How To Turn Down a White Woman

I guess I'm not like most guys because I do.

 

This concept piques my curiosity even further.

 

Calmly say im sorry not intrested and walk away?

 

Hmmm....Who`s the Boss...I`m gonna ask the controversial question here...someone has to...

ARE U SURE u aren`t a little bit INTERESTED???...mixed feelings inside of u keeping you from taking a clear CUT decision??? are u totally the "victim" here?

I just think it`s always good to look at every angle!!

 

Well as of now, I think I've gotten the workplace taken care of. It took a lot of thought and advice to for me to get it done, but it should be done. I'm just glad it didn't get ugly. In fact I might be opening up more to them than I was before.

 

Victim sounds so feeble to me. As a man I tend to associate victim with females. Even the workplace incident I still don't want to accept it as sexual harassment ... even with all the embarrassment and shame. That's why I really don't want to say much about it. I can't even imagine what women who get raped feel like, however I do feel like my dignity (due respect) was stripped a little bit. But I don't want to be seen as the victim, rather just as a man with a couple of problems looking for some help on ways to solve them ... to make my life easier

As for being me "a little bit interested" ... Um ... The strangest thing happened to me the other day. We were in a deep conversation as usual and she'd been telling me earlier how I was so much like her "dad." If you know me, you know I got soul. I blew it off and was like "Please - I ain't nothing like your pops (while laughing at her)" Because we couldn't possibly talk anything alike. A few minutes later she finished off about three or four of my sentences. The first time she said what I said with me. I didn't make anything of it. The second time she did the exact thing louder and a little bit more exaggerated. The third she did it even louder and in a way where anybody from anywhere could tell she was mimicking her pops (or her "dad" as she calls him, ugh!). I was laughing because I knew she had me then. So the conversation went on for a little bit. But the fourth time she did it - it was a little bit different. She cut me off and went on for about ten seconds finishing something that I probably would've said. And then she stopped talking. She looked up at me and I looked at her for about five seconds ... and she walked off. I don't believe in mind readers, but I believe she was reading my mind the whole time. Because I was about to tell her I had to go on that one!

 

So u have deep conversations with her...
and she reads your mind...
And of course, it intrigues you...it attracts you...

You are definitely NOT a victim here, like u said urself...bcoz that woman definitely ATTRACTS u my friend...even in the sides of her that u do not like that much...now it`s yours to decide what to do with that and everything around a potential relationship with her!!

I`m Doc JREMINATOR, it`s going to be 50 dollars for this session!

 

JREMINATOR makes good points. You wouldn't continue fraternizing with her if you weren't at least slightly interested in her in SOME way, irregardless of whether it's only platonic or not. Maybe you should make it more clear that you don't want to be sexually involved with her, as she seems to want to be with you.

 

I don't see what the problem is, if you're not in to her just tell her and that you would appreciate it if she would respect you by backing off.

Now someone here mentioned that you should have given her a reason why you weren't interested in her because it would have avoided an arguement. Why should you have to explain yourself to anyone ? That's none of her or anyone's else business.

 

say no thank you

 

what kind of man cant just say, no thanks and walk away? why does he have to ask how to turn a ww down. Just do it, nes pas. man has being raised by single mothers(and I am not bashing all single mothers) feminized the whole black male population? From the DL to whining, to women hating mysogyny. it seems we have me raised thinking they are women. sorry but not putting down women, just saying that we are different and men need to know what it means to be a male.

 

I feel it is seriously unfair to call into question his "manhood". There is more at play here than just his male ego or pride. He is in a work situation. Work=money=rent=food on the table.

I havent said most of what I wanted to say on this thread for fear of embarassing him. But the sad truth is if this were a woman coming her and saying her male boss was touching her, asking her about her love life, and imaking her uncomfortable she would never gotten some of the stuff this guy has. It isnt fair.

I understand why he wants advice. Making the wrong move in a situation like this could cause him to get reported ot human resources or even terminated. I have watched too many times where aggressive women got vengeful and tried to report the men who rebuffed them.

If this thing were to go sideways on him, he needs to have taken notes and handled everything correctly. Us women have lots of resources to help us make smart decisions when we are sexually harassed at work. He said she is touching him and it makes him uncomfortable. Guess what? That is the legal defination of sexual harassment and hostile work environment when she questioned his dating habits in front of people.

It gets under my skin to watch his manhood being called into question. He is a human being having difficultly on his job and needs advice. Period.

 

thanks brownie, i agree.

flygirl, whose manhood? I wasnt talking about who is the boss. I was talking about men in general who cant act like men and cant speak up.

 

in the words of Nancy Reagan, "Just Say NO"!!!!

 

There was no misunderstanding when you specificly asked why HE has to ask how to turn down a ww. And you prequalified it with "what kind of man". Then you went on to say things about bm being feminized.

Come on now.

I am not going to argue with you two, but it was clear what you meant when you typed that. Lets not play games. The whole gist of your post was about what real manhood is.

Maybe I read too much into Who's the Boss's posts, but I didnt read too much into yours. The fact is if he were to take some of you guys advice and "be a man" with this woman, it could very well wind up with him in front of human resources. He doesnt need to "be a man". He needs to play smart and think 3 steps ahead of this woman. He needs to hope for the best and PLAN for the worst.

I have watched too many people loose their LEGITIMATE racial and/or gender discrimination claims due to not understand the law or planning to have to take it to court.

I have also seen women turn their office affairs into IMHO illegitimate claims of discrimination. I worked with a woman who started an affair with her married boss. He left his wife, moved in with her then changed his mind and decided to try and work things out with his wife. She got mad and filed changes on him. He was "laid off" soon after. She is still working.

Had another situation where a woman was very sexually aggressive with all the men. She was flirting/sexing the boss. He put her in for overtime she didnt work. Both the boss and her were fired, but during the hearings it came out that she was very touchy with all the men and some of the men reciprocated. A lot of guys got letters put in their files for sexual harassment for things like rubbing her shoulders and putting their arms around her shoulder when standing next to her. Would you want to go thru your career with a letter for sexual harassment in your permanent personel file?

You gotta be smart.

 

fly girl, it seems you want an argument by telling me that I was talking about him. if I did mean him specifically I would have said his name, i have never bit my tongue on what I meant in any of these rooms. I am hated for it and because of my views.

so please tell me why would I not just say his name? that is just silly.

 

thank you sistah, i agree with you, love yah!

 

Flygirl is absolutely right Tucker...

When u say "why does HE have to ask..." u are obviously talking about Who`s the Boss and not MEN in general...If so you would have said "why do THEY" or "why do MEN..."...Are u trying to deny what is written by yourself in front of all of us???

U gave him the right advice, "say NO"...why continue by putting his manhood in question? or u guys just need any subject to talk to each other with some "Ohhhhhhh...thanks sweetie....U r right darling" "My looooooooooving sistah..." etc...

Ok, let`s see if u can "laugh...really laugh" at yourselves too!

 

There's sooo much love in here, so much so that BROWNIE AND TUCKERREED NEED TO GET A ROOM!!! :twisted: