How do ya'll feel about/deal with prejudice?

Discussion in 'Dealing with Prejudice' started by desreveRsIgnitirW, Oct 1, 2010.

  1. desreveRsIgnitirW

    desreveRsIgnitirW New Member

    How do ya'll feel about prejudice?

    A complaint from alot of black men in IR is that white women do not understand prejudice and when something happens,it divides the 2,being she cant relate. Alot of brothas say they'd date a WW but wouldn't marry them for the simple fact she cant relate to certain things. It would be wonderful if we could reach a mutual point and aid Bm/Ww couples in this area so we could see more serious Bm/Ww relationships.

    I see alot of blogs about Bm/Ww but this subject is is almost always avoided. What can be done to bring Bm and Ww closer when prejudice is present?
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2010
  2. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Dealing with prejudice is the biggest challenge in IR. Like in all significant relationships you have attraction, chemistry, love, commitment & trust. It's the level of love, commitment, communication & trust by both people that determines the strength & success of the relationship.

    All relationships require hard work and a willingness to be there for each other no matter what. Ww & bm have to work even harder than everyone else, but in my opinion, it's worth it if you're with the right person for the right reasons.

    With strong communication & without judgement IR couples have to form a united front. This is always important but more so when one is going through something the other cannot completely understand not having been in their shoes. I can't say that I know first hand what it's like to be a bm any more than a bm knows exactly what it's like to be a ww BUT it doesn't have to be our own personal experience for us to be supportive & be able to stand united.

    When you truly love someone, you put every effort into understanding and supporting what your partner is going through. When I love a man, I hurt when he hurts; I cry when he cries; I laugh when he laughs; when he's happy & content so am I. When it's the type of love it should be to spend your life with someone, it's truly like the Bible says, the two become one.

    I think the men spoken of in this thread aren't talking about the kind of prejudice directed at the IR couple; they're talking about their own personal attacks. I've seen bm I love suffer through some ugly things due to prejudice, & this includes my son. Although I've dealt with prejudice directed at myself for being a woman (as most women can identify with) and for racial reasons, I know it's not the same thing that bm go through. We may not be able to empathize but we can sympathize, support and love our men when they need us most & vice versa. We should always have each other's backs.

    Sometimes I believe that what hinders the success of IR (& other relationships) is the lack of love, lack of trust, lack of commitment, poor communication, selfishness (the Bible also tells us to esteem others better than ourselves), lack of patience & fear. The biggest issue, in my opinion, is fear. Fear that you won't be loved & valued for who you are or that the one who claims to love you won't be there with you for better or worse as they promise to be. When we allow fear to take hold, it can destroy everything we've built & prevents us from having what we want & need. The Bible (again) tells us that there is no fear in love; perfect (or complete) love casts out fear.

    So ww & bm, we should always be willing to take a chance & put ourselves out there with each other. Otherwise we might miss out on something beautiful.
  3. Tony Soprano

    Tony Soprano Moderator

  4. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Thanks, TS!
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2010
  5. FG

    FG Well-Known Member

    Well spoken...
    Its a bit odd to say you cant date someone because they cant relate imo.

    Women cant relate being as man and vice versa as well,.. (just saying:))

    But like you said, we can emphatize and be there for eachother and that can go a long way
  6. desreveRsIgnitirW

    desreveRsIgnitirW New Member

    Absolutely wonderful Tam,I'm gonna give you a rep for this. I usually dont read the elongated posts that some posters make but I enjoyed reading this. Great job :smt023.

    I look foward to reading more of your posts.
  7. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Thanks Geek!

    Thanks, D! I know it was kinda long but it's a subject that means a lot to me! I tend to be pretty opinionated!
  8. desreveRsIgnitirW

    desreveRsIgnitirW New Member

    It was a great post. The problem with longer posts most of the time is people (including myself) stray off topic and its hard to focus while reading it,but this post remained on topic the entire time and provided a beautiful answer.

    From now on in the future if you make a long post,I will be sure to read it because I'm sure you'll have something great to say like this post.

    I'm not the only person who enjoyed it,Tony did too and he's known for NOT reading long posts around here. So with that said,you KNOW it was a great response.
  9. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Thanks, D! You're a sweetheart!
  10. Coldinohio

    Coldinohio New Member

    Hey flaminghetero, how are you today?
  11. darqnyte

    darqnyte New Member

    Totally agree with everyone else Tam,was thinking in my own words how to answer this Thread & after reading your post..well, you pretty much summed it up!

    Being in an IR we will Always face Prejudice people....It comes with the Territory:cool:
  12. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Thanks Darqnyte!

    It's some rough territory, too! IR couples deal with a lot of prejudice, but I think we can go beyond just facing prejudice people by looking through them instead. This shows them that their shit doesn't phase us & that we have the strength to keep on keepin' on without their approval. I'm gonna do my best not to waste my time worrying over & fighting with people whose opinion doesn't really matter.

    Sometimes that's easier said than done though. I have a smart mouth & I lose my temper on occasion when dealing with stupid people!

    I almost feel sorry for all the fools who are too stupid to know they're so stupid! I don't waste time hating 'em for it though; I don't have any hate in me. I just pray for 'em, move on & keep living my life.
  13. JordanC

    JordanC Well-Known Member

  14. wtarshi

    wtarshi Well-Known Member

    lol...he's into it today
  15. desreveRsIgnitirW

    desreveRsIgnitirW New Member

    Na bro,FlamingHetero isn't here. As soon as Flaming comes I'll let you know.
  16. flaminghetero

    flaminghetero Well-Known Member

    I'm doing fine..:smt006
  17. flaminghetero

    flaminghetero Well-Known Member

  18. flaminghetero

    flaminghetero Well-Known Member

    Soon as i come you'll let him know.?????


  19. desreveRsIgnitirW

    desreveRsIgnitirW New Member

    Go look at the Quarantined threads. That should get you up to speed.
  20. Inner Beauty

    Inner Beauty New Member

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