IR In The Dirty South

This question/topic is directed at any of the members of this site that live in the South. In your opinion, what cities in this region are best for pursuing an IR relationship? I currently reside in Memphis, TN, and I must be honest that there isn't much going on here. So much to the point that I am considering starting up a social club to appeal to those in this area that find IR relationships appealing. In over a decade of dating I have only met and dated a precious few women that are originally from Memphis. Most of my girlfriends have been from other regions in the country. I have already heard about Atlanta(not an option), and I am considering a move to Florida to expand my horizons, but if you have any feedback, it would be welcomed.

 

one thing first, Atlanta not an option? Atlanta is the hub of the new south, so you pretty much knock out most of the south with not going there. Orlando, Florida, Miami, Tampa, West Palm Beach, Charleston SC, Charlotte NC, Arlington-Alexandria, Virginia, Takoma Park MD, Columbia MD, Baltimore, Annapolis, MD, Louisville Ky, Dallas, Houston and San Antonio Texas.

These are all places where dating IR is acceptable to a point

 

should have checked out Professor Skip Gates' new Documentary on PBS. It is called, Beyond The Color Line: and deals with an IR couple and child in Birmingham Alabama.

 

I have yet to venture to a single Southern state, but based upon what I've heard, there isn't a whole lotta of mixing going on. Marcus Dixon comes to mind when I think of so-called interracial relationships in the South nowadays.

Based upon my travels, however, it would seem impossible for interracial mating to be less popular than what I saw on the East Coast. I saw mixing between black men and Latin women in New York, but that what was about it.

The best I've seen is in: Seattle, San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles; generally all major West Coast cities.

 

Well Sat, my friend, ya need to travel more. there are tons of IR couples in DC, in Philly, In Boston, in Hartford, In Albany, In Buffalo

and if you havent travelled down south yet, you can hardly make a judgement. Go to New Orleans, Atlanta, Savannah, Jacksonville, Charlotte, Charleston, Austin, Houston, Dallas, Louisville

and then you will see, NOT hear, what the reality is.

I am a black man born and raised in the South and dated IR all my life. And was married to a wonderful South Carolina blue blood Belle

 

sxxxy G,

That is a good idea. Why not? I am tired of narrow minded people dictating to others how they should live and what kind of relationships they should be in.

Don't be discouraged and it will happen.

 

I tell you what, my hometown of Charlotte, North Cackilacki has some chunky donkys!!! Me, personally dont see alot of IR dating going on for some reason, but the ladies down there are F I N E. And thats my word!!!

 

I was in Oklahoma and in Houston Texas for a little while and I went to the clubs down there. These women are going crazy for black guys... either that, or they won't even look at you. I have an accent, and the panties would drop even quicker than with the local negros...

I find it particularly hilarious, these girls go after anything that's black. It feels nice at first, but then you have to wonder, what's the drive behind these girls intentions.

Particularly Oklahoma City.. I was walking around a Mall one time and I kept seeing white women pushing strollers and when I would take a peep in, ALL the babies were black. It was quite a SHOCK for me. In the next 40-50 years there are going to be so many mix babies around these places.

 

I think in any local area you visit your more likely to get girls drop there panties then you would if you were from the same area as the girls. I guess the ladies figure that they might as well do something with the guy from out of town since he's more likely to not spread any rumors around town.

 

First post..and I have a lot to say

I'm new to the site..and am very excited about it because I've enjoyed reading a lot of the posts so far.

I'm from Memphis as well; I've grown up here and am currently a student at the University here.

My dating life at school has been interesting..nothing has turned out the way I'd hoped and have really had no luck. I'm in a sorority and they've mostly been frat guys..so that could be the root of the problem..I don't know.

One of the closests friends that I've made has been a guy who I met in one of my classes my freshman year and who also is on the football team here. He's been the first black guy that I've ever been this close to..because in Memphis, we really are pretty segregated when it comes to interracial dating and honestly, I was always looked down upon for having any kind of friendships with black guys, so I avoided it.

But I can't hide my feelings for my friend, I know that I am attracted to him and the only reason I haven't done anything about it is because of what others think. I know it shouldn't matter, but it's such a big step and if I don't have friends that will support me, I know I won't be able to do it. I'm afraid of what my sorority sisters, parents, and other collegues may say and how they may look at me.

I've discussed all of this with him, and he seems to be understanding, but at the same time is hurt because he thinks that I'm not being truthful with my feelings for him. He's from Houston, TX and I don't know how interracial dating is looked upon there, but I know that he dated white girls and black girls in high school, so I'm sure that it's different than Memphis.

This post is a lot longer than I intended..but I guess I just have a lot going on in my mind and no one to talk to about it. I love this city, but really wish it would get over all the racist crap because we are way behind everyone else.

 

there are fine white women in the south, but only specefic places where they will date black men. Texas is one, Okla is another i hear adn Atlanta, but not many other places

 

Welcome Tiger, I grew up down south so i know what you are talking about. the whites were very closed minded and didnt want to be seen dating black guys, even if they liked them.

it is sad, but i hope you learn that is it not christian to be prejudiced, and that you should love all of Gods children, regardless of race.

 

satyricon, I have to say you are wrong about the east coast, maybe you just went to the wrong places! I am in CT, but very close to NYC - IR dating is very prevalent in this area. Out of my travels to the US, I have found the south to be the most intolerant. I have actually been apporached by women in the south who told me I stole their man! Since my ex fiance was from Barbados, and only came to the US to see me, my response was usually - oh, have you been to BIM? Then how did I steal your man?

Additionally, I have found that men in the South are hesitant to approach you in the club, but will chase you down in the parking lot - to me, it is that they don't want the BW to see their interest - too shady for my taste!

 

Admittedly, I've never been to any of the New England states; I know they all have small numbers of black folks living there. If I'm not mistaken, Vermont is the whitest state in the union; I think that my dark skin would be seen as exotic (by some) in such a place.

Yeah, I think in places where "interracial" mating is frowned upon, socially, there is a repression which prevents the notion of a black man and white woman sharing love (or sex) from developing relationships in a healthy manner. It's almost analogous to a man being seen leaving a porn shop by his pastor. The porn consumer is doing something that doesn't meet with the prevailing beliefs promulgated by one's faith, culture and society. By contrast, this week, I had a (white) ex-girlfriend tell me that I was her first love; a feeling she can have without fear of disapproval from her family and friends.

 

I can personally attest to the fact that there are MANY parts of the South where IR dating is very prevalent, especially in places like Dallas, TX, Atlanta, GA and Jacksonville, FL (where I currently reside). It is not unusual to go to a local mall in any of those cities and witness numerous IR couples out and about. I've lived in all 3 cities, and I have visited others like Charleston (SC), Columbia (SC), Chattanooga (TN), Knoxville (TN), Orlando (FL), Austin (TX) and Houston (TX) and the white women I approached were very open to my advances. I saw IR couples in those cities as well.

Its a shame that there are so many misconceptions about the South. Granted, there is a stubborn element of racism and white supremacy still hanging on by a thread, but as someone who was born and raised in the South, I have encountered MORE racism OUTSIDE of the South than inside it. Just my 2 cents.

 

In the popular imagination when people think of the "East Coast", New York and Boston come most immediately to mind. I suspect that's because they have a history and stature which overshadows their closest neighbors.

Washington and Oregon, for example, are West Coast states but when people think of the "West Coast", California is usually how they perceive things. That said, I'll definitely get a look at some of the NE states whenever I visit the East Coast again.

 

The South

I'm sure there are places in the south where IR couples are accepted, but I think the problem is how people here (meaning the south) tend to hold onto traditions (the good and the bad) for many years. It's obvious with the boys flying their confederate flags off their trucks and the way parents go crazy when the school districts change and more kids from the city start to attend the public schools out in the county.

I've grown up with it. My dad once got so mad at me because I had a picture up in my room of me hugging one of my friends on the track team who was a BM, and he told me that picture made me look bad and he never wanted to see something like that again. To a lot of people that may sound like an ignorant comment, but I know my father isn't ignorant, it was just a way of life for him. I don't agree with him, and I can try to show him that may friend is just as good as any white guy I may know, but I don't think I could change his view.

It's very frustrating. And it's even more frustrating now that I want to start a relationship with an incredible guy who just happens to be black.

 

Welcome to the site Tigersfan... Sorry that you have to go thru that situation... Going out with that guy is something that is going to be rough.. and ur gonna have to be really strong to accept it.. Im not exactly sure what to tell you 2 do.. but i can tell you how its going to be. :?

 

Hi Tigersfan -

I have been exactly in your shoes - my father is not what I would call prejudiced to the level of KKK stuff, but his mentality is that interracial dating is wrong - he has never had a problem w/ my black female friends, but refused to accept the men in my life. I did my years of sneaking around, and had my father tell me to my face at one point that he would never accept me in an IR, and that that might be the last time we spoke. We have had our battles over the years, and I can look back now and see that some of it was my fault by the way I handled it - however, now things are easier.

I came to a point where I realized, and I have said this to my father, that I can't push away my chance of happiness to make him happy - he is not living my life, I am, and if he loves me unconditionally, he needs to accept whatever or whoever makes me happy, regardless of what he feels. It took me a long time to come to this, and to say that to his face.

However, I think it helped = when I told my parents I was engaged to my ex, who was not only a BM, but someone from another country - - he wasn't happy about it, but he still stood by me. The best advice I can give you, if you want to date a BM, is be open about it - not throw it in his face, but let your father get to know your BM friends as your friends, and see who they are as individuals = if you try to sneak around, it will make things worse.

Suz