How To Turn Down a White Woman

hahahaha

It's not that I'm "ol skool" (I'm 23, if that means anything), but my folks always warned me about aggressive women. I can't think of an instance where they were wrong either and I'm 7 years out of that rebellious stage. I'm not saying that I know everything now, but I find myself doing exactly what my parents did. It's just strange to me.

Man! I thought I was the only one that did that haha ... but I be so uncomfortable. At work they have me on the defense. I try to be nice, but they keep getting closer and closer. I'm always back peddling. For some reason my boss finds a reason to put her hands on me. "I love your hair!," hanging on me, getting behind me wrapping her arm around me or halfway trying to massage my back saying, "Are you OK?" I just brush it off and keep working. But then there's the redhead who hits me ... literally. Just comes right up to me and starts pushing me just begging me to flirt back. And don't get me started on the new girl. She's like "You're so sexy. You look good. Or you smell so sexy!" Then there are the customers, which I won't even go into. Sometimes I speechless. It's embarrassing. I don't know what to do.

 

Damn bro, you got it like that? Watcha do, work a love spell or are you au naturalle?

 

OH man. I really do feel for you. That is way beyond what I understood was happening. That is sexual harassment. I cant give yoiu any good advice because I dont know what it is like to work as a man in a female invironment, but I can sympathize. Not cool.

More and more I am hearing stories from black men where they were treated unprofessionally in the work place (ie as sex objects).

I know most of you guys on here dont understand where I am coming from on a lot of stuff, but this is one of the things that I hate. People will make comments to me about the men I am with, say things sexually. This kind of stuff never happens when I am with a non black man. Somehow they feel it is acceptable when he is black.

 

Who's The Boss,

I wouldn't be able to understand why anyone would interpret your intentions as standoffish and/or racist in any way. To me, you seem like a really nice and patient kind of guy (unlike ME sometimes :wink: ) but anyway, my advice for you is to just do whatever you can to stop all of the OBVIOUS harassment comin' at you, but in a way, you have to admit that you're obviously doing something right if women are THAT attracted to you, whether or not they do or don't express respectfully, and you probably already know why THAT is, as we all do.

Fly girl was on the money, so I'm not sure what she means by us not understanding where she's coming from.

 

I'm confused now. We would understand all of this just fine, and what does THIS have to do with 'a lot of stuff'?

 

i am with you boss, esp about your parents raising your about agressive and easy women. but just because a woman makes the first move to talk to you doesnt make her easy or agressive.

 

I think I get what you're saying, but then again I don't ... I'm guessing "THAT" means I absent-mindedly but somewhat purposely bring some of this unwanted attention to myself by the way I present myself (and I say this humbly as possible). Am I right? Or am I thinking too hard? hahaha

 

You could be right, but ... I don't know. I don't know what to call it. Sometimes I'm like maybe she's not and I wonder if ... but then I remember the ones from the past and I told myself I would never fall for that again.

 

In a way, you could be. You have to keep in mind that different people interpret different signals of body language differently. Maybe it isn't coming to you the way you wanted to perhaps?

 

cant blame all women for what a few did to ya mate!

 

You are not responsible for her problem. There is nothing you could be doing (short of asking) for her to feel she has permission to put her hands on you. She is doing it because she feels she can get away with it.

Do you think she knows it is making you uncomfortable? I am just asking out of curiousity. It honestly doesnt matter if she DOES know, cause she SHOULD know.

The guy I am seeing now works as a physical trainer. He started telling me some stories of how the women come on to him. In the beginning, it was just sort of funny stories. I didnt exactly get why he was telling me. Now, I think he is telling me the stories because it bothers him.

I think in some ways, sexual harassment is much worse for men because society tells them he should like it. It is harder for them to come forward or even acknowledge what is going on.

 

Whoa, so THAT'S what the reverse race card feels like... LOL!!

But seriously, you should turn her down just as you would turn down any other person that didn't interest you. Are you not interested in her BECAUSE she is white or for another reason (i.e. her personality, she's not physically attractive)? You can always offer to be friends, as there should be no reason to turn down a new friend.

 

Maybe ... I don't know

 

I thought they would stop when I jerk back. And I'm not trying to make a big scene because I wouldn't want anybody to do me like that. But it always seems to happen when everybody is around. Picture me yelling stop, then everybody turning around ... Lately, I've been finding something to lean against so they can't slip nothing in on me.

 

Other than her seeming to be the aggressive type ... Something is making me very uneasy about the situation. Just a feeling ... seems like the more comfortable she appears to be around me the more suspicious I get. Not a she's-crazy suspicious but I-probably-need-to-slow-down suspicious. It probably doesn't make sense to you at all but I really can't explain the way I want to.

 

Hey it's understandable. There is a woman who is interested, but there's an alarm in your head telling you that she's bad news. You'd better listen to it. Most guys don't, and then we regret it.

 

I was just reading this very interesting thread...brought a thought to my mind...if women who ask guys out are easy, then...ALL MEN ARE EASY...

actually, very EAAAAAAAASY!!...all man-whores thinking about sex every seconds...ok, maybe every 5 seconds!

Are we ever gonna get rid of the stereotype: KOOL PLAYA who sleeps around opposite the EASY WHITE/BLACK HO who sleeps around?

Let`s just try to understand that it`s only our dumb religious and man-dominated culture that (almost) convinced all of us that women have or should have a lower sex drive than men...

Big ups to all the "easy" taboo-defying women out there!!!!!!!!!!

 

:smt058 Very good point JREMINATOR.
I like you.

 

THANX Pearlgirl!

 

I dont think this is about her coming on to him, but rather it is about control. Is she coming on to him because she wants sex? Or is she doing it because it is in a controlled invironment (at work) and she wants to excert some control over him? Personally, I say it is a control issue.

Why would a woman who wants to have a simple sexual liason chose to do this in a public setting with his co-workers around? Because she wants to control the situation. She knows if she were to catch up with him in an isolated area and put her hands on him, she could not control the situation. He could slap the shit our of her or pull her bluff and try to have sex with her. For what ever sick twisted reason, she likes making him uncomfortable. She likes excerting control over him.

This is a classic example of sexual harassment. I am seriously, seriously uneasy giving advice, but I want to say he needs to be the first to report her. This situation could easily turn into a he said/she said with her accusing him of sexual harassment. Avoid that woman at all costs. Keep notes of all the times she makes you uncomfortable.