Gah!! *smacks forehead repeatedly*

Okay I am seriously one of the most idiotic people on the planet. You black men, I swear you just do something to me and I turn into a complete blushing fool and totally lose my brains.

Case in point: I'm at a little grocery store and a sent-from-heaven black Adonis walks by. After catching my breath I decide to go talk to him. So I walk up to him, then like a complete fool just keep on walking because I am retarded. He glances at me but that's it. So lickety-split I decide Oh I must have forgotten something over there, maybe some peaches yes some peaches and so turn around to walk past him again. But do I say anything? Do you have to ask? I quite literally can't even bring myself to smile, I am so stunned by him and tongue-tied. And then as I get more frustrated with myself I start to think, Well he probably doesn't like white girls anyway, best not to try it anyway, he'll only laugh and all that other stuff that sends me straight to the checkout line and out the door to my car, whereupon I bang my head repeatedly on the steering wheel and congratulate myself on being an idiot of the highest order.

People, I feel like I'm 14 again, seriously. Now if I'm honest this is not a bad thing, not at all!! I have spent the last 15 years of my life being "the one in control" with a man and now . . . how the tables have turned!! I love it!! I love getting butterflies and blushing and not knowing what to do and feeling like someone else has the upper hand for once, but geeeeeeez it also means that I have no idea what to do. Seriously, that man was a god and because I decided to have a self-conscious attack I'll never get to know anything more about him. I can't let that happen again!!

Does anyone have any advice on what to do when your brain just completely shuts down??? I can never think of anything to say . . . of course as I was pulling into my driveway I thought of asking him, "Oh have you tried that?" about whatever he was looking at in the store and just strike up a conversation but of course I was already home. I do this all the time, completely go blank in person and then later think of something to say. Any tips? Any good pickup lines? Anything?

Thank you for allowing me to vent . . . and please forgive me for being such a dork . . . It's like I'm having to learn how to do all this stuff again for the very first time . . . :smt089

 

well..

for one thing...

it's good to see that you are still alive...and in posting form...

secondly...

if you can't think of anything to say infront of a black dude...just resort to the ol' college method of gettin bros..

flash em the goodie goods

 

:smt018 lol

 

j/k

i'm the class clown, i'm sure some more serious, educated types will come around and lend some advice..

as for me..

i never had any problems approaching black men..

so..

I won't be of any use

 

Ok so you take a deep breath and look at him and smile. Maybe a quiet hi/hello.

You can do it!

Can't tell you pick up lines....I wouldn't do that. Usually if he's interested, he's going to say something back and you go from there. If he just says "hi" back...maybe ask how his day is going. Keep it simple.

 

yeh..

i'm not a fan of pickup lines...

last girl to use one on me, said I looked like dennis rodman, and that he was a handsome man..

needless to say, she almost caught the pimp-hand..

 

LOL Seviyah that could have been me, I am pretty shy in person especially if he is serious eye candy. But yeah a smile is usually the route to go, if I catch him looking I will definitely smile (the have no doubts come and approach me smile) and lthen eave it up to him to approach me. Good luck next time around in the freezer section :wink:

 

men are stupid and simple creatures. i should know, ive been one for 28 years. only now do i get the way women flirt. i can be out with my woman having a few drinks and before i know it she's in a wierd mood later on that night, why? because some girl from across the way is burning holes into me. i am very oblivious. my advice to you is this....be overt. say hello. smile. let it be known but in a smart and not so overt way that you are very interested. when people are out shopping and doing the most basic things(the daily grind) a part of the brain takes over and everything else shuts down. you have to tap lightly, make your presence known.

 

I guess I'm not the only one that still has a 'freeze-up' form time-to-time. I just had it the other day with this really pretty brunette that works at the local pizzeria. It's like, I'll place my order over the phone and if she or her the other pretty co-worker picks up, I get all funny inside and overthink what I'll say before I go in to pick up my order.

It's so ridiculous of me to even do that! I hate it but love the fact that seldom does it even happen. As Seviya stated, it feels like being 15 all over again!

Thankfully, I am now over the whole unecessary nervousness that I used to get whenever I go in there. I think the girls could tell they had some sort of affect on me. Needless to say they were always very nice and polite.

 

Gosh I glad I don’t have to go through that again!
But you can always start with a smile. The have you tried that like could work. Also asking whet he recommends. That may encourage a longer conversation.

 

Confront the man and use the advice of the others. It is better than him coming to you.

 

I like smiling, direct eye contact and persistent loitering about.

 

Same here

 

He probably thought you were the occasional white chick that "stares" at him due to fear or something.If you're gonna look at him.make sure its not a threatening look or a look that indicates that you are scared or something.

 

Next time you see a Brother you're interested in..

Just walk up and talk about lighweight topics like the weather or football..nothing heavy or deep..

Then

End the convo by saying "I hope this isn't the last time I see you"

That'll work everytime

 

And lo, the clouds parted . . .

rayer:

I'm dead serious, that has to be the most fanfuckingtastic thing ever. That is perfect. That is beyond perfection. You are a god and I love you. A million times thank you!!!!!!!! That statement will go into rotation tonight!!

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!

 

good advice, but no no on the football.

cant assume all guys like sports, the weather is good, but stay away from too obvious topics.

maybe it's me but i would prefer to have a woman start off with good books or some other related thing. then again, i make art so you know i never learned how to toss a proper spiral

 

Gaaahhhdamnnn! :evil: FIFTEEN YARD PERSONAL FOUL!!! You should've Jimmy-Supafly Drop-kicked her for that affront! That just aint right. :x

Seviya, really, there isn't much you need to do. Like everyone else said, avoid lame-ass lines. Just be real and candid. Trust me, if a fine-ass female like yourself displayed body language that suggested interest, I'd be bashfull as well. So keep in mind that the brotha mind be as apprehensive as you. Nonetheless, say hi, smile. Personaly, I'd be all over you like bubbles in a bathtub!

 

honestly man, who wouldn't




If Sev has trouble picking up dudes, everyone's fuked..

that's a bad omen, indeed...


as for the rodman quote....

he did used to bang madonna and all...

so... i guess it ain't all bad..

*dyes his hair blonde and gets body piercings*

 

what do these two people have in common?











think about it.
they were both involved with madonna.
the plot thickens?
i dunno.