How would you cats answer this?

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Tina," and I have been dating for six months. For the most part, things are pretty good. However, she has been more promiscuous in the past than I would like in a partner. She fell in love with her sex buddy after 2 weeks and lied to me and said she was never in love with him, but I found letters to him saying how she was in love, wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, etc the same things she tell me now. Mind you these were old letters when they were "together". I found it hard to believe because she told me she never loved him, never thought of a future and that she dumped him because he was jealous of me when her and I were friends, yet her letters to him say the total opposite. She went from guy to guy to guy sexually in a 6 month period and was broken up over all of them when it ended. I understand people can change and that we should live in the present rather than dwell on the past. However, I can't forget Tina's past sex life, and at times I find myself consumed by it. I don't want this to affect our relationship, but it does. Can you offer some advice?
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For me, and I have to be honest, I would have trouble dealing with it knowing my WIFE was a whore at one time. Right or wrong, I couldn't deal with it. It's best be a grown ass man about yours and let her go and allow her to be happy with someone who can deal with it and you go and find what you're looking for.

 

I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I know a lot of men do. I think that's very big of you, though, to say let her go and be happy if you're not able to deal with it yourself.

 

I've been in that same position recently and even though she is/was mad at me, in the long run I think it's the best thing for her.

I've learned it's best to let a woman go and find the happiness she wants if you know you can't (or won't) give it to her.

 

i agree with spindip.. if its something someone can not deal with and they find out about it after gettin involved with the person i think they should part ways..but i would also say that it goes both ways not just the females..we all no the stigma if its a man doing the sleeping around its fine ..if its the woman sleeping around shes a W#$%...

Also if u knew about it in the beginin before becoming involved with the person (before becoming emotionally attached) i think you should have other reasons then the one u overlooked to be in the relationship..

ok that was just my thoughts sorry if i read to much into it

 

We all have a past.
Some have a few and some have more but if she is with me and we are happy... Cool.

Needless to say, it's not all cut and dry but I would lean towards letting her have her past and not pressing her about it.
If she is stll in love with her ex-sex buddy that will bring some measure of doubt because she lied about not loving the guy....

But show me any relationship without "issues".

 

You men on here kill me sometimes. Oprahfied. They need classes to teach some brothas how to man up, I swear.

The man's finding letters from his woman to another man after she said it was over. The other man is probably still fucking her.

Dump her.

 

I think you may have misunderstood the letter thing bro. They were old letters that revealed how she felt about him which was the opposite of what she told her BF.

 

Hmmm.... that's strange! I didn't read in the letter that the wife ever received money in exchange for sex! :roll:

 

OK, my bad. Still, dump her... :lol:

 

I don't know, but to me it sounds like this guy has some serious self-esteem issues. A woman who has 2 men in 6 months is a whore? And he says that she told him that she was seeing this other guy when they met 6 months ago, and yet he is still so concerned about something what might or might not have happened back then that he is invading her privacy and is going through her stuff, reading her old letters? What's next, reading her diaries, checking her phonebills, driving behind her to see who she is talking to? :shock:

If I would be her, I would dump him ...

 

Well if she have never told him that she was in love with the guy,
then it would be best and less heartbreaking if he did break it off.
Because most people with a promiscious past who lied about some of the
key parts to his/her current is more than likely still a whore.

 

SO let me get this straight:

The woman had a very promiscuous past before meeting the BF.

Fell in love after a couple of weeks with a guy that saw her as nothing than a fuck buddy.

The BF tried to accept it and look past her past.

The woman says she never cared for the last guy.

BF finds out she lied and was in love with the guy, wanted to spend her life with him AFTER 2 WEEKS.

All the while she's telling the BF the exact same thing. And yet the BF has self esteem issues after he found out she lied about what went down, her feeling for the fuck buddy and probably questioned what type of woman she is and wants to break up?

OK, you must be a chick that's been "out there". That makes no sense at all to me. I posted the article that I found to get a response from the fellas here and it's pretty much what I expected. Some cats can deal with it and some can't.

 

she shouldn't have lied. if she had to lie to him, he isn't the man for her. they should both dump each other.

 

There seems to be a little bit of inferiority complex on the part of both of them, and whenever there is inferiority complex, there won't be trust; nor honesty and that relationship or whatever is going to fail. Therefore, i do not think they can go very far with it.