Going "back" to my race

This is something very interesting that I know alot of people who go back does.


Alot of people on here has expressed that they don't date IR exclusively.
(including myself) So I ask if you do go back to dating BW and the
women goes back to dating WM will you still feel the need to be part of
an interracial website? Will you tell your same race partner that you were
apart of this website? Or even more so will you tell her/him you have dated and have a strong attraction towards the WW/BM?

I ask because I know alot of people(mostly guys) who have went back and tells their partner none of their attractions with white women and wants nothing else to do with white women. And
have heard it is the same thing with white women when they go back.

 

I'm on this site because I support IR of all types but I believe that black men and white women have it the hardest.

If I were dating a black woman at this stage in my life I would still be here to some degree.

I try to look at IR relationships as regular relationships with just a little "extra" so I try not to view it as one side or the other.

When I was in college back in the late 80's a black lady I was dating one day asked me if I had ever been with a white woman and I asked why she wanted to know. She told me that if I had she would not have anything to do with me!!!
I think I know why people don't/shouldn't talk about their past!!!!
So to answer one of your questions: If I went back I would not tell my girl that I dated white women at first but I would tell her before too long in the relationship because that's who I am.
If she had/has issues with that then I guess I'd move on.
Love knows no shame if it's real.

I hope you stick around once you get back to your own race however. 8)

Is there some reason you want to tell the public about why you're going back as you say?

I thought you had a current old lady. No?

But please keep this in mind Kenny... Once you go black you never go back!!!! :twisted:

I know man. Bad joke!

 

Since some people aren't exclusive and feel practically equal about all races I doubt if they would have feelings of returning as they never left.

 

I would tell my white bf right away, meaning as soon as the subject came up, if it ever does, because i have nothing to be ashamed of, and if he's so stupid as to not date me because I dated BM, than I wanna know from the start and not waste my time with him.

i think i would still come here because i enjoy reading the intelligent enlightning posts of some, and posting in the threads that are interesting to me and catch my eye.......and he would have no reason to mind or "forbid" me.

 

MistressB went from a black boyfriend to a white one and posts a lot less now, but I wish she continued posting. I appreciate her insights.

If I were ever to lose my husband and went on to start a relationship with a white man, I would be open about my IR past (would be kind of hard to hide a marriage). I would not even consider dating him if he harbored any kind of prejudices, because I do not associate with prejudiced people. A prejudiced man is so not on my level that how am I going to build a relationship with him? Raise kids with him?? Can a snake mate with a bear???

But I know shameful, shameful stories of Russian girls back in Russia who would have a baby with a black man, and when they would try to date a Russian man, some of the Russian men would turn away from the girl as soon as they found out she has a mixed child. Other Russian men took it just fine and treated the children as their own, which speaks in their favor and gives me another reason never to stereotype anyone.

 

I think I would still be a part of an interracial site because if I did end up going with a white guy, it would not mean that I would not still be attracted to black guys. I don't know that I would tell my same race partner about my strong attraction to BM. I probably wouldn't because he may then feel threatened by any black men I speak to even if we're just friends or whatever. He might also start to think why am I with him if I have such a strong attraction to BM?

 

hmmm......why feel threatened, if I'm with him, it means I'm very, very attracted to him, so he shouldnt worry about any other man, black or white, plus, if i see other guys who look good, doesnt mean i'm gonna do anything about it or leave one guy for a more attracticve guy, there's always someone more attractive for every woman and every man.

plus, I don't think you can be equally attracted to both races in the same time. When you're attracted to one the attraction for the other diminishes, and depending the colour your man is, you tend to focus on that colour and features at the time being.

somehow i doubt that it will happen though, exactly because, as i said, since i like BM, my attraction to WM has diminished........lots. I can see them as good looking and all (the ones who are), but I just dont desire them. LOL. Well, thats me.

i cant post.proxy error.

 

I said I had friends who have gone back not me homie.

 

I would never ever "hide" the identity of my partner, ex-partner or friends, nor would I hide my interests - such as this website, but the mere fact that someone would feel the urge to question me about the "race" or "color" of my ex-partner would be such a major turn off for me that I would stop dating this guy anyway.

 

I got you.
My bad. 8)

 

The insights shared in here are very considered, but this is mine: If I felt the need to, you know, 'go back' to only dating 'my race' of people, then what would be the point of 'going astray' altogether, especially if it means dating someone of the same pigmentation, who would have some kind of weird-ass personal problem with it?



Along with that, what in the hell would cause me to 'cease and desist' my preference for white women entirely, and even go as far as to distance myself from them, especially if it's only to be stupid, paranoid, elitist, and overall racist, just to please SOMEONE ELSE???

 

Well, i'm corresponding with a latin girl right now (i think we really have a great chance to hit it off) and so, even though she's not white per se, i hope i'll always have a place on this magnificent forum ours. And as far as me telling her that i'm part of this website, i don't think it's necessary, as i'm dating a latin girl and not a white girl. But, if she wants to know i'll be glad to tell her. :wink:

 

I'm on several IR boards and often those who have been there long enough that they feel like family, stay even if they go back to dating within their own race, because we've become friends..

I'm not sure what I'd do.. but I am pretty sure hell is going to freeze over before I date in my race ..

 

I see your point, Bryant. As i've said numerous times, Eva my fiancee is Latina(Cuban/Dominican to be exact) and she knows i am a member of this site which is fine by her. She too is attracted to white guys and i have no problem with that either. Although she does say that she hopes i will not leave her for the next pretty white girl i see and that latinas are the ultimate :lol: :lol:

About still being on this site, i do not think that should be a problem. I've made it clear from my very first posts here that my fiancee was not white and i've not received any negative comments about it. Some might question my being here given the name of the site but i feel this site is for discussions and what have you so everyone is welcome(well not everyone exactly).

 

haha....if i'm gonna date interracially i'll always choose between a white or a latin girl most likely. it's 50/50 with those two.

Yeah, i agree Chris. I don't think it should be a problem with you dating a latin woman, and me potentially dating a latin woman. This forum has so many differing topics and opinions, and of course, we all know that not all of them are about black men and white women. Most of them are, but we've had some really interesting discussions about other things as well, and that to me, is what makes this forum better than all of the rest. We're all interested in dating interracially here, so we'll always have that in common. I have to admit though, that it would be a little awkward if we were exclusively dating inside of our race (black women) and we were members of this forum. If we were, then our reasons for being on this site would be a little questionable.

 

Re:

I've heard a lot about white guys not being interested in dating white women who've been with black guys. One of the main reasons advanced is the old stereotype...fear that they may not be able to satisfy the woman sexually as well as her ex, and that as a result, she'd keep comparing his performance with that of the black guy she was with. Eventually, they fear she may run back to black men for that same purpose. Another one I've heard, which really offends me, is that they view such white women as used goods and are afraid (this is hard to write, it really bothers me) that they might end up getting some venereal diseases, including HIV/AIDS.

 

That's a pretty good point, Bryant. It WOULD seem sketchy (at least to me) for anyone to be in here, but ONLY date exclusively within their own ethnicity of people.

 

Re:

Thats what alot of whiteguys Im hearing are saying about Heidi Klum.

Do you or anybody else know if it's true?

 

Re:

THIS IS VERY TRUE!!

I was married to a ww for 6 years and we have a beautiful son. Our split was amicable and mutual. I have no problem dating different races although I prefer ww. My ex, who is blonde, green eyes, and german decent has had the damnest time dating. She says that white men hit on her all the time, and black men rarely approach her. Many of them say she doesn't look like the type to date black men. She has gone out on dates with white men and has met some great guys (her words.) As soon as she breaks out the pictures of our son - - - - BOOM! She starts getting the "I'm busy" "I'm not ready for a relationship" and other b.s. that men say to weasle their way out of courtship. One man told her point blank that she would be hard pressed to find a decent white man because she had been "tainted" by a black man. He gave her statistics of the HIV/AIDS rate of black men and the fact that no white guy wants to raise a black child.

One of my really good friends, a black man, just recently married a white woman who has two children that sport a head full of read hair and green eyes. Their father has been out of the picture for years. He adopted both kids and they both call him Dad. My buddy may be an anomaly but I'm proud of him. I'm sure there are white men out there that would do the same but my ex hasn't met one. She actually met a Filipino guy that seems to make her very happy.

Not white man bashing, just stating my experiences...

 

Re:

I think that last part is what 'some' might say to justify their own guilt for saying they won't touch a woman who has been with a black man... so if he thinks she is diseased by her actions, he is right in not touching that 'unclean thing'..

its all a bunch of BS, but.. racists will be racists...


to be honest, I think more common (even if they don't admit it out loud) is the white men who have heard the stereotype that all black men are well endowed and all black men are better at sex..

so they feel somewhat inhibited if they are able to perform as well, pleasing the women once she has been with a BM.

Lets face it.. what guy wants to be compared to someone who was sexually better?

so fear of underperforming review is why some may not date WW who have been with BM


For the WM who is not racist and is secure in himself, he isn't going to care and is willing to date a WW who has dated BM.