I admit it...I have a bias against African and Carribean Men

I am posting this because I hope to be releived of my prejudices and biases.

Here's why I feel the way I do.....

Black men from these two groups seem to have issues with woman in general.

They are quick to label a woman a whore if she choses her own partners and doesn't keep her legs closed like a "good little woman".

Many that I have met have a girl at home but they themselves run around sticking their dick into as much p****y as they can, yet if a woman acts with the same freedom she is a slut.

Culturally the man is always put ahead of the woman, they see themselves as better.

They view white girls especially as easy, classless, and good for a F**K, but don't respect them at all.

I formed these opinion while working at a company where the warehouse was filled with African and Carribean men, like I've stated before, I will look someone in the eye and smile slighty, it is polite. Yet I found out later it was construed by the guys down there that I was looking for a lay.

I became close friends with a Jamaican guy, he lived close to me in Yonkers, we got to talking one day as I had to see him in the warehouse as part of my job. He was playing Bounty Killah, who I like, we started talking about music, decided we'd hang out, JUST AS FRIENDS.

Never once did he disrespect me or try to get with me as he knew I had a boyfriend and didn't play like that. We used to smoke dutches, watch Kung Fu movies and eat ox tail (my fav), all the time. He was my boy! And through him I learned about the beliefs concerning whitegirls and the thoughts held by many of the Africans.....

He counseled me not to smile or pay them any mind as the image it projected was one of a flirt, eventhough I was merely being polite!!

Since this site has quite a few Africans here, I wouldn't mind being schooled on this issue as I know it isn't very attractive and it's something I would like to rid myself of!!

Thanks guys

 

I think the word you missed out there was "some"...

 

You are right it is Some....but in my experience it has been all I've come in contact with, and that is quite a few....

I want to rid myself of this bias as I know it is wrong.

I think it woud be especially hard to be with a bm who is not an American Black as you have to contend with culture as well as race.

You are married to an African? Right? Did you feel at all like the woman is not as respected as the man? I mean it is in most African cultures that the male children are exulted over females.....

 

That's funny because I see a lot of the "male above female" BS coming out of many other countries like China and Mexico and all over the Middle East.

Also I had a friend [black male American born and raised] and he was the biggest sexist I've ever seen.

I think you are wonderful for trying to resolve what you think are your issues with black men from the islands and parts of Africa but in the end people are people.

Do I need to say this?

Not race or country will automaticlly make a person one way or the other.

Good luck with you quest however!
I really mean that in a good way too.
I'm not trying to be a butthole because it takes a lot to put yourself out there like that!

 

Here's what I think,

1. That Jamaican may have been trying to earn himself points by trashing other BM

2. Men in general want to sleep around but do not want their women to do same. Its not just an African or Jamaican thing, its a guy.

Maybe you might want to make friends with two or three Jamaican and African guys, and see for yourself if they are better or worse than AA guys. Thats better than talking someone's word for it.

 

Thanks guys,

You both make excellent points. You're right it should not be an issue as people are people.

I just find it hard to let this prejudice go. And I don't know why and it bothers me.....

Those other countries are exetremely biased against woman aas well, and yes many American men, black and white feel the same way...

I was hoping some of the Island and African men would be open to discuss this.....is this something they hear their friends say? Do they think in general white girls are flirts and an easy lay? Is this something they take into account when they pursue a whitegirl? I am just curious....

My Jamaican friend might have been trying to get points but I don't see it like that as he respected me enough to know better than to put any kind of moves on me, and would often talk pretty frankly about what was said by other males at work and how they discussed the females there....

I don't like feeling this way, and I know it is wrong to do so, it doesn't make any sense as prejudice thoughts never do. I was hoping if I could understand the culture better I wouldn't feel like this, and to hear from the mouth of those it applies to, perhaps I would begin to see how culture affects attitudes.

 

I used to feel the same way... now, it's not that I don't anymore, I just don't care about the issue... I kind of don't give a hoot about race relations at this point in my life... got other things on my mind. My husband is African and born and raised in Africa. But he's different from the guys you described. He doesn't run with the crowd... follows his own mind.

Regarding your issue:

Keep being polite and smiling! Whatever they think, let them think, who cares? A well-raised person is equally polite to everyone, old or young, male or female, president or janitor. If they see it through some different kind of glass, what does that have to do with you??? You know what's right!

I think it's good for a woman to be careful with men, be it Afr/Car men or any men at all. It's good to get a sense of who you're dealing with before you open your legs... or your wallet! I have stories from my friends, who are actually black females and who have been played by African and Caribbean guys not only for sex but for money that they "borrowed" and never paid back. I'm talking hundreds of dollars! Mind you, one of these guys was a "born again Christian." You'd think you can trust one of those! :roll:

At the same time, I have a friend who was in love with a Caribbean guy who was married, they fell in love, and he decided to remain faithful to his wife regardless - and his wife is white! People are different.

With any guy, my standpoint is, a woman must be very careful with any man, period - until she, in her mind, realizes who she's dealing with, however long it takes her. Don't let anyone pressure you, use your own judgement and go at your own pace...

 

Goddamn these sexist Africans!
:twisted: Especially them Nigerians!

 

This thread is just filled with ignorance and stereotype. If one black Jamican man can have such a influence on you, and you believe all the crap he told you, you're a soon to be 419 victim.

 

No it's not, she's asking an honest question. I applaud her for speaking her mind.

 

Soul Brotha,

Well friends do tend to influence each other.....

victim 419????

I am out of the dating game.....

I have also heard these same thoughts repeated from others, so it wasn't just him....it was others of that descent that echoed him sentiments.....

And the kind of relationship we had, he always gave it to me straight.....

We used to talk about all kinds of stuff....

I don't mean to be disrespectful to those who are African or Carribean, I just wanted some honest dialogue as to where these stereotypes originate from.

And I hoped that by talking to bm of that descent, and of them sharing their experiences I could learn something.

That's all, and I am open to people telling me how wrong I am, I know I am, its just been my experience that those stereotypes about white women are pretty prevalant.

 

I don't think i have ever laughed so hard in my life, my adomen muscles hurt now. hahahahaha she thinks 419 is a dating game :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Snigger!

 

I ain't dissing darling !

 

If you look all around the world, particulalry in less developed countries, or places where religion is dominant, you will see that women are often treated badly.

In Africa, men and women have specific roles and feminism hasn't exactly been let loose there. The women are not regarded as lower than men, but as having a different role in life - the role of having children and looking after the home. Whilst I TOTALLY DISAGREE with that school of thought, it is worthwhile considering that having children and looking after the home is a highly respected role, and not regarded and just domestic chores as it is here.

My experiences are mainly with Nigerians, and quite frankly they annoy the hell out of me sometimes. I have had many many battles with some of my partners friends about how they treat or regard women. Which is mostly not badly, just differently to how I would allow myself to be treated. But unfortunately the women ut there don't help themselves either and things are still set up so that the best a woman can expect in life is to marry well. Even her own education is often geared around meeting a good husband or learning skills that will make her a valuable wife.

But no matter how I may disapprove of how some Nigerians may treat their wives, I have never met a Nigerian who openly and knowingly disrespects his partner. Most of what goes on is purely down to lack of enlightenment, in my opinion at least.

Singling out Africans and Caribbeans seems very harsh, particularly when you consider how many Arab women are treated - Saudi women's births and deaths not being registered, getting stoned to death for bringing shame on the family by being raped, not being allowed out without a man who "owns" her, her own son being of higher position than her and a whole host of disgusting things.

I think Africa has a long way to come, but I honestly think African men are not as bad as some people make them out to be. They are mostly just going along with what their culture dictates, not deciding go against all they know for the sake of it.

There will always be cultural differences if you are with someone from another place, and it's up to you how you work them out. Me nad my partner struggle with some issues but being prejudice against him because of his completely different upbringing isn't going to get anyone anywhere.

 

Na so my broda, na so!

 

WhiteSheDevil, kudos to you for asking this kind of question. But i personally think those stereotypes can apply to men of all different races and cultures. There are sexists all over the world! :roll: Your friend may have been telling you what he believed to be true, or he may have been trying to badmouth other BM. There seems to be many splits in the black community depending on ones origin, class, or tone of skin colour. Who can say for sure what his intentions were, but that isn't the point. I would take what he said with a grain of salt; stereotypes may apply to some of the people they are about, but too often they are used as blanket statements and generalizations for the ignorant and fearful to shelter beneath. Don't let one man's warnings frighten you into lumping all African or Caribbean men into one negative category. They are all individuals, and they deserve more than that. :idea: If you are interested in these cultures, why not purchase books that describe them?

 

I have to say this. I think that dude was trying to get in your pants with those statements,he was trying to make himself out to be the good guy.

 

MOST African culture are MATRIARCHAL

 

NO I DON'T think 419 has to do with dating.....hence the question marks.
I don't know what the F!@K it means.

The next statement was just letting y'all know that I'm married now.

I'm reading a book called "The Caged Virgin" about a Muslim Somalian woman, and how the Muslim's culture, Sharia Laws, are very terrible.

I have not great love for SOME Muslims, Iffey's wifey, but I didn't post about other peoples as this is a forum for WW and BM!

I just wish someone would answer honestly about the perception of ww being loose and easy.

I figured I'd get a lot of heat but I am trying to learn something here and grow.

DAMN.