I admit it...I have a bias against African and Carribean Men

Gaaaad...these damn Naija ppl have hijacked the thread...along with some Africanized-White-Women-bees...Gaaad!!!! what a degenerescence!!!!!

Ok...seriously...I feel as if u guys kinda jumped on Whiteshedevil too quickly...
I know that for an African (big strong but very-too-sensitive ppl), even hearing a question like the one Whiteshedevil asked is offensive!!!

But I don;t think she was tryng to be offensive...
Ok, maybe it's a little naive...maybe even a bit prejudiced...but hey, the perfect person here should thtrow the first stone to lapidate her...

That not gonna be me o!!!

I'm Cameroonian Whiteshedevil...lived all over the place, a good chunk in France...my gf is French...and God she is everything but easy...made me sweat to finally get into her...well u see the picture!!

Do African men think WW are easy? they certainly think they are more "sexual" than their African counterpart!!! but there's nothing pejorative about that!!! it's actually the opposite!!!

Actually, if u want my opinion...(ok, I'm starting a brand new FIRE here!)

ALL WOMEN, black, white, yellow...are "EASY" if a man knows where to touch them...knows how to talk to her...how to look at her,,,how to show her respect and at the same time show her that he would take her without mercy!!...
And many men think this way, African, European or American...like music, seduction is an art...but it's only truly beautiful when practiced with passion...and most women give in to passion!!

 

Thank you.

Jreminator, I'm all about bettering myself!

And the things I don't like I try to change, that's all I'm trying to do.

I appreciate your sincere response.

Soul Brotha, if I had listened to others about BM, I would have never been with one. Aren't you going to answer my question about what a 419 is?????

Just being here seeing the responses here has illuminated how ridiculous I sound. And that's a good thing.

I know I'll be more open minded, it's about being AWARE of yourself and any biases you might have and changing those perceptions. Nobody is totally free of biases, it is human nature.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with the guys I teach English to at my church......they are Hispanic.

They have many notions about American ww that aren't at all flattering but at least they were open enough to discuss these things......

 

WhiteSheDevil,

If it is any consolation, I know I am not an African male, but I have had my own experiences with African males--similar to yours--the majority of them I encountered viewed me as only a piece of a**. Some did not treat me that way, and they were usually in the U.S. for a long time. The majority of the insults came from those who were new to the U.S. Some of these men I asked how do you view American women--Black and White. Many of their statements where stereotypes and generalizations. I would remind them, do you treat you mothers, sisters, or females friends at home the way you attempt to treat me--as a whore. If not, treat me how you would treat your mother or sister--with the upmost respect. I would let them know, I am not the stereotype. Then after that, we would be fine; if he persists in his disrespect, I would not deal with him. I believe designer explained the situation the best. When you find situations where people hold certain stereotypes, there is nothing wrong about discussing the stereotypes held in order to rid yourself of them. It's all about learning and growing. It is a good thing. Just like what you are doing now.

However, many men (American or Foreign, all colors and ethnic groups) I have encountered viewed women as sex objects, money machines, or both when it comes to their motives behind dealing with women. On the other hand, I have meet many men whose views of women went beyond what they could get out of the woman. It depends on that particular time what that man is looking for when he pursues a woman. Men are complicated creatures. I remember one young lady telling me there are only 3 things that men look for--money, sex, or both. When you find the one that wants you and not what he can get out of you, stick with him. This is from a woman who has dated only American men.

Therefore, I will not rule out African or Caribbean men because of what SOME do. Also, I do not try to take the mention of stereotypes or generalizations too personally. Some do not know better; they are from another continent and another country. Instead, I view it as an opportunity to educate and to share our cultures and experiences. I really do not see African or Caribbean men any different from the other men I have encountered in my life. In fact, I have meet many handsome, sweet, and intelligent African/Caribbean men just like many of the American men I meet.

What could help you is to start joining organizations, going to different functions, and frequenting different hang-out spots where African and Caribbean people go. Learn more about their culture, create friendships, and participate in some of their community events. This is how you could rid yourself of the stereotype. For example, I am joining the African Student Council at my university. I look forward to learning about the various African cultures, the issues that affect African men and women, establishing networks, and developing new friendships.

In fact, I find African and Caribbean men extremely sexy, strong, proud, intelligent, and respectful. Most of all, I love their CONFIDENCE. The majority of African and Caribbean men I have meet have a lot of confidence and they do not let anyone push them around and tell them what to do.

Peace and Blessings.

Jacklyn

 

Great post.

Iffey's Wifey's first post was great as well.

My husband, when I met him, had only been in the US for a year or so. He was African to the core. He fell in love with me, decided to marry me, but would allow himself to lose his temper and remind me who wears the pants here. I suffered, but I was in love so I stayed. Time passed, I was growing up and changing, and one day (after another insult that he refused to apologize for) I decided I don't want to put up with the crap anymore. I told my husband I was leaving. He was beyond speechless. He cried and everything. I broke it down to him. I banged my fist on the table and told him that I respect myself. He changed then. I haven't seen any disrespect from him ever since, and it was a while ago.

But still, in the back of my head, I remember. You, who says you love me and writes poems to me and looks at me with those googoo eyes - do you remember THAT which you said and THAT which you did, back then? Were you a different person then? Or was is a side of you that is still there and can always come out?

I'm now in counseling for it. :lol: But, I would like to believe that he is, as you said, someone who wants me for me and not for what I can give him - except my devotion.

 

Oh, missed the part about 419...thanks...

Iffey's wifey take it where ever, I'm enjoying the banter

Lucifermorningstar, I'm feelin you, trust.

Jreminator I guess you were my redemption! :wink:

Designer, thanks, I see what you mean and that is prolly the truth of it!

Moskvichka, keep hangin' in there ma! People do change, and if he has a a lick of sense, he'll know what he has, a precious woman worthy of all the respect.

And for the record I do believe it is possible for people to change!! So keep ya head and if you ever need a shoulder....although we are strangers, I have had some crazy assed possesive, jealous men in my life in the past, and I learned A LOT about those experiences.....

 

xxx

 

Are you having trouble with your mate??

 

I really am not going to give this topic much glorification by responding to such cantankery. I believe i've dealt with it previously.

 

I just want to thank everyone who took the time out to point out my ass holeness.

It's easier to see oneselfs not so nice thougts when they are written down.

I am now going to make a concerted effort to get to know African/carribean men and see how they feel, because I am committed to bettering myself as a person and ridding myself of ridiculous biases.

So thank you for all who took the time to answer in a non confrontational manner. I really appreciate putting it out there like that!

 

Generally I think there are cultural differences between African men and jamaican men, but Africa is a bloody lot bigger place than Jamaica and all the West Indies put together so you cant just say "Africans" if you get me?

The majority of Nigerian men I have met absoloutely worship their women and their children, and work bloody hard. whilst the majority of "yardies" tend to sow their seeds and run!

Not saying Africans/Jamaicans are all the same as I do not sterotype Im just saying overall.

 

i've heard that before but i have to disagree because that hasnt been my experinece with most africans....and i think its a long standing myth that says they're matriarchical because most africans i know the men are regarded as superior to the women and are given free range to do whatever they want while the women are not given such freedom.... perhaps they were a bit more matriarchical in the past but not anymore (and i still even doubt that belief about them being truely matriarchical in the past)....i will say this the cultures regarded women a bit more equally in the past than they do now.


i think all those continents over in that area (africa, the middle east, asia, etc. )are almost like peas in a pod in regard to how they treat women. i have met a few african men that didnt seem very sexist just as ive met a few arabs who didnt seem sexist but for the most part i cant say that and i dont know what those men would act like once they marry you...i do know arab men have a habit of completely changing from sweet and charming to dominating and ironfisted once they marry you.


one thing ill give african men though.....they are very sincere about their children and being in their lives... and they will work their ass off. i dont know of any africans who dont take care of their children.

 

the perception about white women being lose and easy in african culture is something i didnt know about

 

I think there are a lot of cultures which view us that way. Hell, even a lot of WM think WW are easy. :lol:

 

For what it's worth one of my best girlfriends is Haitian and she has said to me "no offense but a lot of caribbean guys see white women as having a reputation as being easy - someone just to have "fun" with. Note that's a lot not all my bf is Haitian and we have a definate relationship not just "fun" (Actually I met him through that particular girlfriend).

 

Im an american black who parents are haitian and i can say that i too have been sexist till i was challenged for my views and had to see how wrong i was because the truth is women have the choice to do what they want and who they want to be with .

I have learned that carribean are very sexist even the men in my family not all are sexist but alot are in they roles as a man in the house hold they are great fathers but only a handful are supportive sensitive husbands luckly for me i was born in america with the commonsense to respect women since my mother is a single black woman widowed .

That is why i do try to be more supportive respectful to women but still put my foot down as a man i dont except disrespect to myself as well so i will fight back verbally if necessary .

 

nonsense

WhiteSheDevil is full of shit

 

Re: nonsense

Everyone walks around with prejudices and biases, there's no shame in asking a question and being open to learning from the answer.

Meaningless criticizsm is pointless and unncessary. If you have something constructive to say then put it out there, otherwise get off the girl.

 

thanx FSP! *hugs*....soooo he thinks I'm full of shyte *shrugs* can't have everyone love you

It's not like I didn't know feeling that way was wrong. That's why I put it out there. Show it the light and examine the root cause so I could eradicate it. Not exactly something I was proud of, nobody's perfect. But I have found that by acknowledging not so pretty things about oneself, is the first step to changing it. And I have to say I have changed my concious mind on the subject. I guess I'll need to be around some of those guys to put it into practice!

 

Re: nonsense

actually whiteshedevil is full of shit, this thread is based on nothing more than racial stereotypes and in many ways says more about whiteshedevil than she does about us.

 

Brothers why are we dissing Sexy Mama, Geez C'mon guyz. I think she likes brothers from the motherland. What she expressed is her way of saying I wanna know more about you guys.

You need to chill besides this thread is old so let it go