IR Dating Blog On AJC.com

:arrow: Go to: http://www.ajc.com/health/content/shared-blogs/ajc/parenting/entries/2006/10/25/would_you_allow.html

 

This was very interesting. I thought that most of the posters had really positive views towards their sons and daughters dating interracially. One woman said it best "it's hard enough to find true love as it is, so no matter what color the skin, if you've found somebody who truly loves you, you've found something great." I don't think it was said exactly like that, but it was something similar. Anyway, one poster seemed really concerned about family members and friends, and what random people on the street might think about it. Well, for some reason, in my mind i just don't even care what other people think about my wanting to date interracially. Not my family, not my friends....not anybody. And the stares and all that other stuff doesn't mean anything to me because those stares are coming from the same people who overlook me and pass me by on the street every single day. Those people don't know me, and don't care about me or anything in my life, so why should i care if they stare at me or not?? I've been stared at for other reasons before, so getting stares because i have a white girl on my arm is not a big deal whatsoever. If you have tough skin, and if somehow you're able to block out all of the negative outside influences, you can definitely have a successful interracial relationship. :wink:

 

You know that I am one to agree with such a statement that you made, Bryant, however, I grow weary of all of this 'I don't care about who they're with, as long as they're happy', or, 'well, my friends/family would have a problem with it' mumbo-jumbo, and so on, because in the every end, where does this kind of constant chatter get us all within the IR society? NOWHERE, in fact, we are pretty much back to where we started, because too many of us IR people as well as non-IR people, are always, always, always, over-analyzing how we feel about it, how other people feel about it who are against it, and what we look for in a person if we were to do it, or if we were to 'approve' of someone else that we know who's doing it, and so on. This type of talk seems incredibly MONOTONOUS to me, especially when it's 2006...

and, yes, the blog is fascinating, in fact, I couldn't read all of it because it was so long, and I don't have enough time, BUT I DO plan to finish it, however, if people keep having these kind of discussions about Interracial Dating, let alone monitoring the views, actions, and thoughts of other people who either are or aren't against it, then how will we finally be able to live in a world where these kinds of conversations never come up at all, whether people choose to date Interracially or not?

It's one thing to talk about the issues with it if they concern you and others, but it's another thing to CONSTANTLY talk about it over and over again, trying to think for yourself by letting other people think for you until even that gets too old for you to deal with anymore.

MY 2 cents.....

 

SardonicGenie, you know i am always someone who never falls short of offering you, and anyone else for that matter, compliments when you are right but i think that I, and probably, most people see it the way Bryant sees it. Do not be mistaken; you are not wrong under any circumstances. You are absolutely correct and that is a great counter-argument put forward but to me, the question of interracial is not so black-and-white and easy to analyze, given it's history in America, and so these conversations might be worthwhile to some. Now, i am not one who indulges in them which is why i see where you're coming from but in a society like America, where everybody is so concerned with protecting their own interests at all costs, such conversations perhaps could help examine what it is that we are gettting wrong as a society.

Personally, i do not believe people, especially online, when they come up with all this, "I would not mind it if my daughter did it" and all that. Some of these people would swear they are not racists and are against racism. They would proclaim that they're fine with whatever person their family members or friends date as long as he's Christian. Now that there is bigotry. If you're truly not a bigot, why should religious suscription be a factor? In all honesty, that is a common belief shared by many people today.

Furthermore, i really dislike having these kind of conversations with people, especially white males because i happen to get offended either way it is approached. Now, i have nothing against white males who have not offended me in any way and i have some as friends. But i try my damnest hard not to participate in these kind of conversations. At first, i used to and then i'd ask them to be very upfront with me about their feelings towards it. A lot of the time, they'd lie to me and pass off as though they were absolutely comfortable with the idea. But let me just do so much as to compliment a white girl and they'd irritate me in some way or the other. Either that or in some weird way, i'd find out their real feeings.

Secondly, i do not like to discuss it with people because the disgusting views they have (which i do not even want to get started on) are downright reflective or their bigoted and insecure way of thinking. I figured out that the best way of enjoy your relationship is by having it rather than spending the most of your time defending it. Once, a friend of mine(a black guy too) asked me how come i date white girls with ease and everything seems easy to me given the fact that pretty much everyone is against black men/white women relationships. I'd be willing to tell you just what i told him and pretty much anyone else who inquires me about it. Whenever people so much as to question my reasons for dating white women or others, i often ask them 3 questions:
1) Is she your wife?
2) Is she your sister?
3) Is she your mother?

If you cannot answer "yes" to at least ONE of the 3 questions, do not ever question my dating options again or you'd regret it. You know, i have hardly ever met people who could answer a "yes" to at least 1 of the 3 questions.

Now that is how to enjoy an interracial relationship.