Help with online dating??

I don't think it is that there are not 'christian' ww who date Ir. But lets face it, statistically more people date within their race than out of it.

So the best chances of finding someone is not at a site (that is for all races) because most people who want to date outside their race will chose an IR personals site.

 

I am a Christian ww dating a black man. And I know alot of Christian WW who would date black men.But I know some who wouldn't. It depends on how they are because I know some Christian girls who believe you shouldn't "mix blood" They aren't racist they just wouldn't marry a black man. That is one thing I wish my man and I had in common. He is a Muslim, adding a totally new element to our relationship. We are interracial, interfaith and different languages! Atleast I love a challenge.

Anyways not the point. The point is there are plenty of WW christians who would date and marry black men. They aren't as common as ww/wm christians so don't lose hope. You will find them! They're out there.

 

Sassy is right again! :wink: keep going sista!

 

Perhaps its because the type of nice Christian girl you and I are looking for tend to be conservative and unlikely/unwilling to do something "wild"/outrageous - like marry a BM.

But then again (I'm playing the devil's advocate here), check out the non-Christian dating sites. You'll see that WW preferences are pretty much the same. They too are willing to consider every other ethicity but black. Some even check the "Caribbean" box under preferred ethicities, but leave out the "Black/African-american" box. Obviously they do not know that Caribbeans are black. But the thing I find most odd is how many of them write about wanting to go to Africa/the under developed world to help/mission, yet are not keen of marrying one of the people the supposedly are about. (Is this hyprocisy? Am I being hard on them?)

If you're refering to the ladies on this site or those with profiles on IR dating web sites, they are the minority, who have discovered or is it cultivated an interest in men of other ethincities and are openly willing to cosider dating BM for instance.

So it may not be the conservatism of white Christian women, but the just how unpopular dating/courting a BM is - which is quite strange indeed considering although that modern black culture (music, slang, dress style) is now the dominant pop culture, the progenitors have managed to outcasts of some sort.

One last cavat. I suspect not every WW is decidedly anti dating a BM. Some of them will court/marry any man they fall in love and connect with, even if its a BM. Check out this survey for example.

 

oh wow.. I've done the dating a Muslim deal.. I wouldn't do it again.. but then that is mostly because I love Christmas and want to share it... that and I love making ham dinners.

 

well he said he would celebrate christmas....so that was nice....but then I have to compromise in some areas as well.....really? ham?? how do you make it? i have always wanted to know....


I think that conservative ww date black men by the way. I am ultra conservative but I would never be with anyone else.....And I know I am not a rarity in this case! There are plenty of conservative christian ww who would date black men.

 

I know plenty of 'christian women who date BM too".. I just really think you aren't going to find them in a 'generic christian' site.

Allessa.. maybe we can talk about the dating a Muslim specifics elsewhere so we don't' take over this thread in a different direction... cuz I am cool to talk about it more elsewhere.. maybe I'll start a thread..

 

But on the sites for all races, you get more people who aren't christians. It's so frustrating when i come across an absolutely amazing profile of a woman, and then at the end she says that she doesn't believe in God. I can respect peoples opinions, whoever doesn't believe in God and everything (i won't force my beliefs on anyone), but i feel like in order for me to be in a meaningful relationship with a woman, we both have to have some form of belief in God (she can even be a catholic). But if she doesn't have a belief in God, i don't think we'd be a very good match relationship wise.

 

That very well may be the case. That definitely sounds like a good theory to me.

Yeah, i find that to be really weird. Some ww are interested in dating interracially, and under the category where they name which types they'd be interested in, they name white, caribbean, latin, asian, and even native american, but they DO NOT name black men. Come on, they don't find any black guy attractive?? It seems like some ww just don't want to risk the ridicule. :smt102

That's a very interesting point. It's weird how some white girls can love listening to rap and r&b, but won't go near black guys. Sardonic and kennyG, and all the other guys are talking about this over in the buji ho's section i think. It's definitely an interesting topic though.

 

That is where saying how important God it so you, is needed then on your profile.

 

Bryant I am going to post this here....

I just wanted to say that and I know this isn't any consolation, but if I didn't have a man you would be the guy I would go after..... :wink:

 

Alessandra, i do believe you've made my day with your kind remarks. :wink: :wink: Thank you very much!!! Hopefully i can find somebody as sweet as you've been to me. :wink: :wink:

 

Glad I could make your day a little bit better! :wink: I honestly don't know why those girls on those sistes aren't messaging you.....this is a strange world....and btw for your hottness I'd give you more than a 7....a big 1-0!!!!!!! :smt058

 

I don't think i've ever blushed so much in my life. You're too kind Alessandra!!! :yawinkle: :yawinkle: And with the girls not messaging me or anything, i guess i shouldn't worry so much about it. Maybe all of these girls are overlooking me because God is saving me
up for somebody really special. Maybe a virgin like myself maybe??:smt061 who knows..... i'll just have to wait and see what happens i guess.

 

God has something in mind! He always does!!!! :wink:

You sound too good to be true....man this is the worst time to be attached :roll: when a nice guy like you comes around.....

 

while I won't go so far as to say if I didn't have a bf.... since you are obviously too young for me..

but I do agree with Alessa.. in that I see nothing wrong with you either.. quite the opposite!!

 

Bryant,

My young brotha..... I am going to help you out a little by picking up your spirits and giving you advice that I know from experience. I went through some of what your are dealing with earlier in my life. If it makes you feel any better, I was a late bloomer. I didn't start getting bombarded by women until I was around 25, and I am now 27 :wink: And I have learned a lot in those two years.....

You are being way too cynical with this issue :smt018. So I am going to help you see the big picture.

I, too, am a christian man and would not marry a non-christian woman.
I know for a fact that there are many christian white women, asian women, filipino women, and any other ethnic group of woman that would LOVE to date and marry a black man. Even though we are among the most hated group of people, this is a huge world bro. and not all women hate us. Don't pay attention to the ones on the web sites (and the fake Hollywood wannabes that the guys talk about in the buji hoes section) because there are literally billions of billions of women in the world that will date you, and maybe a few hundred on a web site of any kind. Also, don't limit yourself to women in the U.S. you may have to go abroad because a lot of non-U.S. white women tend to not be as racist. Now, if there are billions upon billions of women in the world, and only a few hundred on a web site, then what does that tell you? It means that you must keep the faith, keep going, suit up, and get out there to search for her my young jedi. The bible does say that a man that findeth a wife finds a good thing, right :wink: You may or may not find her on a website because the numbers of quality women on any of these websites are too small, so you have to go outside the web into the cold world. But it will be a fight because the filtering process is a b***h. NO MAN (regardless of how attractive he is) has ever married the first woman he courted. You will have to go through a few not-so-good women before you find the right one.

Bryant,
You seem down because you don't have a girl so here is another crucial point that I know all too well from experience.....
Having a girlfriend/wife does not, I repeat DOES NOT make your life better, necessarily. With girlfriends come emotional attachments, giving up some of your time, and other mental strains that I won't mention here. That's why I told you earlier that it is crucial that you have yourself together financially, spiritually, and emotionally before actively going on the hunt. Reason being is because with getting a girlfriend/wife comes physical and emotional responsibilities that you will have to her that will throw you off focus if you don't already have firm footing or are still trying to develop yourself.

All of the people on this thread gave you good advice, but Qsassy said something earlier in this thread that really hit home for me because I had to learn this truth the hard way.

Sassy said something about having an edge because of the competition out there and she couldn't be more right. Having an edge is CRUCIAL. I found this out the hard way early in life. No matter how intelligent you are, how spiritual you are, or how many nice things you have, you still must have a certain something that makes you stand out from those other guys out there. You may have good looks, a unique style of clothing, a nice body, or whatever. The key is to find your edge and make it shine. The reason you need and edge is because the dating game is very shady my brotha where it's all about survival of the fittest. It's primal and it's harsh. Even though we are christians Bryant, you must remember that while we are still in THIS world we are just flesh and blood, and girls (even christian girls) like eye candy. Now :lol: , keep in mind that not all women go by this format. The trick is:

1. Finding christian women who are exceptions to the rule.
2. Finding christian women who are exceptions to the rule that are still single :smt017
3. Finding the environment where interracial dating is all-around. I am closest to the MD., VA., and DC tri-state area. Really good areas are in Minnesota (twin cities of St. Paul and Minneapolis) and other cities throughout the U.S. Go to the section where the guys talk about the best cities for IR.

Also, I noticed that you say earlier in the thread that you want a REALLY pretty girl (correct me if I am wrong on that). You may need to lower your physical standards because I have found out that the best candidates for dating are the ones who are not Hollywood prototype show-stoppers. Sure, there are REALLY pretty christian girls out there, but I want you to get what the media says about how a woman should look out of your head because 9 times out of 10, the woman you end up with may not live up to media standards.

So Bryant what am I saying?
I am saying that whether you decide to shop for women online or in the real world:

1. REAL christian women won't care about being ridiculed because she is with a BM.
2. REAL christian women may or may not be considered attractive by the masses, but can still hold her own and will be attractive in YOUR eyes.
3. REAL christian women don't care about trying to look like a fake Hollywood prototype, like the women the guys talk about in the buji hoes section.

Keep the faith bro. and get out there and fight :smt071 :smt072 God will eventually send her your way, but you want to make sure that you are ready.......

Ohhhhhhh!!!! And lastly, I know of a website that has a very misleading name, but has women of every ethnic group from white to italian to asian to hispanic to Jewish that are specifically looking for a BLACK MAN. It is called www.blackpeoplemeet.com. :shock:

Like I said, don't let the name of the website fool you.
I hope this makes your job easier and eases your thoughts a little. Now go fight my young jedi!

Peace out...

 

Wow Nilan, that was one of the most inspiring, well thought out posts i've EVER read. So much of what you wrote hit home with me, it's unbelievable. You know what they say, God works in mysterious ways. I believe that what you wrote here is meant to give me a sense of direction for what i should come to expect, and also for things that i should hope for in the future. It is a big world isn't it. I shouldn't stress myself out over not getting messages from a few dating sites.

Maybe i should travel, and actually see the world for a change. I think that would be good for me. Oh yeah, i mentioned earlier that i wanted an attractive girl, but not the Hollywood type of attractive. If she's attractive in my eyes, that's the most important thing. It wouldn't even matter what anybody else thinks of her, as long as i like what i'm seeing. :smt007 But man Nilan, this was a great post. Actually, it was really, really great.

I even think i'll print it out because there are so many good things that you've said in here. Where did you learn all of this stuff from huh?? :smt003 :smt003 Thanks very much for all of your many words of wisdom. I greatly appreciate every bit of it!!

 

Alessandra, it takes a great person who has value to recognize another great person who has value you know. You sound like a precious gem to me!! If i can find somebody with your level of sweetness one day, i'll be a luuuuuuucky guy. :smt045 :smt045

 

Thanks Q. You've all made my day!