like the B/W couples with the babies in the stroller..a real Hallmark moment for me it tells me they're trying to make it work even with all the bullsh-t that's against them.

 

Shion don't know if you are a guy or girl but when my wife first arrived in the US we went into DC to take in the sights while we were walking I noticed this BM basically undressing my wife to the point where he blurted out....

"Damn playboy you did it right"

Causing she and I to burst out laughing, even while we were passing him he was looking back at us. So I agree most people notice whether they admit it or not, even if it's a quick look with the eyes....

 

What I'd like to know is, has there ever been a moment while you're with your wife, when the looks, or stares are uncomfortable, or shall I say it, rude? And does it matter what race is actually doing the staring? Are you more offended if a WM looks/stares, than if it's a BM?

 

Sorry Malik, I'm not that forward..I'll glance but not stare. I'm a MP in the Air Force..the 5 second stare rule is considered sexual harassment so I try not to go there.
Yes, staring can make you feel uncomfortable,I lived in Turkey for 2 years and eventually got tired of the eye fucking...as we call it.Don't mind children being curious but adults staring at ya is plain rude.
BTW, I 'm a guy.

 

I've seen people stare at us OFTEN I am going to assume for two reasons. One the whole mixed couple thingy, two my wife is extremely attractive and I am decent looking the assumption is and I have been asked. "How did you get that".

I though never pay any attention to those staring at us for extended periods of time

 

Right On!

Nor should you give a damn.

Do you experience a certain amount of satisfaction in the fact that white guys may see you with your girl, and you just knew they were eating their heart out with frustration? Me personally, I get a particular rush out of that myself, and to add to that, it's especially sweet when my companion is often times visibly much younger than myself.

 

I don't mind telling anybody there other half looks good but I don't stare, its rude....

 

Personally, when I am out with my man, I am focused on him not so much what others around us are doing or looking at. I remember when I was young in the Midwest around 1987 (I am dating myself here) I came out of a store with my boyfriend and another bm said "wooooooooweeeeeeeee you sure did good for yourself, bra" or something like that and I 100% took it as a compliment. But in a way it was kind of weird and I would be surprised to hear someone say that here in California in 2008.

I date black men because they are the hottest, finest, sexiest men on the planet not because I am trying to make a statement. I don't check out other i/r couples any more than any other couple. There is someone for everyone and I am not about to make judgments on who coulda/woulda/shoulda done different or "better." And I can say I have never looked at another man with "lust" when I was out with my man, nothing wrong with looking I know, but I focus on who I am with.

 

When my wife and I see another IR couple, we smile at them and 99% of the time they smile back. Its a pleasant exchange of knowing.

 

That stems from experience and maturity, which many who are new to this type of dating are not aware of.

When I first arrived to the States, I dated a girl for two weeks. Her parents reside from Italy but she was born in America. She kept pointing out to other couples walking down the street having the same thing as us in common.

It became quite annoying and I broke up with her due to the way she was carrying on. Everything to her was Black & White and, I couldn’t be bothered with such a limited conversation. I actually met her former boyfriend and he said all she dates is dark-skin (Sean Combs) Black guys and, he was surprised I was dating her since I am not dark-skin. I was rather surprised upon hearing she only dates Black guys based on her attitude. She came across very immature although having a lot of experience dating Black guys.

 

I'am from NYC, so eye contact is very rare for me.

If I spot other IR couples, I kinda scope out the girl to see if she is a hot piece of ass.